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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my weight is no ones buisness but my own

261 replies

portolodn · 03/12/2017 10:25

I'm obese and happy with it but other people seem to have an issue with it. I've, stupidly, confided in a few people that I've been warned that I have a high blood sugar level and my doctor has said I'm classified as having prediabetes. But I'm very happy with my life and my body. Other people are now dropping huge suggestions on things I should change and stop doing. Surely it's my choice what I do with my life and people should just worry about themselves?

OP posts:

Raisedbyguineapigs · 03/12/2017 11:58

My DB has diabetes and gout. Hes only 40. It's very worrying to me. He is married and his DW has been great with supporting him to lose weight and they have both done things together to lose weight. He still has the diabetes and the gout but has lost a stone in weight. My parents are also diabetic and are in complete denial. My mum said to my Db last time I was round that hes lucky because he gets free prescriptions now!! She is convinced his issues are because he has an allergy rather than long term poor eating, going back to when he lived with them. I've given up saying things to them because they seem to have the same attitude as you. But however happy you are, it will not matter to the NHS or people who will have to care for you if you have to have your feet amputated.

Ta1kinPeace · 03/12/2017 12:03

Unless the OP is a top rate rate taxpayer
their NHS costs are being subsidised by others
so it IS other people's business when bad choices are made.

PollyPerky · 03/12/2017 12:04

How can you be happy knowing you are likely to get diabetes which could result in blindness, amputations, and also cancer and heart disease on top of the diabetes?

I think you mean you are in denial, not happy.

It's the same scenario as smokers. 'Oh it won't happen to me'.

JonSnowsWife · 03/12/2017 12:05

That simply isn't true though. I don't think that but you just used that chesnut to try and shut me down.

How have I just tried to shut you down TheFirstMrsDV? The stats for smokers and alcoholics are out there too and just as worrying as the obesity figures. I'm simply pointing it out.

Cheekyandfreaky · 03/12/2017 12:07

Not RTFT but don’t tell people your health problems if you don’t want their suggestions. It’s natural if you’re confiding bad news from docs that ppl offer the most obvious solution.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 03/12/2017 12:07

Your a dick! I have arthritis which I can’t do anything about but you CAN do something about having pre-diabetes and you are doing bugger all about it. Diabetes (even when caused by weight) is free to treat on the NHS when conditions like asthma is not free to treat. You need to stop being so fucking selfish

usernameinfinito · 03/12/2017 12:08

OP if this is real, you need to wake up and smell the (sugar free) coffee. Diabetes is not a joke. It’s a serious illness. Take it seriously.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/12/2017 12:08

"Not RTFT but don’t tell people your health problems if you don’t want their suggestions. "

TBF, with obesity you can see the potential for health problems.

Rebeccaslicker · 03/12/2017 12:08

Jon - there is an enormous difference between people who have conditions that they cannot help and those who have conditions that they could have avoided. Even with diabetes - take a look at something like the Reddit diabetes sub and a lot of the type 1 diabetics frequently express their view that type 2 is a million times easier because you can take control of it (I really think they should have different names as type 1 and type 2 are so different!).

For adults who are saying that their weight doesn't affect anyone else - it absolutely does when it comes to healthcare. Look at this to raise your blood pressure: an enormously obese man put on a ward to lose weight before bariatric surgery, all at the taxpayers' expense. Doesn't lose a pound because he keeps eating junk whilst in hospital. The blood boiling bit is when he is told how much he is costing the NHS and he just shrugs and says it's not his money, not his problem...

m.youtube.com/watch?v=xPmtBg4wPH0

As I said upthread, I'm not being goady because i need to lose weight and I am also staring down the barrel of type 2. But you can only help those who will help themselves in this sort of case.

Papergirl1968 · 03/12/2017 12:08

I’m in a similar position to you and watched my dad firstly lose his legs and then ultimately his life because of diabetes related complications.
I’m obese and prediabetic and I know I need to lose weight but even with those motivations, it’s bloody hard, and unwanted advice from other people just puts me on the defensive.
And to be honest the replies quoting how much diabetes costs the country don’t help. Yep, I’m fat but I don’t drink or smoke.
I get you, Op

PollyPerky · 03/12/2017 12:09

I don't see why it is acceptable to tell other people how they should be living their life

If you want to self-fund private medical care for the rest of your life, then it's only your business.

But your lifestyle choices cost us all money which could be spent on diseases where people have no choice or control over them?

Same as the seatbelt law came in to stop people being scraped off the road and put back together.

You are part of a society. You cost us all money. At least booze and fags are taxed highly enough to pay for some of the health care people need.

Adviceneededhelp · 03/12/2017 12:09

Stay fat then and get diabetes. Since you so want to control your own life, you'll probably not take the medication either and die in a few years. Oh well.

Cant really be sympathetic about you dying. A friend of mine died at 21 from diabetes. She always did her injections as well, never missed one. Still was unlucky and died.

But hey you want your life to be yours. Be ungrateful then, scoff your face and die young. That's your future. My friend doesn't have one.

JonSnowsWife · 03/12/2017 12:09

See. There's my point proven again.

Would you say the same to an alcoholic Peppa?

NiktheGreek · 03/12/2017 12:13

As I said in my previous post I am terrified at the thought of getting diabetes and this thread has only enforced that feeling. I will do everything I can to try and prevent it. Why anybody would play so fast and loose with such a serious health condition is beyond me.

ButchyRestingFace · 03/12/2017 12:14

TBF, with obesity you can see the potential for health problems.

It wasn’t her weight she confided in people about, it was her high blood sugar reading and prediabetes.

If you tell people about something like that, you’re bound to get suggestions - even if you weighed 7 stone.

If you are not up for any advice, the trick is not to tell people.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 03/12/2017 12:15

Jon it depends if the alcoholic is being goady like the OP.
I’m not saying that losing weight is easy but the OP couldn’t give a shit to even try

Rebeccaslicker · 03/12/2017 12:19

I have private health care but even if I didn't, I don't understand people with similar issues to mine saying that it doesn't help to think about the cost. Why not? Just because smokers and alcoholics cost money that makes it ok to keep harming yourself and have others pick up the bill?

I had to console a friend who was sobbing because she had been denied IVF because her partner has a living child with his ex - that's because of funding. It's not her fault. But there isn't the money to pay for everyone to have that sort of treatment.

If I need extra healthcare with my second child; if I need drugs and appointments for the rest of my life - if I hadn't at least tried by eating less (and far less of the wrong things) and moving more - I would feel very guilty indeed, and I wouldn't be able to look my friend in the eye.

JonSnowsWife · 03/12/2017 12:20

I could say the same about the neighbour smoker next to me in hospital who had pleurisy and pneumonia and was still nipping out for a fag every fifteen minutes.

She clearly didnt give a shit either.

Octopus37 · 03/12/2017 12:22

I'm sure you can change your diet to improve the situation and make that the focus rather than your weight if you really are happy with your weight. You can still enjoy good food with less sugar and feel good about your body and happy with your life I'm sure. Dont know what suggestions you have been given and I might be totally off the mark here, but maybe a high fat low carb diet would help to control your blood sugar.

JonSnowsWife · 03/12/2017 12:22

Just because smokers and alcoholics cost money that makes it ok to keep harming yourself and have others pick up the bill?

Only that's not what I said Rebeccaslicker . I clearly told the OP in my first post on this thread she needs to listen to her doctors.

Sirzy · 03/12/2017 12:22

It’s hard to see people you care for ill or becoming ill. It is natural to want to try to help stop that happening.

I can understand your frustration as losing weight is hard if your not in the right place to do it (and I say that as someone who has lost and kept off a significant amount of weight mainly because of what it was doing to my health) but I would just keep in mind it is because people care

ButchyRestingFace · 03/12/2017 12:25

I could say the same about the neighbour smoker next to me in hospital who had pleurisy and pneumonia and was still nipping out for a fag every fifteen minutes.

The people giving OP the unwanted advice are not strangers to her though.

She chose to confide in them about her diagnosis so evidently has some kind of relationship with them.

I doubt anyone in real life would frame their concern for a relative or friend’s wellbeing around an argument about the cost to the state.

HopingForSomeSnow · 03/12/2017 12:26

OP - try googling diabetes and what is does to your body in the long term. You may go blind, you will probably get ulcers which may result in amputation of part of your leg. Nerve damage, heart disease and stroke are also common.
Maybe you think it can be treated simply and easily with a daily injection - it can't. You are sleep walking into a life of pain and serious disability - of course people are going to try and get you to understand the implications of what you are doing. YABVVVVU.

AgentProvocateur · 03/12/2017 12:26

Maybe because they care for you and don’t want to see you die or in a wheelchair with a leg amputated? What a selfish post.

Sarahjconnor · 03/12/2017 12:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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