to think we make sex out to be more important than it is

[purpleangel17]

Sex seems to be the centre of the universe these days. It is used to sell things all the time. People want to be sexually attractive. It is assumed sex is an essential part of any relationship. People talk as if they have a 'right' to sex, to frequent, 'good' sex, however you define that. Maybe men feel the 'entitlement' more but I think women feel it too.

Does anyone else find it a bit sad? It just feels the world is so focused on individual pleasure these days.

Very odd to be sad because other people think sex is important.

It's a basic natural urge isn't it. I don't think it's sad.

It’s not sad at all! Sounds like you need a good shag

Not sad that people think it is important but sad that they think it is essential, a right or one of the most important things.

It is important but it isn't the centre of the universe.

I agree that it is sad that it is used to sell products but have no feelings about an individuals desire or non desire to have sex

I really don't. Celibate by choice three years and never happier. Doesn't mean I think others should be celibate but it isn't the be all and end all.

It's each to their own...myself and my truly lovely exDH broke up due to completely mismatched sex drives, mine is very high-his non existent. We're now divorced after 10yrs of trying to make it work which ultimately led to me being unfaithful (which I hugely regret hurting him). Luckily we are now best of friends and see each other regularly. Myself and DP are much more evenly matched and both have high sex drives, often doing it several times a day even though I'm now 36wks pregnant so sex is an extremely important and vital part of a relationship for me.

Well I'm all for it 😂

Sex really is the centre of the universe though. Without it a lot of life would cease to exist. There’d just be plants and snails and shit.

I agree that it’s used to sell things too much, but it’s basically the foundation of our world.

I think it's essential and important. But I agree it can't be a 'right' or people would have to be supplied for it.

I dont know if this overlaps with your point but I was thinking of something past night:

Me and DP are in our 30s and havent had sex since last week. Its because hes dealing with a stressful situation and im going through a slightly depressed patch I think so we're just supporting each other and being tactile but not sexual.

I started feeling really guilty and panicked though last night - like we were "supposed" to be having more sex and then i realised i didnt feel that way deep down inside me, its more i feel that way because its what i feel is expected of us if that makes sense.

but it isn't the be all and end all.

Surely you understand that’s your opinion and not fact.

Others feel differently and it doesn’t make you a better or worse person for feeling that way.

I think celibacy is unusual.

I'd hate that myself.

Yes we need sex to reproduce and yes it us a biological urge but now that we have access to contraception, most sex is aimed at pleasure not reproduction.

Depends I guess. If you are with someone who has a high sex drive & you don't, then even if everything else is perfect, your relationship is doomed.
Whilst I hate the way that some things are branded by using sex appeal, in an every day relationship it is important. I guess everyone has different opinions, probably stemming from their own personal sex lives

I would have agreed with you one upon a time....and then I discovered
how amazing sex can be. Sex is important, well to me anyway, but each to their own.

Yes it is my opinion but in today's world I am more likely to be criticised for being celibate by choice than someone who chooses to have regular, safe, casual sex. If we are all entitled to our own opinions, why is that? I am not criticising anyone's individual choice but I don't think a sex-for-pleasure focused society is a very healthy one. Again, my opinion.

Bring it on !
Sex is great. And fun. And I'm heading towards 60.

Sex is great and I’ll happily have some right now please! Shame I’m at work will have to wait til later

Well it is in many ways.

But I think sex is actually less important in society than it is today. In days gone by, a woman's only status was whether she was having sex or not - I.e. married and therefore obliged to have sex as and when or single and not allowed to have sex at all.

I don't think anyone will criticise you for being celibate. I don't think anyone cares.

Probably because if anyone choses to forgo what is probably the most pleasurable activity in life (pure physical pleasure that is) it seems rather odd to those of us, sad or not, who spend a lot of time thinking about it and as much time as possible doing it.
I suppose it is a bit like food, there is a lot to be said for a plain and nutritious diet, but eat drink and be merry is a more popular mantra.

I would only have sex for pleasure I think most other reasons would be considered rape?

And sex for babies should still be enjoyable!

It is assumed sex is an essential part of any relationship.

For me, sexual intimacy is an essential part of an adult relationship. Sex is a natural thing, and it’s ok to enjoy it. Physical intimacy with a partner is healthy for both body and mind as long as the respect is there. It’s also fine for men and women to enjoy sex as a casual thing, alone, several times a week or once in a while, not a sad thing at all - completely natural.

it isn't the be all and end all.

Until we can grow babies in piss, it actually kind of is.

Plus it is incredible. Really. My sexual experiences have transformed me as a person. Not every single one, of course. But with the right person in the right circumstances....honestly, I pity anyone who's not had that.