Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be unimpressed at DH having 3 large glasses of wine last night...

188 replies

RaisonableLady · 17/11/2017 11:01

First off - I know there are many people who are dealing with properly serious alcohol issues and I don't suggest I'm in the same boat... this is just a question about habits...

So last night I got home at 7 and DH was on his first large glass of white. (The DCs had been with the childminder till then btw).

He had 2 more by the time I took the kids up to bed at about 8.45. He wasn't argumentative but - as DCs correctly pointed out - he was being blummin annoying... wittering on about nonsense, glassy-eyed...

It was an ordinary week-day evening. I wasn't drinking, so he was drinking alone - (I don't have much - which I know colours my view ). He hadn't finished work for the week - he wasn't celebrating anything - we were all just watching It Takes Two and Masterchef.

Unsurprisingly, he fell asleep, snoring loudly, on the sofa before 9.30.

Help!! I just don't understand the point of downing 6 units of alcohol on your own... But then he's not necking a whole bottle, doesn't do it every night... Thoughts welcome.

OP posts:
pinkdelight · 17/11/2017 11:03

If it's not a regular thing I don't see the big deal. He's a grown up. It's not a huge amount. So he prattled on a bit then fell asleep. What's the panic?

Leilaniii · 17/11/2017 11:03

So what? I think you're being a bit controlling, to be honest. Why shouldn't he have a few glasses of wine if he wants to?

Sirzy · 17/11/2017 11:04

Maybe he just fancied a couple of drinks? Not really getting the problem.

beepboopbeep · 17/11/2017 11:05

Three large glasses (250ml) are technically a bottle, so they can’t have been that large. You clearly drink very little and this is colouring your view. I wouldn’t think much of anyone having three glasses of wine in an evening.

Unless he is a super lightweight I’d be very surprised he was drunk. Maybe he needed a drink and to witter on about nonsense and he was tired...

This would be zero cause for concern for me

Ttbb · 17/11/2017 11:05

I would probably be annoy if my DH did this. What a waste of time.

beepboopbeep · 17/11/2017 11:07

Also you say it’s a question about habits but then go on to say he doesn’t do it every night

Yabu

pennysnow · 17/11/2017 11:08

It's not THAT much wine is it? Blush

I mean, if you had it every night, (like, a whole bottle virtually,) I would say 'errrm steady on...' Smile But not if it's just now and again.

pinkdelight · 17/11/2017 11:09

How is it a waste of time? What was he going to achieve after 9:30pm on a work night, or whilst watching Masterchef??

RandomDreams · 17/11/2017 11:09

I don't see the problem, it's not as though he's doing it every night or even that regularly from what you have said OP, chill the fuck out.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 17/11/2017 11:09

If you don't drink much are you sure they were large glasses? As I would finish off a bottle in 3x large glasses here. And that would be more than six units.

Anyway, kids safe, well cared for, he obviously needed to unwind a bit and the worst thing that happened was he fell asleep on the sofa. Which I can quite capably do after a knackering day and a long commute without wine. Did you sort of 'whip it up' a bit with the kids to get them to say daddy was being funny? Because of it's not a regular thing I really wouldn't be concerned and would get off his case a bit.

christmaspudding1 · 17/11/2017 11:09

Dear God some men must lead a miserable lifeSmile

MissMisery · 17/11/2017 11:12

Yes YABU. Three glasses of wine and got a bit sleepy?!! Jeeez if that was a crime I would've been out on my ear years ago!

Of course I wouldn't recommend it every night, but once in a while - no problem at all.

shiplessocean · 17/11/2017 11:12

I had a really shit day at work on Wednesday, came back home and had 2 very large drinks. My DH didn't have any. No big deal unless it's happening every night.

sourpatchkid · 17/11/2017 11:14

Honestly MN view to drinking always surprises me but for the record OP very few on here would agree with you

I personally don’t think is appropriate to be drunk around children (I have drinkers in the family, not alcoholics but people who like to have a few and get merry) I rarely drink (used to, just can’t be bothered with it anymore) so I see the concerned look on the kids faces when their dad has “just one more” and becomes an idiot (because drunk people are really irritating when you’re sober)

CrabappleCake · 17/11/2017 11:14

Going to go against the flow here and say that if its unusual for him - it's worth checking out there's not something else going on. I'd do this - have a drink when DH wasn't (he doesn't drink much) after work because I was actually really stressed and I wasn't doing it for good reasons.

It's not a good sign with me.

For others it's fine obviously.

hellsbellsmelons · 17/11/2017 11:15

3 large glasses is a bottle of wine.
So maybe they weren't as large as you thought????
I have a couple of small glasses of wine quite regularly.
Don't see any harm.
Although I don't get annoying or glassy eyed!

astoundedgoat · 17/11/2017 11:15

I'd be annoyed and bored if DH feel asleep on the sofa at 9.30pm.

You're overreacting about the drink though. You said yourself it's not a "thing", so leave it. He's an adult.

I drink roughly a bottle of wine over the course of a week. Half a bottle of wine is three small/medium glasses. I'm surprised he was visibly drunk though - are you sure you weren't imagining it/embellishing your perception because you were cross?

LagunaBubbles · 17/11/2017 11:15

Not getting the problem really, at least enough to post on MN about it. There must be more to it, whats the back story?

PasDeDeux · 17/11/2017 11:16

Yabu

LagunaBubbles · 17/11/2017 11:17

Im also guessing he doesnt drink much normally otherwise he wouldnt be drunk on a few glasses either.

Original poster
RaisonableLady · 17/11/2017 11:17

They were large glasses and they were almost full, so maybe it was nearly a bottle and I underestimated.

It just really annoys me. He does it quite often. He wasn't drunk drunk - that's true. But it did affect him.

Why do I/we have to put up with him being annoying because he's necked some booze? And then why do I have to have my evening spoilt by him snoring his head off just when I get to sit down after a full day working, cooking dinner and putting the DCs to bed?

(Also on other evening's he's done it he HAS been argumentative.)

Because of medication I can't drink at the same rate he can (I can want to vom after half a glass) so yes, it absolutely does colour how I see it. But I've had plenty of drunken nights/terrible hangovers in my life. Just don't see the need to have that much in that situation.

OP posts:
TheWhyteRoseShallRiseAgain · 17/11/2017 11:18

I don't drink much due to migraines and medication and I really don't see a problem with this at all. He wasn't drunk and obnoxious or doing it every night so I don't think you need to worry

Meeep · 17/11/2017 11:20

Yanbu at all.
If he's doing this regularly it's really annoying for you, it's not good for the kids to see, plus if he's being argumentative that makes it ten times worse.

Is he argumentative when he's sober too?

Ilovetolurk · 17/11/2017 11:20

How often is “quite often” OP?

That would be the rub forme

ReanimatedSGB · 17/11/2017 11:21

How often does he do it, though? If it's once a month or less then you need to take the stick out of your arse. If it's every other night and so at least half the week you are doing all the household work while he's snoring on the sofa then YANBU so much.