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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how you'd respond to your FIL making an unannounced speech at your wedding?

302 replies

quickopinionsplease · 11/11/2017 11:25

As per the title really Smile

So there you are at your wedding breakfast, formal affair, it's speech time.

You all know the running order, you're all a bit nervous because you've been working on your speech.

And then in the middle of it all, FIL stands up to make a speech. You aren't sure what's going on.

He hasn't told you about this, hasn't checked if it's ok or run it past you.

How do you feel about this?

OP posts:
Justbookedasummmerholiday · 11/11/2017 11:29

Hide under a table?

ArbitraryName · 11/11/2017 11:30

I’d feel totally fine because I know my FIL and he wouldn’t say anything awful in a speech. He’d probably just say something really sweet.

JoyceDivision · 11/11/2017 11:31

Think he wants to make a speech as per father of other person getting married, and why not? If it's kind and not outrageous, go for it.

BeanoNoir · 11/11/2017 11:31

Was he due to do a speech at all, or just not at that time? More info needed I think

BeetrootTart · 11/11/2017 11:31

I'm anti-speech so I'd feel embarrassed. What did he say...?

Witsender · 11/11/2017 11:32

As long as it was an appropriate speech I wouldn't have minded at all. He would be my husband's father after all, and I would prefer a more relaxed feel anyway.

DelphiniumBlue · 11/11/2017 11:32

Depends what he said.
Had you asked him previously if he wanted to make a speech? Did DH know?

MayFayner · 11/11/2017 11:33

I'd think it was bloody rude as the next person to make a speech would be displaced.

Also I'd worry that an impromptu speech was a result of too much vino and go knows what he was going to come out with.

notacooldad · 11/11/2017 11:34

Assuming it was a nice speech I would be happy.
I would just go with the flow and carry on enjoying the day. Isn't that what weddings are supposed to be about?

Skittlesandbeer · 11/11/2017 11:34

Depends on the FIL, depends on the speech. Mostly depends on his level of inebriation.

Could be sweet, spontaneous and a wonderful surprise that is remembered fondly at each anniversary.

Could be grounds for a (very) quickie divorce.

Ohdearducks · 11/11/2017 11:35

I honestly wouldn’t care about this, was there some sort of negative impact that has caused problems?

PaperdollCartoon · 11/11/2017 11:35

If it was my FIL I’d be pleased, I like him more than my Dad and he’d say something lovely. But I’m pretty sure he’d say in advance if he wanted to do a speech, or wait for me to ask him.

I think the context of this particular FIL is important.

MatildaTheCat · 11/11/2017 11:36

He should have mentioned it and asked permission. Was it a spur of the moment thing or pre written?

However, unless he said or did something offensive or embarrassing I’d not stress, it’s a lovely occasion and getting upset about a speech seems a bit pointless.

BarbarianMum · 11/11/2017 11:37

It wouldn't even occur to me to care because im really not big on wedding ettiquette. Whether it was a problem or not depended on what he had to say.

quickopinionsplease · 11/11/2017 11:37

Nobody knew. He wasn’t due to make a speech.

OP posts:
quickopinionsplease · 11/11/2017 11:37

It was pre-written!

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 11/11/2017 11:38

But do you have a problem with what he said?

Piglet208 · 11/11/2017 11:38

Was it a kind speech? As long as he said nice things I don't think it matters.

toolonglurking · 11/11/2017 11:38

Was it a nice speech though?

VioletCharlotte · 11/11/2017 11:39

How I'd feel depends on the content. Was it a nice speech. If so, i'dbe surprised, but delighted he'd made the effort.

Squeegle · 11/11/2017 11:39

Was the speech ok? It’s a bit odd, but is it worth falling out over at such a happy time?

mogulfield · 11/11/2017 11:40

Depends, do you like your fil? Was it appropriate for the occasion and audience? If he said lovely things I wouldn’t mind at all.

Everythingsr0sie · 11/11/2017 11:40

I would think it very sweet and be chuffed (am assuming it was nice!)

MayFayner · 11/11/2017 11:41

He can't have said anything too bad or your OP would be about the content of the speech rather than the fact he made a speech, I reckon.

swansong81 · 11/11/2017 11:41

I would say there are bigger problems in the world

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