To ask how you'd respond to your FIL making an unannounced speech at your wedding?

[quickopinionsplease]

As per the title really

So there you are at your wedding breakfast, formal affair, it's speech time.

You all know the running order, you're all a bit nervous because you've been working on your speech.

And then in the middle of it all, FIL stands up to make a speech. You aren't sure what's going on.

He hasn't told you about this, hasn't checked if it's ok or run it past you.

How do you feel about this?

Luckily my FIL is a lovely man so I'd have welcomed it!

When organising the wedding was he asked if he wanted to make a speech / invited to make one? Or was he not thought about?

This would be normal at weddings/parties I've been to. I didn't know that you had to ask permission to make a speech. As long as he didn't say anything that you would object to why is it a problem?

I don't think I'd mind at all, it's nice of him.

So long as nothing embaressing was said Id be fine with it. My MIL made an unannounced speech, apart from the fact that every speech seemed to be thanking everyone it didnt bother me at all. At least half the 'audience' were her family or know her well and know what she's like anyway

Did no one ask him if he wanted to do a speech? Maybe he felt left out.

My parents died many years before my wedding and I asked my FIL to make a speech for both of us, as my beloved uncle who walked me down the aisle wasn't able to for many reasons. So I was perfectly happy about it. Is there something going on here for you, other than the impromptu aspect?

I'd think how lovely unless the content wasn't favourable, in which case I'd be most upset.

I think that unless he said something inappropriate, rude, or unkind, he has as much right to speak as the father of the bride does and it's controlling and extreme to get het up about it just because it wasn't pre-vetted.

Mine did this. Unplanned, no notes, felt like he wanted a bit of attention.
He did it just before the Best Man’s speech and then ruined the BM’s speech by shouting out the punchline to his big joke.
Thankfully we see them once a year.

I’d think it was a nice gesture .. providing he didn’t say anything bad.

I think it's lovely. He's father of the groom presumably. Weddings often aren't traditional these days anyway.

Idk the context. However, I would think that you should have talked to him about speaking first. Not the other way round. Just because it isn’t tradition for the FOG to speak, it doesn’t mean he may not speak.

Was it a nice speech? Did he have kind sentiments to share? I can see your irritation, but I think you have to judge him on his intentions and the end result.

But what happened? What has led to you posting this?

Don't drip feed please OP.

I think you need consider that he assumed he would get to make a speech as he is the father of one of the participant in which case you probably really hurt his feelings by never asking him.

He did what he did presumably because he had something loving to say. Be grateful and tell him it was wonderful.

Why does it matter if he gave a normal nice speech loads of people do these days it’s intended to be pleasant.

Unless your going to now jump in and say he called you a cunt

I'd have been , but what can you do? Hiss at him to sit down or rugby tackle him? How was the speech?

How bizarre he wasn’t asked to give a speech.
Most men I know certainly are not familiar with wedding rules and planning.
Probably thought all the speeches were impromptu.

I probably wouldn't rugby tackle him or anything, but I'd be eye-rolling privately to myself about it if he was holding up everyone's food. Might or might not say something to him afterwards, depending on whether he meant well with it or had prior form for being attention-seeking.

If it was a lovely speech and he really wanted to surprise you both by saying something heartfelt then i think it is fine. If he was drunk and obnoxious and said vile things then that's obviously different. Which was it?

My FIL did this. It was lovely, really sweet. Can’t see why there’s be an issue to be honest.

I’d be annoyed as it could ruin the timings of the wedding. Depending on the venue they might have started bringing meals out at the end of the ‘last’ speech etc.
I’d also wonder why he didn’t just mention to anyone that he wanted to do a speech and then it could be added into the running order.