Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this unreasonable punishment from Teacher of 5 year old?

573 replies

sharond101 · 14/09/2017 21:52

DS is 5. He has never been in trouble before, not really but there was incident at school yesterday and a boy told him to pull down a little girl's pants which he did and she told the Teacher. He had his picture put on a dark cloud on the wall and given Time Out which meant yesterday and today he spent playtime in the class without adult supervision drawing pictures whilst the other children played outdoors. What has really annoyed me though is that when the Teacher returned after breaktime she took his picture off him and put it in the bin. He is very upset. Says he doesn't want to go to school and that she (teacher) shouts all the time.

OP posts:
Toomuchocolate · 14/09/2017 21:55

The first part was fair enough, but no supervision isn't ok. Throwing the picture in the bin is cruel, so definitely not ok. I would complain about that, if she's that kind of person, she shouldn't be working with children.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 14/09/2017 21:55

Oh tricky one
Schools rightly come down very hard on this kind of stuff

Why not try to back up the school on this one so he learns he cannot do this - even though he doesn't probably realise the gravity of it - it's not on

See it as a lessons learned and move on ?

Imagine how the parents of the little girl feel ?

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 14/09/2017 21:56

And watch and wait with this teacher too

TheSockGoblin · 14/09/2017 21:57

And how have you dealt with this incident at home?

Ca55andraMortmain · 14/09/2017 21:57

Im a teacher and would definitely take an incident like this seriously, regardless of whether someone else had 'told him to do it.' I think putting his name on the cloud and the time out were fair sanctions although I'd probably only have kept him in one play time at that age. I wouldn't be happy at him not being supervised though, if you're sure that's the case (I have kept an eye on a child in the classroom while I've been in the atrium space working - the child wouldn't necessarily know I was there but they wouldn't be unsupervised.). Throwing his picture in the bin in front of him is just mean though and totally unnecessary. To be honest though, if this was my child I probably wouldn't show him overly much outward sympathy and would be fairly brisk in reminding him about the pants rule and people's privacy and personal space.

ForalltheSaints · 14/09/2017 21:57

Would be considered too soft at Great Yarmouth Academy!

JKR123 · 14/09/2017 21:58

The punishment seems fair enough to me but taking his picture off him and putting it in the bin was just plain nasty. What a cow - yes I would complain.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 14/09/2017 21:58

Why not try to back up the school on this one so he learns he cannot do this - even though he doesn't probably realise the gravity of it - it's not on

I agree.

It's completely wrong and schools will come down 'heavy' on it.

opheliacat · 14/09/2017 21:59

Unacceptable from your son. Move on now though.

MaisyPops · 14/09/2017 21:59

Tough call but I would err on the teacher's side here. Personally, I'd not bin a child's picture in front of them but if it was just some little doodles during break then it's not thr same as his art work. Think about how the poor girl who had the boys daring each other to pull hwr pants down feels

I would advise caution that now he's been in trouble suddenly the teacher shouts all the time. I still have secondary studenta talk about the time I 'yelled' at the class. I didn't yell at all. I'd let the well behaved ones go and bollocked the rest in a firm authoritative tone. Zero shouting required.

Original poster
sharond101 · 14/09/2017 22:00

I agree it was wrong what he did and I'd be mad if I was the little girl's parents. He has definitely learned his lesson but he is only 5 so my heart breaks for him as I think of him sitting all alone in a room whilst the others play then being all pleased with his drawing for it to be thrown in the bin. He has only been at school 2 weeks, don't think will boost his confidence!

OP posts:
NotTheDuchessOfCambridge · 14/09/2017 22:00

It is wrong but he's 5 years old! If he keeps doing it then I say come down on him but if it's a one off then what he's been given seems fine. She was mean to throw his picture in the bin, there was no need for that.

AuntLydia · 14/09/2017 22:01

I'd be a bit sceptical if my kids came home telling me this tale of their terrible punishment. What he did was really unpleasant and when kids behave badly like that they sometimes try and garner their parents sympathy so they don't get into too much trouble. Worth a chat with the teacher, sure but I'd hold off on complaining until you get their version.

Starlighter · 14/09/2017 22:03

It's such a difficult one.

On one hand, they need to nip this kind of stuff in the bud, it's not on and that poor little girl must've been mortified.

But he's only 5! He has no idea of the seriousness of what he's done, he was just playing.

Chucking his picture in the bin was unnecessary and cruel though. I'm not sure I would approach the school in this situation though given the circumstances... I'd be on the look out for further unreasonable behaviour from the teacher though and would bring this incident up if anything else happened.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 14/09/2017 22:03

What was the drawing of?

iamyourequal · 14/09/2017 22:04

It was cruel of the teacher to throw the picture in the bin. Far too harsh and nasty. To be honest though, your tone seems you are making light of this. How do you think the little girl and her parents are feeling?

opheliacat · 14/09/2017 22:04

Well yes, he is 5 and aww he didn't know what he was doing... but he did, didn't he? Okay, he didn't know the wider issues around this sort of action but it was designed to humilate and upset another child. For that reason alone, I'd take it seriously and I'm normally very easy going,

MaisyPops · 14/09/2017 22:05

He has definitely learned his lesson but he is only 5 so my heart breaks for him as I think of him sitting all alone in a room whilst the others play then being all pleased with his drawing for it to be thrown in the bin.
Tough luck to me. Sanctions aren't meant to be nice. Misbehave and you lose the right to play with other childre .
I wouldn't have thrown the drawing in the bin in front of him (i'd have probably taken it from him though). This isn't some prolonged piece of art. It's some 5 year old doodles at play time.

He has only been at school 2 weeks, don't think will boost his confidence
You've lost me on that one OP.
He pulled a girl's pants down and has been told off. It's not some traumatic experience. With any luck as you say, he has learnt his lesson and won't be quick to do it agaon.

iamyourequal · 14/09/2017 22:06

Crossed posts. You have responded. Hopefully you can all draw a line and move on now.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 14/09/2017 22:06

I was going to ask what the drawing was of too.

I would speak to the teacher and ask if he really was left unsupervised- that would not be allowed in any school I have worked in.

MsJudgemental · 14/09/2017 22:07

He will not have been unsupervised- someone will have been working nearby and keeping an eye on him. His 'artwork' may have just been some doodles which the teacher put in recycling. Does he understand the gravity of what he did? What have you said to him about it? How would you feel if it was your daughter who had had her knickers pulled down by a classmate?

MadMags · 14/09/2017 22:08

Don't see him as too much of a victim, and definitely don't encourage self-pity!

If you move on, he'll move on.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 14/09/2017 22:09

He has only been at school 2 weeks, don't think will boost his confidence!

I don't imagine it will have done the little girls confidence much food either.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 14/09/2017 22:09

*good

Threenme · 14/09/2017 22:09

Op I'm going against the grain here at my school both parents would have been spoken to, the little girls for obvious reasons- it was being dealt with etc. Your ds so you could explain as well as school why not ok. He wouldn't have missed any play times and it would have been explained firmly why it's not ok and mustn't happen again. This is a five year old he needs and explanation not punishment. The picture thing is vile and a teacher would be in bother for that!