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Original poster

Should I tell DD about Father Christmas before starting secondary school?

200 replies

keepingonrunning · 16/08/2017 19:01

And if so, how?
I am very happy that DD has got to this age while still being a passionate believer.
However she relies on me to be utterly truthful with her after trust/honesty let-downs with others close to her. Once or twice recently she asked me directly and I fudged an answer.
I don't want her to be a laughing stock at secondary school but I also know she will be heartbroken. Ruining her Christmas magic spell forever would always sit on my conscience.
Her ears are closed to playground rumours!
WWYD?

OP posts:
Nomoreboomandbust · 16/08/2017 19:01

Don't be bloody ridiculous

Original poster
keepingonrunning · 16/08/2017 19:02
Grin
OP posts:
lightgreenglass · 16/08/2017 19:03

I would. My BF started secondary and didn't know. She got ripped to pieces.

PosyBear · 16/08/2017 19:03

Goodness sake! Tell her.
I know it's hard. I had to do the same thing. But just have the chat.

flissfloss65 · 16/08/2017 19:04

I know my son stopped believing aged about 8 But he still goes along with the idea just t to humour me!

SerfTerf · 16/08/2017 19:05

Yes.

Why did you fudge when asked? You've complicated it for yourself there 🙄😄Maybe just bring that back up again in a "You know when you asked me about Father Christmas? Well I have a confession..." way?

Edsheeranalbumparty · 16/08/2017 19:05

Is she starting secondary school as in next month?

Surely by then it's no longer 'playground rumours' about FC not being real, it's just a given?

I think you should tell her. Definitely.

trinity0097 · 16/08/2017 19:05

I don't believe she has got to the end of primary school without knowing, unless you have been home educating her?!

Fresh8008 · 16/08/2017 19:05

She will get ripped to pieces if her new friends find out she believes in Santa. If you leave it for 12 year olds to tell her she might think even worse of you for lying to her for so long when everyone else her age will already know. Get her dad to tell her.

peaceloveandbiscuits · 16/08/2017 19:06

In my experience, children know and play along in order to get presents. So I wouldn't get too worked up about ruining Christmas for her.

SkyWalker95 · 16/08/2017 19:06

Unless she has learning difficulties she already knows. No way she doesn't. She just loves Christmas or getting extra presents or loves your reaction.

coriliavijvaad · 16/08/2017 19:06

You can keep the magic going by involving her in the magic.

Father Christmas is real, because Father Christmas lives in every person who finds out that there is more joy in giving than receiving, and chooses to give anonymously in order to maximise that joy.

Then find ways for her to start making anonymous gifts to experience that joy herself.

GherkinSnatch · 16/08/2017 19:06

Yes tell her! You should have told her when she outright asked the first time. FC isn't what makes Christmas magical etc

viques · 16/08/2017 19:06

If she relies on you to be truthful and you are "fudging" answers about Father Christmas then I am not surprised she has trust issues. Poor kid, show her some respect by treating her with honesty.

AngeloftheSouth84 · 16/08/2017 19:07

Are you trying to imply there's no such thing as Father Christmas? Don't be daft!

UserX · 16/08/2017 19:07

However she relies on me to be utterly truthful with her

Well that'll be out the window then won't it?!?

You could try telling her she's old enough to be in on the secret & help to create the magic for the little ones, that might soften it a bit.

NovaArt3mis · 16/08/2017 19:07

It's possible she knows. I realised around 8 but played along for a few more years as it felt more magical and I didn't want to make my mum sad!

Anasnake · 16/08/2017 19:07

You're going to have to 'ruin her Christmas magic spell' at some point - it's called growing up. She'll be a teenager before you know it and yes, the other kids may take the piss. I'm a teacher and have seen this happen a few times.

Original poster
keepingonrunning · 16/08/2017 19:07

Thank you for your opinions.
I guess I know I have to do it. I'm just not looking forward to feeling shit afterwards.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 16/08/2017 19:08

Yes, tell her. But in a way that doesn't make you look like a liar. Got younger children?

I'd say something like 'your old enough now to know that we keep the magic going for the younger ones.' Or 'only those who still believe get gifts' big Wink 😉

BikeRunSki · 16/08/2017 19:08

My brother is a secondary school teacher, and also makes "father christmas" phone calls to my DC in December. DS is nearly 9 now, and DBro has said that we need to tell DS the truth before he starts secondary school because he will be ripped to shreds otherwise*. I think DS is beginning the suspect the feasibility of Father C of his own accord though.

*NB this is the same man who told me when I was about 7 though (he is 10 years older than me).

Moonshine86 · 16/08/2017 19:08

As a teacher I have first hand dealt with a sobbing year 7 student who had at the end of my lesson been told F c is not real.

Please tell her X

BackieJerkhart · 16/08/2017 19:09

Tell her what about Father Christmas? He's ok isn't he? He isn't sick? Shock

Catsize · 16/08/2017 19:10

He's not real??? 😳😥 🎄

SerfTerf · 16/08/2017 19:10

Growing up is positive.

Secondary school is exciting.

Don't baby growing pre-teens.

If you've "accidentally" lied, apologise and explain you got carried away with myth and magic (I can't think of a better excuse).

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