Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL trying to rename my baby...

262 replies

JonSnowsWhore · 30/05/2017 20:30

I need to know if it's just me or if I'm justified in how fucking fuming I am...

Had baby Wednesday morning, we had decided on his name before he was born & i added a middle name that meant something to me so of course my OH could also pick one if he wanted. He didn't come up with anything.
Say the name we picked was Harry James surname.
Today, in the car on our way to register the baby, his mum is on the phone to him, he's being very quiet so I guess it's something he doesn't want me to know about. Next thing I know when we've got out the car I've got texts on my from from her saying naming the baby is a big thing & please don't rush into anything, also please let my OH have an input as it's important. That she's spoken to OH's dad, & rest of the family, and they all agree that Christopher Harry Jack surname is a lovely name & we should consider it!!!

This name has literally never been mentioned by either of us before & I still have no idea where it came from or why the hell they as a family are sitting there discussing what mine & my OH's baby's name should be when he's already here & had that name for 6 days!
Now he's ended up with Christopher as a random bloody middle name, which would have been fine if I'd was my OH's choice but I know it's not, I know it's hers!

OP posts:
Mooey89 · 30/05/2017 20:33

Noooo YANBU!
Congratulations on your new baby.

Mysteriouscurle · 30/05/2017 20:33

No advice but I would be fuming. And probably having as little contact as possible with her

gillybeanz · 30/05/2017 20:34

Why did you add a name you didn't want to?
I think everyone in mine and dh had some comment about what name we should choose, we didn't listen to anyone and decided for ourselves as the parents what we called our dc.
Why didn't you and dh just say no we don't like Christopher?

stella23 · 30/05/2017 20:34

You can go back and change it. Did you text her back? Can you text her back something along the lines of. While your appreciate her interest it is up to you and dh what you call baby, dh obviously was involved and had lots of input in the name so her text was highly unnecessary and un wanted

DoItTooJulia · 30/05/2017 20:34

No one will use that third name. He will use it on official forms and that's it.

It feels really important now, but it won't be for long. Honestly.

But beware of this meddling. It's likely to be the way of the future so the two of you need to show a united front.

Congrats on the new baby.

Friendlylightupbear · 30/05/2017 20:35

YANBU, i would be furious!

Congratulations on your little one Flowers

dinosaursandtea · 30/05/2017 20:35

Like fuck has she spoken to the family! This is all her. Ugh. Don't give it to him and make her back off.

OnTheRise · 30/05/2017 20:35

What does your OH think of the name the two of you have chosen together? If he's happy with it then text her back and tell her you like the name your baby has, thanks, and are not going to discuss this anymore.

timeforheroes · 30/05/2017 20:35

What did your OH say about it? Did you ask why he wanted Christopher?

Just out of curiosity did the registrar say anything about the amount of names? When we got DS1 registered the registrar (is that what they are?) actually moaned about parents that give more than one middle name. DS1 has 2 middle names, it's the norm in my heritage. At the time I was too shocked to say anything, now I wish I'd told him to mind his own business. I get that some people think middle names are redundant (DH included) but not really his place to comment surely.

LouHotel · 30/05/2017 20:37

I would just be careful that the middle name doesnt become his nickname. To the point i would tell her you got it changed.

Yanbu.

ItsAYesFromMe · 30/05/2017 20:38

I would be fuming too but can you change it without upsetting DH?
When we had decided on DC3's name we texted family and FIL texted me back saying 'what about Katie instead?'
WTF??

monkeytoad35 · 30/05/2017 20:38

Two words for your MIL.....fuck off!

YADNBU!

Congratulations BTW!

dontbesillyhenry · 30/05/2017 20:38

My MIL kept calling my newborn Charlie. It really upset me as if the name we chosen (which his brother chose) wasnt to her liking. I told DH to tell her to wind her neck in or I would start calling her the name I thought suited her best- which also started with a C

Justmuddlingalong · 30/05/2017 20:39

Your DP should be shielding you from his batshit, crazy mother. You had a baby last week FFS! Tell him to deal with her because you refuse to engage. Flowers Congratulations.

MooPointCowsOpinion · 30/05/2017 20:40

YANBU and you need to draw a boundary here quickly. Considering you just grew and pushed out a human, your DP should be drawing the line and keeping these wolves at bay. It's his mother, not yours, so his problem, not yours.

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 30/05/2017 20:40

I asked why Christopher & he came out with some crap about it being his cousins name... I haven't heard of such cousin, but he is Greek with family all over so it's not impossible. But I know he only stuck with wanting it put in just to please her. If it was his choice then I'd have no worries about adding it but I know it's not. It was all sprung on me on the way to the registry office so it was either go with it or sit there & argue infront of the registrar Hmm the only thing that got me through it was knowing you can change it up to a year old Grin

I know what everyone is going to say, he should have stood up to her etc & believe me we've had a big argument about exactly this! So what was meant to be a nice day, our first day out with the baby, registering him, doing a bit of shopping, going for lunch etc ended up ruined, as we jus argued & went home thanks to her sticking her oar in. & yes I did bloody well text her back

OP posts:
Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 30/05/2017 20:42

Dontbesilly that absolutely cracked me up 😂

OP posts:
Ratatatouille · 30/05/2017 20:42

YANBU. I'd go back and change it - you've still got time. It'll bug you forever otherwise because you'll know she stuck her oar in.

What about your DH in all of this? How did she come off the phone to him under the impression that he hadn't had a say? That looks like he didn't have your back. If my MIL sent me that text, I wouldn't have chance to think of a reply because DH would go bloody spare and immediately tell her to get her nose out. Why hasn't your DH put her right?

Ratatatouille · 30/05/2017 20:43

Cross post!

peekyboo · 30/05/2017 20:43

I think you can go and change it without any problem if it's within a certain time limit?
Think about it, talk it over, let him decide how much it means to him really, let yourself decide I'd it's going to be a thorn in your side every time you have to write it down somewhere - then go back and change if necessary.

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 30/05/2017 20:43

He's far too much of a people pleaser, likes to keep the peace but I bloody well told him to stand up for himself! Or at least bloody well stand up for me when I've just had his fucking baby!

OP posts:
peekyboo · 30/05/2017 20:45

And of course MIL's timing was perfect, waiting til you were on your way and had no chance to discuss it properly.

Mamaily · 30/05/2017 20:45

My MIL also did the same to use. She insisted, she even angry and ran away from home for a few days when DH says didnt want to change our baby name. My MIL is such a drama queen.

Then my DH agree to add that my MIL chosen name as a middle name.

I was agree at first but I am fine now. Its not a big deal now. We all call my DS the name that I wanted which is his first name.

I know you are very angry, but trust me it will pass. And congratulations for the baby

Spadequeen · 30/05/2017 20:45

I would be changing that name right now. Yanbu

Fluffyears · 30/05/2017 20:46

I would have texted 'eew no thanks that's s hideous name! We'll stick with what we decided on'

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.