MIL trying to rename my baby...

[JonSnowsWhore]

I need to know if it's just me or if I'm justified in how fucking fuming I am...

Had baby Wednesday morning, we had decided on his name before he was born & i added a middle name that meant something to me so of course my OH could also pick one if he wanted. He didn't come up with anything.
Say the name we picked was Harry James surname.
Today, in the car on our way to register the baby, his mum is on the phone to him, he's being very quiet so I guess it's something he doesn't want me to know about. Next thing I know when we've got out the car I've got texts on my from from her saying naming the baby is a big thing & please don't rush into anything, also please let my OH have an input as it's important. That she's spoken to OH's dad, & rest of the family, and they all agree that Christopher Harry Jack surname is a lovely name & we should consider it!!!

This name has literally never been mentioned by either of us before & I still have no idea where it came from or why the hell they as a family are sitting there discussing what mine & my OH's baby's name should be when he's already here & had that name for 6 days!
Now he's ended up with Christopher as a random bloody middle name, which would have been fine if I'd was my OH's choice but I know it's not, I know it's hers!

If you change it and it is always on the birth certificate as a correction it would always remind you of the upset. If it was me I would just ignore it, a second middle name is generally ignored anyway.

As to who does that, well in my experience lots of people particularly grandmothers. Everyone has an opinion, it drove me mad.

Sorry, repeated myself a bit there.

It's done now but she's been totally out of order and completely inappropriately rude and demanding.

By giving your son the name she's wanted she's learning she gets s say in his upbringing imo, definitely needs knocking on the head.

I'd like to think if it was me I'd have a conversation with her along the lines of asking her if her mil had done that to her after the birth of dh how would she have felt.

Also a reminder she has had her child and that it's now you and dh's turn and although you are open to her advice, interference and manipulation is not on.

Unhealthy boundaries, a sign of what's to come if it's not sorted now.

Enjoy your lovely new baby

I have 3 names (4 if you include my confirmation name) and only use the first 2.

Teach your son to ignore the last one.

Harley Jack is nice, quite funky and rolls off the tongue, Christopher however just doesn't belong in there. I agree with PP, she's going to start calling him that.

I think I'd have just replied 'gooooooooooo fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkk yourselllllllllllllllllf' then blamed it on the hormones and named him your original choice.

What an absolute wagon. YADNBU. I second the comments that you should just call her a different name, might I suggest the classic, vintage 'Fanny'?

Congratulations. You have been randomly selected for the prize of fucking mental mother in law. No refunds or exchange for cash value.

AuditAngel, my husband is the same 3 names plus confirmation name and only uses the first two. He hates the second middle name. Imagine my surprise when he suggested as we walked into the registrar's office that we use it for our son's middle name. I nearly dropped the baby, why would he want to use a name he hates. Names seem to send people a bit loopy when babies are born.

I would not have budged on the name after that, no way. Now she's going to be so smug because shes got what she wanted.

My mil tried something similar... Had dd, gave her a long name with lots of nicknames available (think Victoria) we introduced her using the typical shortening of her long name (Vicky) but mil screwed her face up at it saying she preferred another shortening (lets say Tori). We asked her not to use that as it isn't dd's name and she can chose how/ if she shortens the long version when shes older.

Mil texts her family and work friends introducing dd as 'tori' and sends out thank you cards and birth announcement cards with the name 'tori' on them.

She does not have any contact with my child.

*not real name used

Tried talking to him about it, telling him that it felt a bit like I was backed into a corner not given any time to discuss it, ended up in an argument, not sure if he's gone to bed or is getting ready to go out. Arsehole

No way, I'd be changing that right now!

I dated a Greek Cypriot for a while called Steve and once we were in a restaurant and he said "if you have a baby boy (eg his son) he'll be called Andreas as all male boys on our family are".

I looked at him like . Reader, we didn't last not for just that reason!

We had the opposite problem. MIL insisted that no one in her family ie
Immediate family despite her having a middle herself! Stupidly I
Went along it despite my family all having at least two middle names. However comprised and changed DC name within the year. To this day I don't know if MIL knows.
Don't dare give in as it's thin edge of the wedge and now like startutopia
we are nc with MIL.

SuperFly, I had exactly the same conversation several times with my ex-h, not Greek.

Ex: 'If we have a boy, we'll call him Judas because all the men in my family are called Judas.' (Judas is not the real name, obviously )
Me: 'But I hate the name Judas. There's no way I would ever call one of my children that.'
Ex: 'It's a family tradition. It would really upset my parents if we didn't use it. We're going to call him Judas.'
Me: 'Clearly your parents are not that sold on Judas since they didn't call you [their only child] Judas.'

SuperFly, I had exactly the same conversation several times with my ex-h, not Greek.

Ex: 'If we have a boy, we'll call him Judas because all the men in my family are called Judas.' (Judas is not the real name, obviously )
Me: 'But I hate the name Judas. There's no way I would ever call one of my children that.'
Ex: 'It's a family tradition. It would really upset my parents if we didn't use it. We're going to call him Judas.'
Me: 'Clearly your parents are not that sold on Judas since they didn't call you [their only child] Judas.'

*no one in immediate family had a middle name I mean

Cue a repeat performance every few months. Luckily we never had any boys. But there was no way they'd be getting the Judas name if we had.

I let him choose DD's middle name and it's awful. Unfortunately she wants to prove her loyalty, love etc. for him so she always insists on using her full name, including middle name.

She's going to be calling him Christopher, OP. And she'll justify by saying its "technically" his name

What a joke! How has she come to the conclusion that it's acceptable to try and rename your baby?!

I would let the dust settle for a couple of days and then bring it up again with your DP, tell him you've tried to like it but you can't.

YANBU but as a second middle name I don't think it matters much, and if it keeps the peace then it's probably better to pick your battles.

Ended in an argument?

He should be down on his knees apologising for causing you so much distress- and letting his mother do this - when you've just given birth to your first baby. Such a special time and this has tainted it.

I'd be removing the name and not even letting him know - or at least, not letting him know until the day after his first birthday, if ever.

YANBU. This is yours and your dh's baby. Stick to your guns.
Your MIL had her day choosing names when she had her own children.
In fact I'd have to use the name out of spite

Your husband should have stuck up for you. My MIL is not keen on my childrens names as they are named after people in my family, husband told her where to go as they had his familys surname and he loved names. To this day I still get irritated thinking of comments she made, especially since dh very much had equal say. Change name as im sure it will irritate unless your partner actually has a real reason for wanting name and can explain why not mentioned before

And I'd be telling PIL that I'm afraid that they are going to have to wait a bit to see the baby as I'm just too upset with it all right now.

Congratulations, BTW

Adding another voice the majority here, go back and change your boy's name to what you originally decided. Do it on your own if necessary. Otherwise MIL is set on this path for the future. Pull the rug out from under her now. As for your DH, this is yet another time where a DH needs a lecture on where his loyalties lie and where his support is necessary and expected. If he's a man and not an oversized child, his wife always comes first. And congratulations on your son. :-)