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Original poster

MIL trying to rename my baby...

262 replies

JonSnowsWhore · 30/05/2017 20:30

I need to know if it's just me or if I'm justified in how fucking fuming I am...

Had baby Wednesday morning, we had decided on his name before he was born & i added a middle name that meant something to me so of course my OH could also pick one if he wanted. He didn't come up with anything.
Say the name we picked was Harry James surname.
Today, in the car on our way to register the baby, his mum is on the phone to him, he's being very quiet so I guess it's something he doesn't want me to know about. Next thing I know when we've got out the car I've got texts on my from from her saying naming the baby is a big thing & please don't rush into anything, also please let my OH have an input as it's important. That she's spoken to OH's dad, & rest of the family, and they all agree that Christopher Harry Jack surname is a lovely name & we should consider it!!!

This name has literally never been mentioned by either of us before & I still have no idea where it came from or why the hell they as a family are sitting there discussing what mine & my OH's baby's name should be when he's already here & had that name for 6 days!
Now he's ended up with Christopher as a random bloody middle name, which would have been fine if I'd was my OH's choice but I know it's not, I know it's hers!

OP posts:
LittleBeautyBelle · 30/05/2017 21:16

Pick all the names yourself before allowing mil to have any say whatsoever as if she is in your place naming your own baby.

NO WAY!!!!!!! I'm telling you, she won't stop with the name. Your husband needs a lesson real quick about who to grovel to, and it's not his mama.

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 30/05/2017 21:16

I would definitely re-register him. You've basically gave MIL an inch, the fun will start here if you don't put a stop to it all.

AcrossthePond55 · 30/05/2017 21:17

I'm assuming from your post that "Harry Jack Christopher" isn't the real name.

Is the name they chose a Greek name and it's just that they wanted him to have his Greek heritage 'in there'? Like "Harry Jack Anastassios" or something? It just seems weird to use some random cousin's name.

mylaptopismylapdog · 30/05/2017 21:17

Congratulations.YADNBU. I would change it he is your son not hers! I would also watch her like her like a hawk as my guess is she won't stop at this.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 30/05/2017 21:17

Good for you, might give her food for thought. But your DH needs to stand up to her as well.

happypoobum · 30/05/2017 21:18

Fuck this for a game of soldiers!

I would go back on my own and change it to what you originally agreed. Tell him in a year or twenty

And have a big think about drawing some clear boundaries with MIL Flowers

LittleBeautyBelle · 30/05/2017 21:18

It appears some on this thread have had no experience with manipulative mils and it is very clear you have one of those, op. Do not listen to the people telling you to let mil name your baby. That is outrageous. Stop it now, nip it in the bud or you will really have a headache to deal with your whole life.

inlectorecumbit · 30/05/2017 21:18

Change it.
No need to tell her you have done so until it comes up in conversation.
Tell your DH to grow a backbone.

cherish123 · 30/05/2017 21:18

Not sure why you changed from Harry James (lovely names). There is nothing wrong with Christopher but it is your choice and OH's choice. She had her chance to name her child/children all these years ago.

SquinkiesRule · 30/05/2017 21:19

My MIL is bat shit crazy, she pulled a face at Ds1's name, we chose it the night before he was born, said it sounded like a big dogs name, we used it, she got over it.
Forget the name you don't like use the ones you do like and chalk it up as something not to be repeated with the next baby.

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 30/05/2017 21:22

@AcrossthePond55 nope not a Greek name, Christopher is the actual name she suggested. Yes Harry James isn't the real name, I don't know why I changed it on here I haven't got anything to hide, he was going to be called Harley Jack surname, she text me saying the family think Christopher Harley Jack surname should be considered!
So now he's Harley Jack Christopher surname, so she's got her name in there some how even if not as the first name!

OP posts:
Mellifera · 30/05/2017 21:24

Ah. DH's yiayia was the coolest person ever (visited her in Greece before she died, at 93, still living on her own). She adored tall women - she was tiny - so I was instantly in her good books 😀 even though my Greek was rubbish.

Your DH needs to support you though, it's not on to walk all over your boundaries.

FatOldBag · 30/05/2017 21:25

I'm not gonna lie we had an argument about it in the car & I shouted so loud about it that a bit of wee came out
Of him, or you? Haha.

Bluntness100 · 30/05/2017 21:26

That's beyond outrageous. I can't believe she would try to name your baby, who does that?

Congrats though 😁

Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 30/05/2017 21:26

Of me unfortunately 😂 maybe him too, I can be pretty mental

OP posts:
Original poster
JonSnowsWhore · 30/05/2017 21:27

That's literally all I've said all day, 'who does that??'

OP posts:
givemethecake · 30/05/2017 21:27

Christopher really doesn't sound good with the name might be because I just hate the name but please take it out for your own sake.

Mellifera · 30/05/2017 21:27

You know she'll call him Christopher if you don't change it.

bailz · 30/05/2017 21:28

You need to speak to her and tell her that that was inappropriate. I know you text her but you need to hammer this home so she fully understands that you will not be pushed around by her. Good luck

minisoksmakehardwork · 30/05/2017 21:28

Whilst adding names appears to be the done thing with dh and I in the registry office (dd1, ds1 and ds2!), they were still our choices to add.

In your case, your mil has made her mark on where she sees you, and to be fair dh to some extent, in relation to her grandson. What is done is done. However, your mil needs to be clear on where the boundaries are with regards to your son and both you and dh need to approach that together so you present a united front.

Cuppaoftea · 30/05/2017 21:29

Is it right you added the last minute suggestion as a second middle name?

If that's the case then I wouldn't re register him. Your baby has the first name and middle name you love.

timeisnotaline · 30/05/2017 21:29

I'd change it back tbh. And I'd be pretty pissed at my dh. Presumably it's his surname? If you are going to have another baby tell mil if there are any last minute baby name suggestions AFTER you have decided and let people know, the baby will have your maiden name as surname.

MrsABrown72 · 30/05/2017 21:30

I lost my DM just before I got pregnant with my DD and as a mark of respect I gave my daughter my mothers name as a middle name (timeless name). My MIL was upset that I had not given the poor girl her name as a first name - it is Vera. In 2010.
Not happening.

chocolateworshipper · 30/05/2017 21:30

Since lots of people have said that you still have time to change it, why not add another middle name: "mynanisbatshit"

grannytomine · 30/05/2017 21:30

I would just worry that if you have the name removed and it always shows as a correction on the birth certificate that will just remind you of the incident for ever.

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