MIL trying to rename my baby...

[JonSnowsWhore]

I need to know if it's just me or if I'm justified in how fucking fuming I am...

Had baby Wednesday morning, we had decided on his name before he was born & i added a middle name that meant something to me so of course my OH could also pick one if he wanted. He didn't come up with anything.
Say the name we picked was Harry James surname.
Today, in the car on our way to register the baby, his mum is on the phone to him, he's being very quiet so I guess it's something he doesn't want me to know about. Next thing I know when we've got out the car I've got texts on my from from her saying naming the baby is a big thing & please don't rush into anything, also please let my OH have an input as it's important. That she's spoken to OH's dad, & rest of the family, and they all agree that Christopher Harry Jack surname is a lovely name & we should consider it!!!

This name has literally never been mentioned by either of us before & I still have no idea where it came from or why the hell they as a family are sitting there discussing what mine & my OH's baby's name should be when he's already here & had that name for 6 days!
Now he's ended up with Christopher as a random bloody middle name, which would have been fine if I'd was my OH's choice but I know it's not, I know it's hers!

In my experience, Greeks don't have middle names, it's not the done thing in Greece, they only name babies for their grandparents, traditionally. We had to pay the priest at our daughter's Orthodox baptism huge sums of money to give her two middle names (after both our mothers) and to this day, it causes problems with her Greek identity card/passport!
Congratulations on your new baby, OP, enjoy him and try not to worry about his third name, it'll be ignored from now on!

REMOVE IT.

Seriously, it will rankle forever. How DARE she spoil that going to register your first baby moment?

I would sit down with your H and let him know exactly how you feel and that the name needs to be removed - firstly, you know full well it's not his choice and what he wanted - secondly, if it isn't gone you're going to hate a part of your first son's name and blame your MIL for it.

The name goes.

Yeah I'd get that changed asap. Start allowing her to get that involved at the start and you're lining yourself up for 18+ years of meddling.

Well this is maybe a useful event in a way.

You can see now that she's going to be a nightmare. Feel free to have a complete meltdown and scream at them to all fuck off and leave you alone and not spoil your first weeks with your baby or you will damn well refuse to see them.

What is the name?

I think I'm going to tell him that the birth certificate can still be changed & I want him to take some time & think of a middle name he actually wants, not one to please her. I know he'll stick with it though, to keep the peace. But I can only try.

I'm not gonna lie we had an argument about it in the car & I shouted so loud about it that a bit of wee came out 🙈

Greek MiL. Commiserations.

We had a similar scenario. When we talked about the tradition to name firstborn boy after paternal grandfather (tradition) we got as a reply "Oh no, you choose a name you like!"
After our DS was born we rang them and they asked his name, we told them. They didn't contact us for 6 weeks because we hadn't given him FIL's name.
Guess who went to register a middle name?

Tell your DH to man up immediately.

I would change it. It honestly will irritate you forever.

wind her neck in or I would start calling her the name I thought suited her best- which also started with a C

& to clarify the Greek thing, she is Greek but born & lived in this country all her life, so not really too traditional. & his yia yia had no problem with any of the name, she'd be the traditional one if anything!

So, who is Christopher? Some random cousin? A family hero? Or a name MIL wanted and didn't get?

If you have 6 months, I would let it settle down, then sit DH down and ask if it is honestly a name he wanted and why. And if not, change it to something he actually wants, or his as above. Tell him he deserves to name his own child without his DM. You don't need to tell her anything

We're in the process of moving house and our buyer's solicitor just cannot get my hubby's name right on any of the documentation because he has two middle names! They keep referring to him as 'middle name, middle name, surname' completely omitting his first name. His two middle names are actually his father's first and middle name. He hates having two middle names.

Whatever you do, try not to let MIL get her way with this. It's the beginning of a slippery slope otherwise.

Huge congratulations on your new son!

It amazes me how men can behave like dipshits so soon after watching their partner expel a melon sized human out of their body.

For godsake if there's ever a time to always side with your partner its when their still limping and pissing after every sneeze.

I still don't know who the fuck Christopher is 😂 help me, I'm too exhausted for all this shit

JonSnowsWhore have you told MIL you ahve used 'her' name?

Are you happy with it?

Is dh?

I think you can change it. Decide now if you want to change it to your choice of name.

It sounds like your MIL wants to shit stir. Tell her she will be stiring alone if she keeps this up!

timeforheroes you should have told the registrar it was none of their business what you named your baby (after they had completed the paper work).

OP if your dh had chosen a name, what would it have been? If nicer than Christopher, you could get that changed.

So your DH bullied you into it? He's the one you have a problem with, not MIL. I'd make a stand right now or this will set the tone for the rest of time with DS...

Yes as soon as we got out of there, there were texts on his phone asking what we went with so he told her. I really don't know what he would have chosen, because he never came up with anything. I did suggest his first name as it's his & his uncles name, but he didn't want that, so it's not like I was deliberately trying to exclude him.
Argh so annoyed with myself but what could I do when he's then standing there telling me it's his choice. Just so pissed off that she had the audacity to text me suggesting a completely new name that they'd all decided they liked

It amazes me how men can behave like dipshits so soon after watching their partner expel a melon sized human out of their body

I think too many of them think it is 'women's stuff' and stand by shuffling their feet and looking like a nervous lemon. Probably upbringing.

Change the name now, OP, or mil will be forever pushing the boundaries even further. This is way beyond boundaries anyway in my opinion. Whatever you do, do not allow the name she picked to be your son's name. Change it as soon as possible. Tomorrow. If you let her name your child (what!!?) this sets a precedent that your mil is in charge and not you. It is YOUR son, that you gave birth to, not her! Your husband is your husband, no longer to do his mother's bidding.

Do you understand how crucial it is for you to set the boundary right now, this instant? She will be a thorn in your side forever unless you stand up right now. I think it is outrageous what she is doing, the texts to you, telling you what to name your own child, and telling your husband what to do.

No, No, NO. She better mind her own business if she even expects to have a short visit once a year with your son. I would make it very clear and I would start by changing the name back. Do not cave into this manipulative person! I feel sorry for you if your husband is going to be groveling to his mama for all of your marriage. Make it clear today who is in the marriage and who is not.

Why do you believe his choice trumps yours, though, OP? He wanted one thing, you wanted another. Doesn't mean either of you are right, to be honest. I'd have told the registrar we would come back later when we'd had more time to discuss.

Firstly, congratulations on your new baby OP 💐
Harry James is a lovely name, it certainly doesn't need Christopher adding to it.
Rest easy, you can change it.

It is no one else's business to start suggesting new names for our baby when we've already decided! Especially on our way to our appointment! If Stephen wants an input I've never said he can't have one he just hasn't mentioned anything until now!

That's the message I sent back to her incase anyone was interested

Please start calling your mil a random name which is no relation to her and if questioned just say you prefer it.

I don't want to upset you but just thought this might be useful, a friend of mine changed her mind about her daughter's name after registration. She went back to change it but the original name was still on the long birth certificate, don't know about the short one. I don't know if this has changed but at the time, and it was maybe 40 years ago, they said the original name would always show on the long birth certificate. I don't know if this has changed but it might be worth finding out as it might influence what you do now.

I know how annoying this can be, my mother pulled a face about my eldest son's name, my MIL pulled a face about the youngest and she gave my daughter a nickname we didn't like. I always bear this in mind and I have never, ever, said anything other than "How lovely" about my GC's names although I wouldn't have chosen any of them. They grow on them and suit them and I can't imagine them being anything else now.

Remember he is your baby and a middle name will soon be forgotten.