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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect people not to leave there seats because I am fat

283 replies

DUFFDADDY1 · 28/03/2017 08:04

On numerous cases I get on a very busy train and I notice a vacant seat between two people, when I have done this I have had looks as if I have some contagious tropical disease. Or I have mega huffs and strange noises of discontent, or as happend today the person got up and stood until another seat was available . I am overweight, but you will catch it if I sit near you👹

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 28/03/2017 08:05

You're probably taking up some of their space too, making them cramped and uncomfortable.

PlayOnWurtz · 28/03/2017 08:06

It's probably more because you're encroaching on their personal space if you're of a size where you don't quite fit onto one seat.

ShotsFired · 28/03/2017 08:08

Well train seats aren't exactly known for being spacious, and the 3-seaters are more like 2.5.

So I think you are ascribing the huffing to you personally, when its probably just people pissed off they are being squashed up more than anyone wants in a space smaller than the occupants.

Nobody likes commuting on busy transport.

Lingotria · 28/03/2017 08:08

How overweight are you? Even when I was a size 18 I had no trouble sitting between people on the tube or train.

PotteringAlong · 28/03/2017 08:08

It's not about it catching, it's about the fact that when someone spills into your seat and invades your space it's uncomfortable. Some people don't like it.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 28/03/2017 08:10

That's the reason I'd move too. It wouldn't be personal. I might just feel uncomfortable if there wasn't enough space.

Twintowns · 28/03/2017 08:11

Saying this as gently as possible but, it's not 'catching fat' that people are huffing about. It's the fact very big people unknowingly encroach on other peoples space when they sit closely together, especially in a middle seat. Unfortunately you get 'spill' from the bigger person, that partly squashes whoever they are sitting next to.

PollyPerky · 28/03/2017 08:12

Is this a wind up?

The likelihood is ,, as others have said, that you are squashing them.

I'm very petite and when I sit on a 2-seat pair of seats (window side) I always end up with fat people sitting next to me because I take up about 2/3rds of a seat and they think they can spill onto mine, taking up 1 and 1/3rd seats.

I also notice that larger people always sit on an aisle seat (where there are 2 seats) taking up almost 2 seats, so that a tiny person like me has to ask to move past them to sit by the window.

Original poster
DUFFDADDY1 · 28/03/2017 08:13

I am a man so not too sure, 24?
So in answer to some comments, I may slightly encroach but I don't spill!

OP posts:
Cosmicglitterpug · 28/03/2017 08:13

I wouldn't move if a really overweight person sat next to me (as in they were touching me), but I'd want to. I really don't like being close to others on public transport.

sonjadog · 28/03/2017 08:14

It's not personal. No-one likes to share those three person seats with two other people.

sonjadog · 28/03/2017 08:15

Also, packed trains make everyone a bit miserable and likely to be grumpy.

PollyPerky · 28/03/2017 08:15

The 3-seat seats are for 3 average /small size people. I hate sitting in a 3-seat row anyway because it's just too tight a fit. If one person is fat and sits in the middle, it would be impossible for their thighs not to rub against mine or their arms /shoulders not touch.

I think you may underestimate the squash factor.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 28/03/2017 08:16

Do you sit with your legs wide apart though? That's another annoying way of taking up space.

I usually take up 2/3 of a seat too, so I tend to make sure my bag covers the other third.

ScarletForYa · 28/03/2017 08:16

Are you manspreading?

Encroaching is your answer btw. Also how is your personal hygiene?

Bluntness100 · 28/03/2017 08:16

Op, sounds like people are being very rude, however you need to contextualise your post, if indeed it's for real.

A large proportion of the population are overweight. Then a proportion of them are obese, and a proportion of those are morbidly obese .

The larger you are the less likely you are to be able to fit in a seat like this without physically touching the person next to you. And many people are uncomfortable with close bodily contact with a stranger.

If you do not fall into the obese /morbidly obese category then there is something else making them move. People don't give up train seats easily.

Crumbs1 · 28/03/2017 08:17

Large men (not specifically fat but 6 foot something's) often take up space too but seem to have a sense of entitlement, spreading legs out comfortably etc. People using laptops elbowing or with several bags also. I think it probably is a touch of nastiness towards fat people but mainly trains are overcrowded and seats are cramped.

Twodogsandahooch · 28/03/2017 08:17

Nothing to do with being contagious. I've had this today. Sat on the outer seat of three. A larger lady came and sat in the middle one. Simply not enough room for her. I'm now perched on the edge with a buttock dangling off.

TizzyDongue · 28/03/2017 08:17

Surely any person who is of a size that they take some of the seat, or seats, next to them is aware they do so?

Original poster
DUFFDADDY1 · 28/03/2017 08:17

WTF is this spillover into weightism? I have the same right as anyone else to sit . Due to paying for it.

OP posts:
Gallavich · 28/03/2017 08:18

I'd rather stand than be squashed up against someone on the train. It's not just big people, sometimes smaller people spread out and press up against me. I can't bear having someone leaning on my side, never have been able to since childhood, even my children, it makes me feel like screaming. So I'd move. Plus, bigger people take up more space. Surely that's not unknown to you? (I'm overweight myself)

Hissy · 28/03/2017 08:19

Oy! Enough of the fat people shit!

People don't like other people sitting next to them. Full stop.

But you have as much right to sit on a seat as they do.

As for bags on seats? Unforgivable

Gallavich · 28/03/2017 08:19

weightism
Fuck sake. I can't bear this Americanism of turning weight into a characteristic like disability or race. It's not 'weightist' to not want to be squashed by someone who empirically takes up more space than the average person. That's physics desr.

Bluntness100 · 28/03/2017 08:20

Op. exactly, you have the same right, so you have the right to your seat as they do theirs, you don't have the right to their seat too. And if you're "encroaching" you will be taking some of their seat. You don't have the right to that,

SailAwaySailAwaySailAway · 28/03/2017 08:20

If lots of people get up and move then it's you not them.