AIBU to expect people not to leave there seats because I am fat

[DUFFDADDY1]

On numerous cases I get on a very busy train and I notice a vacant seat between two people, when I have done this I have had looks as if I have some contagious tropical disease. Or I have mega huffs and strange noises of discontent, or as happend today the person got up and stood until another seat was available . I am overweight, but you will catch it if I sit near you👹

And yes I have asked people if they would want to move so I don't crush them

I think I'd respond with "no, I'll stay in my seat, and you can bugger off".

Oh please joffrey! If you see a seat with ample room due to the small person in the one next to it, and a tiny sliver of a seat next to a big person, you pick the first option!

Exactly Wendy

I'm surprised that needs explaining.

I don't. I just pick the nearest.

And if they were of equal distance?

I have asked people if they would want to move so I don't crush them
Seriously? Surely if there's the remotest possibility that you might crush them you do the decent thing and don't sit down next to on them?
Equally, basic manners and decency would say that you don't sit next to someone if you:
a, would be encroaching into their space due to your size / desire to spread out / inability to keep your elbows to yourself
b, have body odour
c, have offensive breath
d, smell of smoke
e, have been heavy-handed with the perfume / aftershave / deodorant
f, have unpleasant personal habits (scratching, farting, nose-picking, belching etc.)

Then you are even sillier than i imagined joffrey if you would cram yourself in to an uncomfortably small seat out of your apparent blindness to seat and human sizes, rather than take a seat in one where you wouldn't be crushing anyone.

OP, the sensible option would be either to get an earlier or later train or travel (assume you drive) to next station further away so more chance of getting an aisle seat or not going in middle.

Or review your transport options.

Trains will get busier with more commuters (no idea where you are but assume nationwide trains will get busier) so if anything this problem will only get worse as they get busier.

Thank your lucky stars you aren't on a route master bus which can take 2 people but can be really uncomfortable at best of times and air con is terrible and no windows or not good ones. Then you may well get comments. probably not judging by my route though!

OK I'll bite. OP why do you think people are unreasonable (and you clearly do) for getting up to avoid being squashed?

joffrey depends on your commute, London mainline stations where you're desperate for a seat and a busy line (eg Orpington lines) it's a free for all and no one cares (as often standing room at start of journey).

Less busy lines were slightly less over crowding people can take pick of seats and if you were overweight or just wanted more leg room (like my mum who has rheumatoid arthritis and a knee replacement and likes (but doesn't demand) the extra leg room then more option to choose an outer aisle seat on train.

I don't sit In the seats with the arm rests in them unless I need to because I am a size 14 and I have a sizeable ass and wide hips. I'm not fat but I can barely fit in them.

I also hate people especially strangers in my personal space. And I have been on a train or bus plenty of times where a particularly overweight person happily comes and squashes themselves next to me so they either smash up against me, or hang over into the aisle (if it's a bus).

You don't have the right to be in other people's personal space. If you don't fit in the seat...don't use it.

And it's not about fat = dirty.

It's about strangers pressing their body against yours, which is never appropriate or wanted!

Buttered honestly a lot of people are too polite (as would I be) to say something to OP so have to move. OP seems to be taking it personally that not only are they moving they're having the gall to make a slight huffing and puffing noise whilst doing so.

Ruder people would be rude to him whilst moving or as he squashed them.

Mama actually i think all of make allowances for people touching your body slightly due to weight, size etc, it's if people seem to do it on purpose, don't take seating etc into consideration (when they could stand) and are just selfish about it.

We all know the transport companies have reduced the size of seating and we "rub along nicely" generally!

Super you're right. I responded over the top because the OP pissed me off with 'weightism' and refusing to accept that people weren't BU for moving, and playing the victim with fat = unclean.

Whilst I don't like people being in my personal space, I would never ask an overweight person not to sit next to me for fear of my chub rubbing against theirs. But the OP was being a diva for making out he was being bullied and it annoyed me.

Well thank you. I suppose the scores are in. And I think there is no doubt that the vast majority think
IABU

Funnily enough, people who encroach on other people's spaces do seem to have a problem touching them. When they realise that I just won't give up my personal space and aren't too bothered about touching, then they huff and retreat to their own seat space.

It's like moving out of the way when walking. If you don't move, the other person does.

There is no 'ism' here, I am a size 14 with a big but and can barely fit in my local bus seats without touching the next person. So as an overweight man (also manspreading?) I imagine you would be invading their personal space and also physically touching them. It's not pleasant for anybody. At least they just move instead having a go at you, which they could well do if you physically touch them, whether it is un-intentional or not. Sorry.

Most people wouldn't want to find themselves being touched by the body of a stranger on public transport. If someone saw fit to seat themselves in a (too small) space between me and another person I would move too.

OP it is very rude of you to think you can (squash) gatecrash other people's personal space.

This is why I always book/sit in a aisle seat. I can't be forced into the window then. I'll move to let people in but I can sit firm in my aisle seat.

Exactly Hunter. I do that for the same reason.

I do not want any part of me to be sat on, or squeezed, by someone who is going to take up too much space. I would probably get up which would annoy me intensely.
Some of you seem to think only you, and a few other delicate flowers, feel encroached upon in such situations. For your information, I think everyone feels the same.

A year or so ago an extremely large man plonked himself down in the seat next to 55kg me on a bus, taking up his seat and half of mine, crushing me against the window. He kept elbowing me to take up more and more of my space and then turned and screamed at me 'Do you need two seats?'.

There can't be many people with this level of entitlement/ lack of self awareness so I am wondering whether this was you OP?

Please oneiroi
That was and would not be me. Despite some of the harsh comments. I am very polite ( you will need to take my word on that) I have do apologise often, "sorry I accidentally moved my arm and it touched someone. But an example I was on the train yesterday on my way and observed that people who were not as big as me were sitting squashed together moving getting things out of bags or looking at a book etc. And they we're encroaching on each other and no one seemed to bother. I have seen this numerous times.

OP, use your bulk in the service of the public and recover your train popularity by seeking out and sitting down heavily next to the worst manspreaders you can find, then only spreading the leg that encroaches on them. When they get up and leave, move your leg back and give anyone affected by the manspreader a big thumbs up. Your slight encroachments will be swiftly forgiven.

I may try that, to the suits and boots