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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect people not to leave there seats because I am fat

283 replies

DUFFDADDY1 · 28/03/2017 08:04

On numerous cases I get on a very busy train and I notice a vacant seat between two people, when I have done this I have had looks as if I have some contagious tropical disease. Or I have mega huffs and strange noises of discontent, or as happend today the person got up and stood until another seat was available . I am overweight, but you will catch it if I sit near you👹

OP posts:
SomethingBorrowed · 28/03/2017 08:49

YABU to sit if you know the seat width is too small for you ie if you are going to use part of the other seats.
I have a phobia/sensory issue with touching strangers, I am happy to leave you the armrest but I hate someone using part of my seat

SailAwaySailAwaySailAway · 28/03/2017 08:50

It was a serious suggestion. With no agenda. So OP, check your hygiene and what products you wear. Some strong perfumes doused liberally will have people moving away if you sit next to them - and they'd be perfectly entitled to do that.

PollyPerky · 28/03/2017 08:52

Some funny folks on here.

Unless you have no medical reason to be overweight, bearing the brunt of lack of space on planes and trains is a lifestyle choice. If you don't like people's reactions to you taking up more than your share of space, lose weight. Or stand.
I'm fed up with fat people flouncing as if their weight is not their choice or something they can do something about.

EastMidsMummy · 28/03/2017 08:52

BO is a reasonable explanation for their behaviour and one that's very easy to fix

Not on Mumsnet.

Like being overweight, it's almost always the effect of a mystery illness that is impossible to cure.

Or objecting to BO is a challenge to a culturally imposed norm that champions our natural smells and useful bodily oils. Or something.

SquirmOfEels · 28/03/2017 08:54

You have the same 'right' to one seat. And no right to squish another person who also wants one seat.

The problem is that you see being squished as normal, because you are always spilling over. People who fit in one seat just don't see it like that, because they make many journeys without the unwanted physical contact.

EastMidsMummy · 28/03/2017 08:55

Also being overweight could be because of their "sensory issues" which makes it physically repellent to eat an apple though they can happily chomp down Mars bars all day.

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 28/03/2017 08:55

I'm fed up with fat people flouncing as if their weight is not their choice or something they can do something about.

Sometimes we can't do anything about it, even though we really want to Sad. And I definitely do not flounce, and I am very considerate about my weight not inconveniencing others.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 28/03/2017 08:55

Posts posted at 08.52:07 and 08:52:14

Quintessential MN AIBU (and not in a good way)

Doncha just love it.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 28/03/2017 08:56

And I am too fat too flounce. More of a waddle really.....

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 28/03/2017 08:57

And I am too fat too flounce. More of a waddle really.....

😂😂

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 28/03/2017 08:58

and I am very considerate about my weight not inconveniencing others.

Me too. And perhaps I live in a bubble (a very BIG bubble Grin ) but I can count on the fingers of one hand the times when other people's weight has got in my way either literally or metaphorically and one of those (see earlier post) was a skinny little thing.

Elanetical · 28/03/2017 08:58

Not on Mumsnet

You mean, not in the secret thoughts of everyone around you? I don't think mumsnet is unusual in the views of people here, just unusual in the fact those views are actually expressed.

Fozzleyplum · 28/03/2017 08:58

Toofattoflounce would make a great username Grin

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 28/03/2017 08:59

Oh dear Chris I fear someone is going to tell us to get a room soon...with a king size bed, ideally!!

ScoobyDoosTinklyLaugh · 28/03/2017 08:59

I don't like men sitting next to me on public transport, I've been groped a few times. It makes me anxious if a man sits a bit too close to me now so I will get up and stand up. In the situation you describe I'd get up if your body was touching mine.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/03/2017 09:00

I am overweight and won't sit by people on public transport because I feel really bad about it, also I'm funny about personal space.

If someone goes come and sit next to me I stand up regardless of their size.

PollyPerky · 28/03/2017 09:00

Well you are excluded from my comment Chris because I said 'if there is no medical reason'. So that must let you off the hook.

I'm fed up with overweight people being so easily offended.
Sometimes very large people take up all of a 2-seat set of seats. On a packed train that is plainly inconsiderate so they should pay for 2 tickets. And I'm sick and tired of overweight people hogging more than one seat when they sit next to me.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 28/03/2017 09:00

Very fair point Elanet but I wouldn't want it to get in the way of my waspish comment!

And Fozzley how right you are. If it appears here any time soon we will know it's either you or me!

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 28/03/2017 09:01

Would we fit though Ed?

Bonez · 28/03/2017 09:01

Doesn't matter if you're clean. Fat or not I'd rather not sit next to a stranger on public transport with any part of their body touching mine. If I can move I will.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/03/2017 09:03

And given some of the incredibly cunty comments on here, it's no wonder I feel bad about it Hmm

Clarabell33 · 28/03/2017 09:03

Most of the trains I commute on have arm rests and they're usually down. Once a large (not overweight, just big) man sat next to me and raised the arm rest, spreading into my window seat and footspace to the extent that he humphed when his foot hit my bag (small and on my side) and he actively shoved it further under the seat in front to make more room, on my side, for his foot. I was speechless for a moment as I thought he can't possibly think this is ok, must have been an accident, but he didn't move, so I asked him to move off my seat and not kick my belongings. He looked genuinely shocked. I half-wondered if I'd actually been invisible Hmm

I am 5'3" and about a 10, and I fit into train/plane seats with a little room to spare, so can appreciate that someone much taller/wider than me isn't going to have much room, but that doesn't give anyone the right to squash someone who was already sitting down first!

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 28/03/2017 09:03

Well we could send Polly on ahead to measure up for us!

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 28/03/2017 09:04

I'm fed up with overweight people being so easily offended.

On the contrary Polly - we are generally not easily offended, because we've heard it all. We just laugh and shake out heads because people can be so judgmental without a clue what we're going through. You don't like living with us being overweight? Well, neither do we, but we have to get on with it, just like the rest of humanity.

MackerelOfFact · 28/03/2017 09:04

It's not fattist. I'd move if I was sitting opposite someone tall whose knees were bashing mine, or someone with a really bulky bag/coat/newspaper/dog that was invading my space, or if someone was talking loudly on their mobile. It's not a judgement about them as a person or their rights to sit somewhere, it's a decision about my personal comfort.

It would be fattist if they told you to move or were rude about your weight.