Told I should be dating even though I have a 15m old son?

[Marmalade85]

Totally prepared to get flamed but I am shocked by the number of mothers with young DCs that jump into relationships almost straight after a break up.

How do you know these men aren't targeting you for being a single mother? How do you know they aren't child abusers? How do you know the relationship will last?

I'm speaking as a single mother with a toddler, I've been single for 7 months and wouldn't dream of a relationship for several years yet I've been told to get back out there. AIBU?

My son is 5 months and I've started dating I'm sure a lot of people don't agree with it.
But I believe if you do everything correctly and are careful I can't see the harm.
Go for it if you are ready

A) because he wasn't a weirdo
B)
C)

Get off your high horse. Date if you want, don't if you don't want to.

HTH.

Yabu. You've been single for 7 months, that's no time at all.

It is possible to date and not have the children meet your partner for however long you choose.

You may plan to be single for several years but it doesn't always work like that i bet you're back out dating by summer

User not I don't agree

Squirmy you don't know if someone is a weirdo until it's too late

Fish Absolutely not. The stakes are too high and I wouldn't put my son or myself at risk like that.

if you say so.

I would be cautious with starting a new relationship with young DC. Actually if DH and I split up (hopefully unlikely) I think I'd want to concentrate on them and getting the rest of my life together for a few years. But that is me - I had long periods of being single before DH.

That is why you don't introduce your child until you've actually got to know them..

How are you putting your son at risk by dating, exactly? Not every man is a rapist or murderer and you're not going to be sharing a bed all three of you on the first date, are you?!
I met a lovely man after being single for a year. DS was 2.5 at the time. I wasn't looking for anything, it just happened. Don't be so sanctimonious.

Fish why would a single bloke go out with a woman with a young baby? Because he thinks she is desperate and easy and will be waiting at home while he is out living his life?

Op you sound like you arnt up for dating Just now - no issues here

Also you sound like you are in the super protective tiger mother phase - also no issues here as your hormones are doing their job

Having a bloke isn't a requirement

No offence op but your dh wasn't that great either or he wouldn't be an ex!!
And you married him!!

Who has time for relationships with a toddler anyway? I barely have time to look presentable for DH never mind effort of a new bloke.

I think there's a reason you're single

You sound like fucking hard work.

I was having numerous ONS when DD was 12 months. It was awesome.

Funnily enough, you can be a mum and a person too

Dol because you don't know that these men are abusers until it's too late and the abuse has happened. Who would risk that?

YABU for judging other people for doing something just because you don't want to

You do what you want to do and let other people do what they want to do.

Why does anyone go out with anyone?

There isn't always an ulterior motive.

YABU. And sound a bit paranoid.

I got with DP when DD was just turning 2, he didn't meet her straight away, but when he did he bought her a little gift and was fantastic with her. We now have two DC of our own.

You sound awfully cynical.

Marmalade do you really think so little of men? And yourself?

What if someone actually likes you for who you are? It does happen ....... shock horror

Oh dear

OP Are you the one who created the fb meme i saw today?

Unfortunately my last relationship included domestic abuse and I'm fighting through the family courts to keep my son and myself safe so perhaps that's why I'm cautious.

Helena no. What meme?

Because I don't identify myself solely as the mother of my child.
Because I identify myself as an individual with wants and needs that are separate from my role as a parent.
Because I am able to maintain these two parts of my life independently of each other.

HTH

Being 'cautious' doesn't give you the right to make thoroughly unpleasant comments about "desperate and easy" single mothers.