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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dp kicked out cat

298 replies

Anothernamechange5 · 04/02/2017 20:51

Name changed. Massively identifying.

So, I had a cat before we got together. Now 7 years later, living together with a dc.

Cat is quite annoying in a cat way (around your legs for food etc) which is a bit of a pain but manageable. But, he's started being sick a lot after food which dp is sick of cleaning up (whoever spots it cleans it so I clean it up too) and of course not great for dc - although I use disinfectant etc.

Basically I'm sad about it. The cat flap has been taken away & the cat only comes indoors for food. He has the shed for shelter/warmth. I don't want to put up a fight because then I'll feel anxious if/when the cats sick and feel responsible for his anger. I am taking him to the vet so hopefully it'll stop the sickness but think dp is done now.

I just feel sad. AIBU?

OP posts:
Ilovecaindingle · 04/02/2017 20:53

Yes I agree. Kick him out. Shed for warmth. Food supplied etc. ..
I hope you and the cat are cuddled up on the sofa tho. .
Feel free to wave out the window to dh!! Grin

notsomanky · 04/02/2017 20:54

Have you taken your sick cat to the vets?

DefinitelyOdd · 04/02/2017 20:55

Keep the cat and bin the dp.

Auspiciouspanda · 04/02/2017 20:55

If your cat has been throwing up regularly why are you only just now taking it to the vet?????

A shed is hardly going to be warm enough in winter!! Get your bloody cat in and face up to your responsibilities as a pet owner.

Original poster
Anothernamechange5 · 04/02/2017 20:55

He's booked in for this week. He's always been sick off and on (he eats too fast!) but has gone on a bit now so want to get it checked. It's not the frequency that's pissed off dp it's just that he's sick on the carpet

OP posts:
Pumpkintopf · 04/02/2017 20:56

Why wouldn't you stick up for your cat op? Certainly take poor cat to vet to get the sickness thing sorted but can't comprehend an animal owner allowing their pet to be pushed out like this.

piginboots · 04/02/2017 20:56

YANBU.

Poor cat. Did your partner actually take out the cat flap without your agreement? That's pretty shitty imo. As a compromise (taking into account that it is your cat) can you maybe agree that if the cat is sick while you are in the house then you will clean it up?

Sparklingbrook · 04/02/2017 20:56

I bet the cat is more sad than you are about it. Get it to the vets then if it can't come back in get it rehomed.

Original poster
Anothernamechange5 · 04/02/2017 20:57

I have stuck up for cat. I just feel anxious & worn every time dp angry about it & I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
RacoonBandit · 04/02/2017 20:58

Cat to the vet sooner maybe?

ellenjames · 04/02/2017 20:58

Get rid of the dp. Poor bloody cat Sad

GhostInTheBackOfYourHead · 04/02/2017 20:58

Your H sounds like an arse. Who behaves like that???
Are you scared of him? It just seems like a very unhealthy power dynamic in your partnership. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this nasty behaviour. He sounds like a domineering bully. Has he always been like this?

Original poster
Anothernamechange5 · 04/02/2017 20:58

Yes definitely think cruel to let him stay where not wanted & find him a lovely home

OP posts:
Pumpkintopf · 04/02/2017 20:58

Get cat to vet (no idea why you've left it this long tbh) and offer to do all the cleaning up yourself?

happypoobum · 04/02/2017 20:59

Never mind what's wrong with the cat - what the fuck is wrong with you? Are you seriously so subordinate to your DP that you allow him to relegate your pet to the shed - in the middle of winter, possibly carrying an illness?

Do you not give a shit?

Tell DP the cat is coming back and if he doesn't like it he can fuck off.

Angry
Patriciathestripper1 · 04/02/2017 20:59

Feed the cat outside.
See what vet says.
It's difficult when one is an animal lover and the other isn't. And I can understand why you want to keep the peace. It's not nice when you are constantly cleaning up after a pet.
We have two cats who both live out and sleep in a shed with plenty of straw for warmth. They are absolutely fine.
Please don't feel sad. It may be something the vet can sort out.

Blackbird82 · 04/02/2017 20:59

Er, the cat was there first! Poor old thing, relegated to a cold damp shed with no human company.

If he pukes after his food then can't you feed him little and often? I would never allow this, my husband could go F himself......

WowserBowser · 04/02/2017 20:59

Aw, poor kitty.

My DH didnt like cats. I got one, and he now adores her. He treats her better than the rest of the family!

That would make me sad.

Tell him it's tough and bring poor sickly cat in.

haveacupoftea · 04/02/2017 20:59

DP is a fucking arsehole. YABU for not taking the cat to the vet sooner - he probably just needs wormed anyway!

ilovesooty · 04/02/2017 20:59

He sounds like a total prick. I can't imagine why you even allowed him to exclude the cat like that.

Original poster
Anothernamechange5 · 04/02/2017 20:59

Not scared of dp but always felt he dominates decisions & I struggle to support my case (he's a lot more articulate)

OP posts:
Athome77 · 04/02/2017 20:59

Have you wormed the cat? Poor cat being kicked out.

Pumpkintopf · 04/02/2017 21:00

Please don't think dumping him at a shelter =finding him a lovely new home either especially an older cat. Can't believe you think a shed is fine for warmth for a seven year old cat in the middle of winter. Stand up to your partner!

Original poster
Anothernamechange5 · 04/02/2017 21:01

No not shelter. With someone I know so I could visit/make sure he was ok

OP posts:
Crapfriends · 04/02/2017 21:01

Cat was there before DP I assume? What did he expect? Cat ownership means putting up with illness and the like does he get equally annoyed whenever the kids wet themselves/are sick?
I love my cats and as annoying as they can be (you cat sounds like a slight in comparison to one of mine) if anyone doesn't like them they can get out. I couldn't be with someone who was so horrible to animals. It says a lot about their character that I couldn't live with. The poor thing probably has a few years left make them enjoyable and get the cat to the vets asap and maybe change it's diet (small portions, little and often)