How the heck do working mums manage this?!

[LosAngeles444]

Returned to work after maternity leave, DS 6 months old. DH works longer hours so I'm responsible for the nursery drop off and pick up. Morning, I drive DS to nursery, drive back home to park the car, walk 10 mins to train station to get into work. Have to leave work at 4pm to pick up DS from nursery.

Only just started this new routine and already knackered! How the heck do mums manage this? Aibu for thinking this is unsustainable and you just burn out at some point? I've only got one DS so know I can't really complain but it's already damn tough. How do you do it?

Welcome to the world of parenting.... try it with 3, not just 1!

Does your DH have fixed hours?

How do you cope and morning collapse with exhaustion? By 9am this morning I'd already had enough! Lol

Can you not walk from nursery?

DHs hours are from 7.15am to 6pm so there's no way he can fit in with nursery hours of 7.30am to 6pm

Clothes (mine and his) laid out ready the night before, all bags packed the night before, lunches made the night before, lots of prep for dinners done at the weekend or the night before, meal, planning, online shopping.

A cleaner once a week and a clear routine of evening chores. Early bedtime for my Ds.

Work 9-4 Mon-Thurs with an hour commute each way and work from home on Wednesday (can you do a day from home - it really helps). I don't find it too bad with all the above.

It is hard but as with everything you do adapt. The older your da get the easier it will be, hang in there. Needs must

We are a 7 minute drive from nursery via A roads. No way of walking it

Give it a month or two and it will become a straightforward routine. Until that is the bugger wants input into what clothes they wear that morning....

Well, you get fat because you take to comfort eating over the stress of foot & mouth, conjunctivitis, chicken pox, head lice etc. ... which means LO can't go to nursery.

Then you take to alcohol as a 'PHEW! now I can sit down...' moment

Don't worry OP, it only lasts for around 21 years or so. By that time you'll be too old to care...

And when we chose childcare we didn't look at anywhere which wasn't within a ten minute walk of both a train station and our home.

Well, in our case it was that I did the morning and DH did the evening...

But, otherwise, yes, everything is packed the night before

You will get used to it. Do listen to yourself though. You need to look after yourself as much as possible, or the house of cards will fall down. If you feel you are slipping a bit, make an effort to have very early nights til you feel more on top. Eat well.

We were lucky enough to have a nursery which was on the way to work so we weren't wasting nursery time on the commute, but I know that isn't possible for many.

It's a long time since I was the working mum of a 6 month old, but the OP brought it all back, arriving at work feeling like I'd already done a day's work etc.

As I remember, it gets better, you get into a routine, somehow you get enough sleep.

Here are some for the OP and all the other mums and dads coping with the working day.

You wait till DC hits 2.5 and refuses to get dressed causing a battle which culminates in a river of wee on your nice new bedspread and elderly neighbours knocking to see what all the noise is about.

I found the first year after maternity leave really hard (full time teacher) but now I am in my third year back and I'm just used to juggling it

I make sure everything is ready at night to make mornings easier and I'm very organised at home and at school.

It does get easier!

We always shared pick up and drop off. Not sure I could have faced it otherwise!

Could you park at the station???

Definitely get a cleaner; don't try to be superwoman. I just see a cleaner as a work expense, like commuting and childcare

I also agree slightly shorter contracted hours /a day working from home both make it a lot more tolerable if either are an option!

I'm somehow managing op. Went back 3 months ago, drop 1yo ds off at 8, hour to 1.5 hour commute into London, work through lunch, commute back to collect at 6. Have him cry at me and feed solidly from 7pm until 7am (waking every 45 mins at night currently) then do it all again.

I'm finding lots of preparation the night before, clothes and lunch all ready, routine routine routine (where possible) and early nights to scrape as much sleep as possible. I'm currently close to breaking point but only because his sleep is so appalling. Otherwise I've found it all quite manageable - just have to plan everything with military precision! Good luck with it all.

go part time?
clone yourself?

I think I can only manage it because I WFH two days out of four, and in my office days, DP can do nursery drop off. Even so, I'm permanently exhausted.

It gets easier and just part of the day. The whole routine is always hard when you first go back after maternity leave
It gets easier when they are at school and get invited on play dates so you don't have to Rush to get one of them
I have 2 at 2 different places and then myself to work 9-5 and will soon have 3 in 3 places plus me - poor planning!

I'm part time, but did the daily nursery run from 6 months. I just becomes routine, I promise. The first few weeks are a killer, but you'll be doing it in your sleep eventually!