How the heck do working mums manage this?!

[LosAngeles444]

Returned to work after maternity leave, DS 6 months old. DH works longer hours so I'm responsible for the nursery drop off and pick up. Morning, I drive DS to nursery, drive back home to park the car, walk 10 mins to train station to get into work. Have to leave work at 4pm to pick up DS from nursery.

Only just started this new routine and already knackered! How the heck do mums manage this? Aibu for thinking this is unsustainable and you just burn out at some point? I've only got one DS so know I can't really complain but it's already damn tough. How do you do it?

I do it with a combination of

1. Not much sleep
2. A supportive DH
3. A lot of organisation
4. A cleaner
5. All shopping delivered in the evening

This is how we do it: I work full time as a teacher - I'm about to switch to private sector so will be off classroom teaching work 17-18 weeks a year. This helps!

DH has shifted his hours so he can begin later in the morning but will be home a bit later - this means he can take DD to school every day.

DS is still a toddler so he goes to a childminder 4 days a week term time only - 1 day a week my mum looks after him. I chose a childminder near my work so I can do this drop off.

My mum picks up DD 3 days per week and takes her home.. 1 day she goes to after school care, and one day she goes round a friend's house. I have this friend often during school holidays to help her mum with holiday childcare.

I got a cleaner, and I get shopping delivery

I keep REALLY organised, and during the week try and cook meals the night before that will keep well for the next day (bolognese, stews, pies). I can then put these on and keep an eye while I mark or prepare lessons during the evening.

enormous tiger speaks a lot of sense on the “why work” thing. I worked originally because I had to, very easy and no decision made. I idealised the thought of being a SAHP but it wasn’t possible for me.
As the kids get older I realise that, while hard in some respects, it was the right decision for me in so many other ways. Life has a way of throwing curve balls and, for me, having two earners makes a lot of sense and (in my case) is, I think, good for my marriage (not applying this to everyone). I also realise that I will welcome the distraction once the kids leave the nest, I know I will feel bereft at that stage and I hope having a career will help with that. Agree also with the sentiment that, if you are going to work & juggle, best to get paid properly for it if at all possible. Very funny to come on this thread, I had forgotten what MN is like.

I am a ninja when it comes to food - we eat really well. That is one of my core values (the need/desire to eat well and to know that my family are eating well and, whenever possible, eating together) therefore I prioritise that bit. For other people it might be something else.

I do think its when the juggle gets to a point that you are struggling to meet one of your core values/priorities that things start to get stressful/shaky. So sometimes you need to take some time out to remind yourself what is/is not working and see if you can make adjustments that might help the stress.

For me giving up work and following my heart has been life changing.

I dumped my career completely, put my energies into my family, then when they started school looked at alternative ways of finding income without an employer.

My oldest is now 19, I have not been employed since he was born.

If I had not taken that leap of faith then I wouldn't be in this very fortunate position now.

Good for you Mindtrope. I'm glad it worked out so well.

I work because I want to I enjoy it. I Don't define myself wholly as mother,for me being a parent in itself isn't enough

my dc fit in around me.i don't fit in around them.by that I mean I always had a plan

• I continued to work ft, and I've changed jobs got promoted
• ft nursery at 6mth
• had to have shared parental responsibilities dp drop off, I collect.
• no he's a man,his job more important than mine rubbish.both have to share equally
• not all my activities are dc or baby related.went off on own to do things I liked too