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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be befuddled by friends of mine who still go clubbing?

218 replies

user1477282676 · 05/01/2017 11:24

And I mean clubbing...with glitter on their faces, drugs in their pockets...or bras...or wherever they keep them?

These are the same age as me...early 40s...we were part of the "rave scene" and when we were 19 or so spent our lives waiting for the weekend when we could go to one of the many Manchester or Liverpool clubs, get off our heads and dance all night and part of the morning too.

How the feck have they got the energy? Or the desire? They post about their Ibiza plans on FB and put pics of last year's escapades too...isn't it a bit sad?

Or am I a miserable old cow? I suppose if they love it then all good...but the drugs! They've got kids! These are professional people too...teachers and the like.

OP posts:
MuseumOfCurry · 05/01/2017 11:26

I'd rather stick pins in my eyes, but you are coming across a bit judgemental.

wasonthelist · 05/01/2017 11:27

YANBU

GeillisTheWitch · 05/01/2017 11:28

I don't judge the clubbing but I do the drugs. I know someone who does this. She works with kids, if she was caught and charged with possession surely that would be her career fucked without a clean disclosure sheet?

Gowgirl · 05/01/2017 11:29

I wouldn't have the energy....
In fact the last time I went to even a pub was for a toddler group at 9am, I'm just old and tiredGrin

icanteven · 05/01/2017 11:30

I would completely go to Ibiza to go clubbing if I could. David Guetta at Ushuaia is a long way from queuing outside a local nightclub though - I wouldn't be seen dead doing the latter at my age (38) but a fancy weekend away dancing sounds pretty great.

HeddaGabbler · 05/01/2017 11:30

Why is it sad? I get that the drugs is a bit stupid but the going out clubbing/Ibiza etc... Where's the harm? If they are going out and having fun what's 'sad' about it? What do you think they should be doing instead?

Original poster
user1477282676 · 05/01/2017 11:31

Curry I do judge a bit...it's the drugs. I think if you're a parent, then you should do all you can to look after yourself. Not take illegal chemicals for eg.

OP posts:
Laiste · 05/01/2017 11:31

I thought you were going to say they're late 20s early 30s and i was going to admit to still going clubbing at that age and stick up for them (i had 3 kids by then too).

However 40s is pushing it a bit i agree. (i'm late 40s). Can't quite say why. If they were jumping out of planes or running marathons i'd say good on them.

AchingBack · 05/01/2017 11:32

I'm nearly 35 and still go to clubs when I go out-not every time but on occasion. Never done drugs though even when I was younger so can't comment on that but clubbing itself I see no problem with it if it's what they enjoy.

niceupthedance · 05/01/2017 11:33

Could be that they love music? I went clubbing in Berlin in December and I'm early 40s. I didn't feel like a sad case.

perfectlybroken · 05/01/2017 11:33

The drugs thing would bother me if they have kids. It can take several days to properly come down and recover. I once witnessed an extremely out of it teacher who had been discovered at a club by some of her students, I can't imagine the consequences of that!

Original poster
user1477282676 · 05/01/2017 11:33

Hedda I don't know really...it's hard to express.Maybe they should have moved on? Maybe not...I can't articulate it.

OP posts:
DailyFail1 · 05/01/2017 11:34

I love raves but never did like the drug scene. I'm 37 and a mum & don't think I'm strange/

Namechangenurseryconcerns · 05/01/2017 11:35

I'm with you on the drugs bit but if they're still enjoying clubbing then good on them!
How do you know they still take drugs?

SittingDrinkingTea · 05/01/2017 11:35

The though of going clubbing these days makes me shudder, but then so does the thought of cave diving, line dancing, watching opera...you get my drift. People like different things, if some fourty plus year olds want to high and dance like they're nineteen again I'm not going to judge, but I'm damn well not going to go with them either.

QueenofallIsee · 05/01/2017 11:36

Not a clubber myself generally but I don't think that age should be a factor. To be perfectly honest, the fact we are so much more affluent in our 30s/40s means better access to drugs and clubs doesn't it? If thats what you like to do? If I was still a coke fiend, I would find it much easier to pay for now than I did in the 90s

The drugs will give them the energy and, unpopular though the view may be, I do believe that you can dabble in those substances from time to time and still be a generally responsible person.

FourToTheFloor · 05/01/2017 11:36

I agree. An attempt to hang on to their youth. As a parent especially I think it's shit to be doing drugs and the risks that come with it.

YelloDraw · 05/01/2017 11:37

I think if you're a parent, then you should do all you can to look after yourself

Do you drink alcohol?
Do you eat sugar?
Do you do at least 30 mins of cardio a day?
Do you eat processed red meat?

Cos, you really should do everything you can to look after yourself.

GeekLove · 05/01/2017 11:37

I would but I love music and I'm very picky about the clubs I go too. It's been more than a decade since going to Slimelight...

WorraLiberty · 05/01/2017 11:38

But you're not just judging them about the drugs are you?

You're judging them for continuing to enjoy activities that you used to enjoy when you were younger.

Tbh, I never wanted 'mummy friends' or to join NCT classes and all that jazz. In fact I would have rathered a boiling hot enema.

But the fact other people enjoyed those things, didn't 'befuddle' me in the slightest.

Horses for courses.

Laiste · 05/01/2017 11:38

See i never did the drug thing either. I would get blind drunk mind you. Kids were always tucked up in bed and safe with their dad or a nan babysitting.

I would however have to be up and cheerfully parenting from 7am the next day with a screaming hangover. It's the thought of that bit which puts me off doing it now more than anything else tbh!

ListenIda · 05/01/2017 11:39

I was the kind of person who used to bring a paperback in my pocket and read it in the loo in clubs in my teens and twenties, but your attitude is more than a bit depressing. What are people in the 40s allowed to do, in your opinion? Get their kicks from coffee mornings? Black tie dinners? Ann Summers parties? Macramé circles?

ListenIda · 05/01/2017 11:41

Tbh, I never wanted 'mummy friends' or to join NCT classes and all that jazz. In fact I would have rathered a boiling hot enema

Come to think of it, my brief and disastrous brush with the NCT was a bit like having a boiling hot enema, only with a voiceover about Cascades of Intervention.

Willyoujustbequiet · 05/01/2017 11:46

Yabu. Drugs aside.

Good on them if they enjoy it. Whats sad is judging people for living their lives to the fullest regardless of age.

Lorelei76 · 05/01/2017 11:48

I've got friends who still do this in early 40s. I have no desire to join them but I don't find it sad at all.

If they are parents, then they never go out with 2 parents being off their face - it's always the case that the dad is at home and my friends don't go home to their children but stay elsewhere. They only take drugs occasionally though and it's been in festivals away from London so they wouldn't be going home anyway.

I suppose there is an issue with "what if the kid gets sick" but they don't drive (we're mostly Londoners in my group of friends) and I imagine you come down off whatever it is PDQ if you are called back home because someone is ill. I've never taken those kinds of drugs so I don't know.

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