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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be befuddled by friends of mine who still go clubbing?

218 replies

user1477282676 · 05/01/2017 11:24

And I mean clubbing...with glitter on their faces, drugs in their pockets...or bras...or wherever they keep them?

These are the same age as me...early 40s...we were part of the "rave scene" and when we were 19 or so spent our lives waiting for the weekend when we could go to one of the many Manchester or Liverpool clubs, get off our heads and dance all night and part of the morning too.

How the feck have they got the energy? Or the desire? They post about their Ibiza plans on FB and put pics of last year's escapades too...isn't it a bit sad?

Or am I a miserable old cow? I suppose if they love it then all good...but the drugs! They've got kids! These are professional people too...teachers and the like.

OP posts:
TheLivingAsheth · 05/01/2017 12:18

Well, as a young person I would have judged you for taking drugs at 19 too (never taken drugs although still went clubbing).

TheLivingAsheth · 05/01/2017 12:18

Cross post Elle!

ALittleMop · 05/01/2017 12:18

YABU
You're just not into it. Your problem.
I'd not go out to a club night with people 25 years younger than me and ruin it for them through. I go to early morning raves these days, with yoga and smoothies and raw vegan snacks. Glitter optional but encouraged.

loobyloo1234 · 05/01/2017 12:19

Your friends sound fun minus the drugs part Whilst you sound boring and judgmental. Good on them for still having fun

Sundance01 · 05/01/2017 12:22

i'm in my 50's and regularly go clubbing - different generation so it tends to be Ska nites and Northern Soul nights - places are full of people my age and older.

Also go to gigs at least monthly and in Dec fell flat on my in a tube train in Camden I was so drunk. Brilliant night out!

You're a long time dead

You only have one go at life - do what you enjoy and celebrate the fact when others are doing likewise - whatever that may be!

mumofthemonsters808 · 05/01/2017 12:22

No judgment from me, if anything I say good on them, at least they still have some lust for life and get pleasure from the music and dancing.If they want to take drugs it's upto them. I'd rather have this type of person than someone who is obsessed with reality TV, at least they are having fun.

butterfliesandzebras · 05/01/2017 12:22

But the fact other people enjoyed those things, didn't 'befuddle' me in the slightest.

Agreed. I really don't get all the ragging on how other people choose to spend their leisure time that goes on (I.e. 'adults shouldn't play with lego' 'adults playing computer games are childish' etc).

There are lots of hobbies I wouldn't want to do (golf, skydiving etc) and lots that I do that other people wouldn't want to (cooking, swiming). But thats what being individuals is all about.

Good for your friends for doing what they enjoy and not giving a crap about what judgemental people like you might think. Life is too short to not do what you love.

RebelRogue · 05/01/2017 12:23

I go clubbing a few times a year. I don't do drugs as they were never my thing. I do drink (a lot!) dance,sweat,laugh and have fun. The friend i mostly go with is 39, i can't believe next year it would be seen as "sad" us two going out. We don't go because we can't let go of our 20's,we go because we enjoy it and we deserve to have fun,despite having kids,partners and jobs. And clubbing is how we have fun!

peggyundercrackers · 05/01/2017 12:24

YABU and an old stick in the mud. so your friends like dancing and going out - no doubt they are out having the time of their lives and your doing what with your life?

just recently ive had a close member of my family pass away - its made me realise life is too damn short not to not have a good time and make the most of it. sitting in front of the tv or the internet isn't making the most of it.

WildBelle · 05/01/2017 12:25

I agree OP.

I was a right rave bunny for a number of years in my youth, and I remember having mates in their late thirties/forties who were still partying and thinking 'yeah! I'm going to be like that! Why would anyone want to stop raving?'.

Now that I'm there, I can honestly say I'd rather grate my face off. The odd misdemeanour at Glastonbury or whatever perhaps, but not as my main way of life. Mostly because I have 2 kids, and have had enough friends die from drugs over the years not to risk leaving my kids without a mum.

Presstheresetbutton · 05/01/2017 12:25

I freaking love Ibiza. Go every year for opening and closing parties, went for Space closing, love Ushuaia and children of the 80s.

Also go clubbing in London once a month.

You sound like an utter nosy bore OP.

drinkingchanelno5 · 05/01/2017 12:27

you sound boring and judgmental

Agreed. And is taking drugs occasionally all that much worse than getting drunk? I'd say not, but then I'm not a judgy pearl-clutcher.

Also, there is nothing more boring than someone who stops liking something and then turns their nose up at those who continue to like it. Bore off.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 05/01/2017 12:28

I don't go clubbing these days but I did in the late 80's/90s - I still go to gigs, buy band t shirts - but I also am a parent and have other interests - Clubbing is just another way of socialising and having fun. I don't do drugs these days - couldn't deal with the anxiety and illegality - but I still get drunk now and then - which is not ideal. I think identity an aggregate of many different aspects and for me clubbing/ dancing/ music etc. are some of those aspects. There is nothing inherently wrong with continuing to enjoy it - I just can't dance til 6am these days.

I am not so far from the young woman I once was that I cannot see the appeal of going dancing - ibiza never appealed mind I was more grotty indie all nighter (Primal Scream at the Brixton Academy was a fun night).

Raisensaretoddlercrack · 05/01/2017 12:32

Lorelei76

Sorry "judge" was probably too strong a word to use. More feel bad for them that they haven't experienced anything else other than clubbing. I recently went out again after a few years break due to having DCs and met some people I used to know that were still working the same unfulfilling jobs, still living for the weekend and still living in the same rented house as they were 10 years ago. What I am trying to say is that balance is key. That doesn't necessarily mean a family or mortgage etc but something else other than just relentless partying. The nights I go to have lots of people in their 30s, 40s plus and and I see that as a good thing Grin

Emmageddon · 05/01/2017 12:34

You sound a tiny bit jealous that you are not included in these wild nights out and holidays in Ibiza. I would be jealous too, if friends of mine posted about their exciting social lives, while I sat at home nursing a colicky baby, wearing a stained t-shirt and watching daytime TV Grin

I find it quite sad that anyone judges others for doing stuff 'at their age' - dancing the night away isn't just for our teens and twenties. Life is short, live it to the full and do what you love, whatever that may be.

Northend77 · 05/01/2017 12:36

Would be my idea of a night of hell!! I used to go clubbing every weekend (never with the drugs though) and did Ibiza and still enjoy dancing around in my kitchen to the music at times but wouldn't go clubbing now (I'm 39)!!

I think I last went to a club in town (and I'll admit, they really aren't much to write home about here) well over a decade ago and I felt old then! I'm sure they are in the minority and who wants to be prancing around with kids young enough to be your own?!!

But each to their own and if that's what they want to do then that's up to them. But I'm with you!!

I certainly don't approve of the drug use though - regardless of them having kids and being teachers, etc but that does make it so much worse

Thornyrose7 · 05/01/2017 12:37

I was a raver in the early nineties, but in my forties now and don't do anything more than a sock dance in the kitchen if a club classic come on the radio. But that's me. I don't have anything against anyone else who still does it now. Drugs are another matter though. I do get surprised when older people continue to take such risks with the law and their health. So in that sense, I am with the OP.

backaftera2yearbreak · 05/01/2017 12:50

Love dancing. Never taken drugs though!

SapphireStrange · 05/01/2017 12:51

I'm envious. I can't stay up much beyond 10pm these days. And I need my herbal tea. And I get positively tetchy if I miss a week of listening to Kermode and Mayo's film review podcast, in bed, with the aforementioned tea.

I used to dance on podiums and smuggle in drugs and all manner.

Helspopje · 05/01/2017 12:55

Peach 2017 for those interested
www.ticketweb.co.uk/event/peach-camden-palace-reunion-2017-tickets/251617

maddiemookins16mum · 05/01/2017 12:59

Blimey, I won't even go in a busy pub these days if I'm not guaranteed a seat for the evening (and was the same ten years ago when early 40's) and I was a massive "party animal" in my 20/30's.

Apart from the drugs, yab a little u though (let them get on with it).

Chrissiecat · 05/01/2017 13:02

No to the drugs.

Wish I had the energy to go clubbing!

zukiecat · 05/01/2017 13:03

I find it a bit odd too OP

Was never really into clubbing, and I don't drink alcohol, I only go to pubs if I'm going for lunch, I have never been one just to go for a drink

The drugs horrify me though, I've never done drugs and I think it's a crazy irresponsible thing to get into

I'm nearly 50 and I think the last time I was in a club was when I was 23!

InTheKitchenAtParties · 05/01/2017 13:06

I'm totally judging them for wearing glitter on their faces.

Clankboing · 05/01/2017 13:07

I agree OP. I'm not judgemental as a rule but tend to be for this. I can't understand it at that age and with that responsibility. It baffles me too - what's the joy in it?

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