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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be befuddled by friends of mine who still go clubbing?

218 replies

user1477282676 · 05/01/2017 11:24

And I mean clubbing...with glitter on their faces, drugs in their pockets...or bras...or wherever they keep them?

These are the same age as me...early 40s...we were part of the "rave scene" and when we were 19 or so spent our lives waiting for the weekend when we could go to one of the many Manchester or Liverpool clubs, get off our heads and dance all night and part of the morning too.

How the feck have they got the energy? Or the desire? They post about their Ibiza plans on FB and put pics of last year's escapades too...isn't it a bit sad?

Or am I a miserable old cow? I suppose if they love it then all good...but the drugs! They've got kids! These are professional people too...teachers and the like.

OP posts:
Lorelei76 · 05/01/2017 16:41

" For a start, sugar, alcohol and red meat can't land you with a criminal record just for being in possession of them, with the potential to affect your employability and travel destinations."

it's interesting that this has been raised because at school, a couple of kids gave up drugs because of this worry. They were cautioned by police a couple of times though, and my feeling - not knowledge - is that most people would just get cautioned the first time at least.

In terms of dying, it's not something I worry about - again I don't take drugs - but I am not sure what the stats are in terms of dying from something like a road accident or dying from a dodgy pill.

anyway, OP hasn't been back but I also got the impression it's not just the drugs that worry her but an element of "shouldn't be clubbing after a certain age" which doesn't make sense to me.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/01/2017 16:46

Yanbu, I have never taken drugs, but as a nearly 40 with 2 kids, I would rather stick pins in my eyes than go to a hit sweaty club. Their like meat markets. In fact, they are like POF and Tinder all in one room!

BusterGonad · 05/01/2017 16:48

I agree Lorelei, it's the whole clubbing thing that has got people's knickers in a twist. Give me a bottle of wine, some good mates and a club open until the small hours and I'm as happy as a pig in 💩!

TheCatsMother99 · 05/01/2017 16:49

YABU.

Drugs aside, they're not hurting anyone so let them be happy, they're not sad at all.

What is the age limit on clubbing? And what other professions aren't you allowed to dance to music to?... Just want to make sure I'm not thought of as a saddo Wink

BusterGonad · 05/01/2017 16:51

The clubs where I go are not trashy dives with people shagging and men dribbling everywhere. I guess I'm lucky that I have great clubs in my doorstep!

Eolian · 05/01/2017 16:51

YANBU. But then I've never liked clubbing and have never taken recreational drugs.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/01/2017 16:57

I am not impressed with the ones I've been to, and yest they have been hit sweaty dives, with men wanting a quick one. I woukd rather go out for a meal and theatre. Or to place down the road, which is more upmarket, you book like a table for 10, and have a nice sit down buffet than dance the night away at a themed night. I went to an 80's themed night and it was great. It's a huge hall type place, decked out very nicely, lovely ambiance, no fighting or groping. Where people treat you with respect.

Lorelei76 · 05/01/2017 16:59

Aeroflot, I vaguely recall accidentally walking into a couple of meat market clubs when I was at uni but you walk straight back out again!! Those were such awful experiences....but that is not what my clubbing life was like for 15+ years. I'm guessing the OP is not talking about those kinds of places either.

ageingrunner · 05/01/2017 17:00

I have been to those kind of meat market clubs that people are describing, but not for a long time. There are plenty of clubs with nice people who wouldn't dream of groping anyone.

Lorelei76 · 05/01/2017 17:01

Aero - cross post - those 80s clubs sound more the vibe of the dance clubs.

I think a lot of 40something clubbers are also doing dinner and theatre etc.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/01/2017 17:07

Yes I used to frequent them, because my friends enjoyed them so I felt I should, was 16-21 years. I tried to enjoy them, but never could. The ghastly electric club type music, Ministry of Sound that kind of thing. Boys, as they really were, trying it on, and trying to grope you. Same thing happened 7 years ago when I went to a local club, for my friends hen night, whilst I was waiting for the cloak room, the man behind me was rubbing his parts against me, I turned around and he was grinning at ,e, I told him to feck off😡😡😡😡

Aeroflotgirl · 05/01/2017 17:08

Confirmed my suspicions of general night clubs.

SapphireStrange · 05/01/2017 17:15

I almost never had that horrible kind of experience while out clubbing.

I guess I used to to to a lot of gay nights [fag hag] and also 'serious' music nights where people really were there for the music, not for a night in a meat market.

BusterGonad · 05/01/2017 17:23

Sapphire I'm with you on that one, I've been to some shit meat market clubs in my youth with a group of friends that weren't into their music as such and it's been ok but my usual clubs are very music oriented and people are there to enjoy the music and the general scene, which is really relaxed and a breath of fresh air, the clubs I visit now are pretty much the same but are more loungy. Obviously people drink and are looking for partners but not in the Neanderthal tongues down throat way that is being described in some posts.

Lorelei76 · 05/01/2017 17:31

Sapphire, yes, that's me - serious music types and gay clubs.

Aero - sorry you went through that, sounds dire.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/01/2017 17:33

Lorelei76 that's ok, there's a gay club near me, that everyone likes to go to as its really respectful and ladies feel more comfortable there. Might check that one out Smile. However I feel sorry for them, as its been invaded by the straights.

BusterGonad · 05/01/2017 17:46

I went to a real dive on my hen do but I can honestly say it was one of the funniest nights of my life. No one got groped thank god....it was just so much fun. We danced like idiots, drank rank free 'champagne' and just had a real laugh, then polished the night off with fried chicken and a can of Coke! It's one of my fondest memory's.

The80sweregreat · 05/01/2017 17:51

you mention teachers in the original post, judging by some of the things I read on here on how teachers are treated in the classroom and by management, no wonder they go out weekends/ holiday time and let their hair down and I am no fan of the nightclub and haven't been inside one for about 8 years!!

StealthPolarBear · 05/01/2017 18:34

Surely teachers don't have time!

Deadsouls · 05/01/2017 18:40

I don't think I could now. The noise levels would be too much for me. And I don't do drugs...so..not for me. I know parents like this though. I don't know how they have the energy either. Plus I'm a total introvert these days!
I've had my clubbing days...

BusterGonad · 05/01/2017 19:11

Stealth I'm sure, 100% sure teachers still have down time! I've been on many a night out with a few teachers in tow!

haveacupoftea · 05/01/2017 19:25

YABU. You only get one life and shouldn't be afraid to enjoy it.

preciouspig · 05/01/2017 19:29

Id rather be out clubbing than sat judging on mumsnet Grin

BusterGonad · 05/01/2017 19:33

I'd rather be out clubbing then at a baby group talking about weaning and baby poo!

ThymeLord · 05/01/2017 19:59

Me too precious and buster!

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