To be fucked off with in laws always asking me?!

[NickNacks]

DH owns a mobile phone.

In laws even have his number.

He answers and replies to messages to that number.

However every question is directed at me? What shall we get the dc for Christmas being the latest one. Argh. Ask him! I can't imagine for one second my aunt or brother or mum texting DH to ask our plans for new year. Isn't it sexist? Aibu?

It's sexist.

It's wifework.

They think you're his secretary.

Just keep directing them back to him.

Wifework.

So, that's your Xmas pressies for them sorted?

Honestly, I'd have to say something.

My in laws know better, they email dh, I've spent years practising aloofness

Plus dh is in board

He's the only one who phones them

Do you phone them ?

Or get him to get in contact with them to discuss. And for him to own.
Does your DH 'get it' ?

I could've written this exact post myself OP. My MIL always asks me what the DCs want, and more irritatingly, what DH wants. No idea why she can't manage to ask him herself, it drives me insane.

DH is great. He's the better gift buyer anyway, always has better ideas than me and if he receives a message then he replies.

Does it matter how often they text? The fact that it's more often me than DH that they message is bad enough.

I don't phone them unless I want to. Or I message to have a catch up etc. We get along fine, quite well in fact and I socialise with them independently. But this in particular really gets on my wick.

Same here. I don't mind them asking what child wants.
I do mind them asking what he wants. He's YOUR son. You think of something. I DONT KNOW what he wants. HE doesn't know what he wants.
Good luck!

Just direct them to your DH every time. My in laws don't even have my mobile number.

MIL has been messaging me on a daily basis to ask what DH wants for Christmas. I have been reminding DH on a daily basis to reply.

"I'd rather me tell the inlaws what the DC want for Christmas than leaving it up to DH. God knows what they would end up with."

Why doesn't he know what his own children would like for Christmas?

It's totally sexist! My in laws do exactly the same thing but with everything they consider women's work! What does my DS want for Christmas, what does he want for dinner, what does my DH want for Christmas, where do we want to eat for lunch etc etc! To be fair to my DH, he does talk to them / txt them with the answers to the questions directed at me, but they still redirect the conversation back to me! It's so annoying - how did they communicate before I came along?

I find it very odd that so many in-laws have their dil's or sil's number. My parents certainly don't have my DH's number, nor his mine. If they want to know what we want for Christmas etc, they ask their blood relative. At the max, I do Christmas cards because I like writing them.

But would all these men actually know what their DC want for Christmas? Surely they'd have to come and ask you anyway?

Hahahaha very funny!!
Of course my DH and most men would. As indeed most women would. Having breasts doesn't make me better at this task.

MIL does this. I'm fairly close to her so we text often, though, so questions like this tend to come up in conversation without it being a deliberate sexist thing on her part. If you genuinely don't want the contact just redirect them every time to your DH.

Wifework. Where you are also expected to remember, purchase gifts and cards for HIS family's birthdays. If it gets forgotten, it's not his fault either, it's yours. It's irrelevant that he's known them for three decades and you've know them as little as a year maybe. You have that responsibility from... Around 6 months in to the relationship.

I'll never understand that.

I don't phone them unless I want to

Perhaps they text you because they want to?

Only on MN do I see posts like the OP. I don't see it as sexist that a MIL god forbid contacts her DIL to ask what the children would like for Christmas. Maybe they want to get their DS something for Christmas that he's mentioned to his wife that they don't know about

Fuck sake,

Normal men know what their children would like for Christmas and birthdays. The ones that don't tend to be asshats, and who the fuck wants to be married to one of them?

justcallmekate are you a MIL?

My mum always asks my sil what dn would like for Christmas or birthday.

It's nothing to do with the fact that sil has a vagina and breasts. It's more to do with the fact that sil is a bit of a cunt.

She moans if mum asks her. And moans if she asks dbro. She moaned the year mum gave gift vouchers instead. And then moaned when she gave cash.

So now dm asks what she would like for dn, 2 months before. Then buys it and confirms she has it.

Sil moaned this birthday that the gift dm had bought for dn had cluttered up the top of sil wardrobe for 3 weeks before dn bday.

But last Christmas she moaned that the present dm had bought 2 months before and wrapped 'smelt of cooking'. That's because dm lives in a flat so anything paper smells slightly of dinner.

Sil is a cunt.

MIL: "Tell DH it's his brother's birthday tomorrow"
Me: "Why, don't you have his number? It's 07XXX XXXXXX"
She stopped texting me with messages for him.
As someone already said, I'm not his secretary.