Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give up our bedroom or DD's for guests

185 replies

5FeetOfWater · 04/11/2016 08:59

We live in a small 3-bed. We have 1 bedroom, DD (15months) has another and the 3rd is an office/storage room. There's also a double sofa bed in the lounge but it's open plan with the kitchen so not ideal.

We usually give up our bedroom and sleep in with DD as there's a double bed in her room (it used to be guestroom). But I'm sick of all the work this entails- moving all our stuff, changing bedlinen, deep cleaning en-suites then changing it all back a few days later Angry And then disrupted sleep as we wake DD up sleeping in her room. She's just started sleeping through in her own room and backtracks when we have guests.

I think we should explain situation to potential guests, offer them the office/storage room if they don't mind a campbed, and suggest they book a hotel if they want a proper bed.

Guests are mainly family members and close friends. I want to be able to enjoy visits instead of hours spent cleaning and swapping rooms around. But DH loves having guests and thinks IABVU.

AIBU?

OP posts:
KinkyAfro · 04/11/2016 09:01

Well tell him to do the work if he loves guests so much

Artandco · 04/11/2016 09:01

Wouldn't it be easier to bring 15month old into your room? Leaving guests the other double?

Lovelybangers · 04/11/2016 09:06

Hotel every time.

I don't like having guests, and I don't enjoy being one.

Not in regular sized family homes - with shared bathrooms etc. I like my own space..

Arfarfanarf · 04/11/2016 09:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

honeylulu · 04/11/2016 09:08

Or pop DD cot in the office/study, then she still has her own space, you stay in your room and guests get to use a double bed.
And yy to getting your husband to do some of the prep/clearing up since he likes having guests so much!

Original poster
5FeetOfWater · 04/11/2016 09:10

He works long hours so can't help much. He always says it doesn't need to look like a 'hotel room' but I think any room you offer guests needs to be clean, fresh bedding, space for their stuff, en-suite deep cleaned. And I have to move the contents of ensuite, wardrobe, drawers, dressing table surface so we have access to our products, clothes, underwear etc.

I don't want to move DD as she's just started sleeping through. And would have to move all her clothes, nappies, changing stuff, nappy-bin, spare bedding etc so just as much work.

OP posts:
franincisco · 04/11/2016 09:15

Why do you have to move all of your stuff? I assume they are coming for a few nights rather than 6 months? I would hoover, clean ensuite and change bedding. If you need something from "their" room you just tell them and go in and get it.

TonyGunk · 04/11/2016 09:19

How long are your guests staying for? Is it really necessary to empty the wardrobes and drawers? I wouldn't expect that as a guest.

I'd give them DD's room and bring her into your room.

honeylulu · 04/11/2016 09:20

In that case give them the option of office/camp bed or hotel.
You absolutely should not have to move out of your room. I wouldn't especially as the guests have two options.

HermioneJeanGranger · 04/11/2016 09:20

Just move DD in with you.

honeylulu · 04/11/2016 09:21

Sorry I should have said they also have the option to sleep on sofa bed downstairs.

Bluntness100 · 04/11/2016 09:22

I agree, how long are they coming for? We have guests to stay often, and yes, sometimes we have a few and my daughter has to give up her room, she just packs an over night bag basically and dumps it in our room, there is no moving contents. You can still go in and get stuff during the day etc,

And yes, clean bedding is a must in my view. Sounds like you don't want people to come stay.

HermioneJeanGranger · 04/11/2016 09:28

Why do you have to move everything? Just go in and get stuff during the day as usual, surely? Confused

But it sounds like you don't want guests and are just making excuses. Why would you make them sleep on a camp bed when there's a double bed available?

NattyTile · 04/11/2016 09:30

Swap your daughter and the office. So she has small bedroom, office has double bed.

londonrach · 04/11/2016 09:31

Move dd into office and just take enough stuff for her overnight. Or move her into your room.

franincisco · 04/11/2016 09:31

Nothing tells a guest they aren't really welcome when they are sleeping in an office on a camp bed with the knowledge that there is an empty double bed.

hettie · 04/11/2016 09:32

You could get a desk/wall bed for the office?

EssentialHummus · 04/11/2016 09:33

Why not have DD in with you, as others say?

Longer term (depending on size of office) I'd either get a chair/small sofa that folds out into a bed - Ikea does great ones - or even a higher-end air mattress, That way you can all stay in your own rooms. We have one with an electric pump and a soft-top finish and it's very comfy.

Personally, I only give up my bed for older relatives. Everyone else makes do with the airbed in the spare room, the very comfy sofa, or a local hotel.

5moreminutes · 04/11/2016 09:34

Can you swap the rooms around so that the office/ storage room is more of an office/ guest room (put the double in there, or if the 3rd room is too small for that swap the rooms over so DD has the smaller room as her bedroom for the next few years if hosting guests is a big feature of and disruption to your life)?

Better DD has a small bedroom that really is hers, than her bigger room be DD's room / guest room surely?

I think some people's kids sleep through anywhere so they don't mind having them in with them, but other kids wake hourly if they are in with parents or their routine is disrupted - and when you have been sleep deprived for over a year already sleep is precious and predictable badly broken nights (for both adults and child who will then be grumpy) will suck any joy out of having guests and make you really resent them.

EssentialHummus · 04/11/2016 09:34

Sorry - xpost!

Lemon12345 · 04/11/2016 09:35

I'm sure there was a thread recently about a couple with a DC who wanted to spend Christmas with DM, but she insisted they had to stay in a hotel so DB didn't have to give up his room for the smaller room with a single bed... or something. Similar in many ways but it was the DM and DB in that thread that were being unreasonable...

whirlwinds · 04/11/2016 09:39

Why on earth do you move so much stuff for family and close friends? In both sides of the family here there is given a drawer for us to put things in, or things that get left behind is put into that drawer, that's it! The cleaning I second but the full move is not needed and can be explained to guests which people in most cases should understand.

Artandco · 04/11/2016 09:40

Why would you have to move everything out? Surely they are staying 1-2 nights. If you move child in, it's just grab mattress out of cot and put on your floor. Grab some nappies/ wipes and change of clothes for her. The rest you can get access to all day

Otherwise, seeing as guests are frequent, I would love daughters room to the smaller room. She will have just as much space as the other room has a double bed in anyway. Move office into the double guest room.

expatinscotland · 04/11/2016 09:41

'He works long hours so can't help much'

Oh, bullshit! He wants the guests, he does the work.

Artandco · 04/11/2016 09:42

And if you stay in your room and move baby it's just guest bed that needs changing when they leave. Get guests to take dirty bedding off for you

Swipe left for the next trending thread