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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner seems to think he's my landlord AIBU?

681 replies

user1476961324 · 20/10/2016 12:15

TLDR: My boyfriend wants me to move into his house, and is asking for me to contribute what he would consider ‘market rent’ if he rented the room out.

He owns the house outright, and the associated costs (bills etc) are paid by a family trust. I.e. he has no living costs to be there. He’s an adult, FYI, we are in our thirties.

He has recently asked me various questions about how much people rent rooms for, what bills cost etc. I thought he was just interested, as he has never had to pay these costs.

He told me today that he thinks that I should pay £850 per month to live in his flat as that would be the market rate if he let a room out.

I had volunteered to pay half of bills… but £850? It’s only a two bed flat, with no mortgage. I’ve told him where he can stick it.

Am I being unreasonable, or is he?

OP posts:
ToastDemon · 20/10/2016 12:18

Jesus, he is! How grubby!
When I moved in with my DH he didn't charge me a penny so that I could paye some debts off quicker. And he was paying a mortgage and bills unlike your silver spoon boy.

DoinItFine · 20/10/2016 12:18

He is being massively unreasonable.

Is he planning on giving you your own room and a contract?

That's what you get for market rent.

Also you don't shag your landlord.

NapQueen · 20/10/2016 12:18

Hibu.

If he has absolutely nothing to pay rent/mortgage wise then no way should you be paying any.

50% of bills. 50% of food shopping.

I at least he has shown you his true edit colours.

ToastDemon · 20/10/2016 12:18

Should have said grabby but it is a bit grubby.

trebleclef101 · 20/10/2016 12:18
Shock

He is BU, you are his partner not his tenant!

Plus I assume you will be sharing his room not living in the spare room?

What is he planning on doing with the money?

Mimicat44 · 20/10/2016 12:19

YANBU as presumably he actually wants you there to live with him as opposed to when you rent out a room you're doing it for money not the pleasure of their company! It'd be different if he was paying a mortgage but if you contributed to that I think you have a claim on part of the house as well (could be wrong) but in any case I'd be pretty wary of my partner was even having this thought process..

RetroImp · 20/10/2016 12:19

Is his first name Dagobert...? Stay in your own place and re-think your relationship.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 20/10/2016 12:20

Nice. So essentially he wants you to contribute to his savings? In all instances he'll be £850 better off and you'll be £850 worse off.

Decline. If he's so set on fairness he should let his house and you move in somewhere else rented together. Paying an equal percent. Although I would hazard a guess he would quibble over that too.

OliviaStabler · 20/10/2016 12:21

YANBU. I would expect to contribute to the bills but as there is no mortgage or rent to pay, I would not expect to pay market rent.

This would be a real worry for me, this type of tightness with money. Personally it is a huge turn off.

Aeroflotgirl · 20/10/2016 12:21

Run run for the hills, that is awful! He sees you as a freeloading lodger, and not his loving partner, that would be a dealbreaker.

dinosaursarebisexual · 20/10/2016 12:21

What a spoilt tosser.

HorridHenrietta2 · 20/10/2016 12:22

You've already told him where to go? Please tell me you ditched the tight bastard too? Grin

viques · 20/10/2016 12:22

Fair enough, can you ask him to extend his research activities to the current rates for overnight stays from top end escorts as you will need to fund the cost of your rent to him somehow.

Original poster
user1476961324 · 20/10/2016 12:22

I’m tempted to move into the spare room, put a lock on the door (inside and outside?), and be a really badly behaved tenant for a while. Invite lots of friends round for a party at 4am and eat anything he leaves in the fridge.

Just to really make my point.

OP posts:
GailLondon · 20/10/2016 12:22

Thats really steep!
Tell him he is welcome to rent his second room out for £850 to a stranger if he wants.
No, I think your offer of paying half of house costs (bills) is perfectly fair. I mean, does he really expect you to live there for as long as the relationship lasts, paying him all this money, then if you split up some time you would be many thousands of pounds down, with no mortgage or house of your own.
Ridiculous!

Aeroflotgirl · 20/10/2016 12:23

I would ask for a contract, and have the same legal rights as a tenant, tosser. Your best off without him.

FlapsTie · 20/10/2016 12:23

That's just disgusting. I couldn't be with someone so grabby.

Smartleatherbag · 20/10/2016 12:24

Bloody hell, what a tosser. I hope you get shot of him. That's massively grabby.

Caper86 · 20/10/2016 12:24

No mortgage? Then what does he want all that money for? Unless he's planning on taking you on some pretty impressive holidays HIBU

LottieDoubtie · 20/10/2016 12:24

Well done OP. Don't waiver. What a twat.

Jackiebrambles · 20/10/2016 12:25

Ha! What a cheeky twat!

Glad you've told him to jog on.

ChequeOff · 20/10/2016 12:25

Run like the wind op and don't look back.

SleepFreeZone · 20/10/2016 12:25

And you want to continue a relationship with him???

WhisperingLoudly · 20/10/2016 12:25

I'd run a mile - I cannot bear people who are tight with their money and this is the worst sort of meanness. It costs him nothing to have you move in so it's pure profit.

StarlingMurmuration · 20/10/2016 12:28

HIBU! What a dick. Before DP and I found a house to rent together, he offered for me to live with him rent free (in his rented flat) so I could save up and pay off some debts. Dump him, you can't stay with someone who basically wants to make a profit from you!