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AIBU?

To be so bloody angry with OH?

218 replies

CheeseAndBeans · 02/10/2016 06:53

Because I am! He went out last night with the lads. Not something he does very often so was expecting him to be a bit hungover this morning. He said he may stay at mates as saves on taxi fare plus he didn't want to disturb me and our two kids. All fine.
I get woken up by 2 year old DD coming in to our room at 5.30 to say daddy is cleaning the stairs. He then comes into the bedroom and announces he has shit himself on the stairs! Wtf?! He is steaming drunk and gets into bed, waking 3 month old DD in the process.
I get up to see what's happened and he had shat all up stairs. Cream carpet in rented house. Argh!
Go back into bedroom to yell at him to clean it up and he is snoring in the middle of the bed, can't wake him.
Kids wide awake by this point so bring them downstairs. Feed 3 month old and sat 2 year old in front of peppa pig on tv. I have now scrubbed the stairs, but whole house stinks. I am so so angry!!
Can't believe he got in such a state. He is usually amazing. Hardly goes out and is great with the kids but he has really pissed me off. How can a grown adult get in such a mess? He had sprayed carpet cleaner randomly on it and clothes in pile by washing machine. The water all over bathroom suggests he had a wash.
We have plans today to go out to see family, my side. AIBU to just get the kids ready and go without him in a few hours? I can't see him being in any state to go and to be honest I don't want to spend the day with him!

OP posts:

Report

HerFaceIsaMapOfTheWorld · 02/10/2016 11:45

Ewww baking soda and white vinegar that shit!

liletsthepink · 02/10/2016 11:46

I cross posted. Op, I'm glad he's apologising to you.

Jaxhog · 02/10/2016 11:53

Mine did something similar once. It's horrible, and I was very, very angry. I went out for the day and left a note that everything had to be sorted by the time I came back. It was.

He never did it again.

Fluffyears · 02/10/2016 11:55

It was just a one off. He was trying to cleanup as well so I think as long as he cleans up and apologises then you can forgive him.

Iamdobby63 · 02/10/2016 11:55

So where was he until 5.30 am?

Blu · 02/10/2016 11:57

Bloody hell, YANBU to be bloody angry.

Good that he is sorry and cleaning.

Don't use Milton - it is basically bleach.

Of course you had to clean it up, you couldn't have your 2 year old tramping about in it every time you needed to go up or down stairs.

He might have been ill as well as drunk- you said he had nothing to eat, I wondered if so much drink had gone hand in hand with a dodgy hot dog van or takeaway curry?

But he was still in making racket at 5.30 and legless.

Serious talk later.

I hope this has given him the lesson he needs.

CheeseAndBeans · 02/10/2016 11:59

They all went back to his mates house, more drinking and poker til early hours. Bet he is shattered, but that's his fault.
Oh I will forgive him, I already have really - shit happens. Once I got out and away from the smell I fell less angry. He just has to be extra nice to me for a while, I reckon I can milk this one!

OP posts:

Jumperbunny · 02/10/2016 12:04

I never cease to be amazed on mn at the low standards many women accept & how they minimise their partners behaviour, yet come on here to complain about it. What your dh did was hugely disrespectful. And if he can behave like this it makes me wonder what other twatty behaviours he gets away with? I think it's shameful. Grow your self esteem, this is the behaviour of a twatty 16yo not a responsible family man. He'd be on a final warning with me.

WatchingFromTheWings · 02/10/2016 12:05

My ExH did that once. Shit himself in the street and it ran down his leg. He left a trail from the front door, through the hall, lounge, kitchen and into the toilet. I thought he'd just farted (horrid smell followed him!) and it wasn't until I went to use the toilet a little later and saw shit EVERYWHERE that I noticed the trail through the house. Thought it was odd he'd put his clothes in the machine and jumped in the shower. By the time I'd noticed it all he was snoring on the sofa. Literally went nuts to wake him up to clean up. He was so drunk he did a bad job of it then passed out on the sofa again leaving me to finish the cleaning. I made sure all his family knew about it the following day.

TroysMammy · 02/10/2016 12:06

"Shit happens"

Jumperbunny · 02/10/2016 12:06

Says a lot about you op that you're happy to 'milk it'

BummyMummy77 · 02/10/2016 12:06

I was going to say - I'd milk this bad boy for all its worth op.

He didn't do it on purpose. He didn't do it to hurt op. He's not done it before. Everyone will live.

BummyMummy77 · 02/10/2016 12:08

Jumper - that's snarky. No need for that.

rhiaaaaaaaannon · 02/10/2016 12:08

I can't believe the amount of people who would be giving a final warning.
The poor guy doesn't go out often and he got carried away.
If it was my dh I'd be pretty pissed off but would clean it and take him a drink of water up. Then I'd leave him to sleep it off and wait for the apology. I know he would do the sane for me too.

TheStoic · 02/10/2016 12:10

I can't believe the amount of people who would be giving a final warning.

I just can't imagine ever wanting to have sex again with someone who got so drunk that they shat on my stairs.

MistressDeeCee · 02/10/2016 12:17

I think its shameful, Id hate it but at least its not regular behaviour I suppose. Then again Im minded to think there's all sorts of nonsense you have to put up with when living with a man, thats why I won't do it again I cba, separate homes works well. Im not dissing women who do it tho, only my thoughts. Kids mess I can be bothered with, adults mess not so much

As its not regular I wouldn't be issuing a final warning but our sex life would go down the pan...... how could you be turned on & do the do without images of your man shitting himself + the stink of it all, cleaning it up etc popping into your mind? Not sure I could do it! Good luck OP is all I can say, and hope you sort things out and at least feel better soon

rhiaaaaaaaannon · 02/10/2016 12:21

But it was an accident. No one shits on the stairs on purpose. It is disgusting but I doubt he's proud of it!

You need to look after each other for a marriage to work imo. Op said he's never acted like this before so the chances are he won't do it again.

TheStoic · 02/10/2016 12:25

But it was an accident. No one shits on the stairs on purpose. It is disgusting but I doubt he's proud of it!

Well, obviously it was an accident. That's the turn off.

CheeseAndBeans · 02/10/2016 12:30

Yes I will milk it jumper , in the same way that he would if I screwed up.
My standards are not low. He is amazing in every other way, I am very happy in my relationship and have plenty of self esteem thank you very much!

OP posts:

VinoTime · 02/10/2016 12:35

Nope. Sorry. I can't get on board with this one. I can't even see a funny side...to any of it. What kind of person gets themselves into such a state that they shit not only themselves, but all over a rented house? That is beyond fucking vile. I don't think I'd ever be able to look at them the same way again.

You can understand needing to clear up after somebody in such a way if they are a baby/toddler, incontinent, suffer certain health problems, disabled or elderly. I will never understand an adult in their 30's drinking to such excess that they shit themselves and smear it all over a stair carpet - in a rented house.

I'd have packed his fucking bags and allowed him the honor of explaining to folk why his shitty arse was out on the curb. And yes, I am being 100% serious. What if the children had been older and more aware? What a fine example to be setting to them as a parent

Gross beyond words and a total deal breaker for me, personally. I wouldn't want him touching me ever again.

lemonzest123 · 02/10/2016 12:45

Oh dear OP, sorry you have to deal with this shit! I think, if its genuinely a one off, you will probably laugh about this is years to come (and torture him mercilessly).

bloodyteenagers · 02/10/2016 12:46

I really couldn't be with anyone that got so drunk they pissed or shit themselves. It's nothing to be proud of.
I have been so hammered that I don't remember beyond a certain point (I am not proud of this). But even in that state I have managed to get myself to the toilet.
I couldn't have any respect for someone who did this. And to clean up more than once? Fuck no.

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expatinscotland · 02/10/2016 12:49

I used to drink so much I'm surprised I'm still alive. I mean, a lot. And hang out with people who drank like that. I'd pass out, I'd get sick (and funny that, always in a bowl or the toilet), but never once pissed myself or the bed or shit myself and never once knew a man who did this. Because I'd unknown him in record time.

VinoTime · 02/10/2016 12:50

You need to look after each other for a marriage to work imo.

I'd consider my marriage well and truly broken if my OH ever treated me with such despicable disrespect. I'd be questioning if I actually knew this person at all.

'In sickness and in health' does not equal 'I drank so much I shat all over the house, Darling. I'm sure between you and the toddler you'll be able to 1001 the problem away.'

Jumperbunny · 02/10/2016 12:51

Great example for your children

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