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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so bloody angry with OH?

218 replies

CheeseAndBeans · 02/10/2016 06:53

Because I am! He went out last night with the lads. Not something he does very often so was expecting him to be a bit hungover this morning. He said he may stay at mates as saves on taxi fare plus he didn't want to disturb me and our two kids. All fine.
I get woken up by 2 year old DD coming in to our room at 5.30 to say daddy is cleaning the stairs. He then comes into the bedroom and announces he has shit himself on the stairs! Wtf?! He is steaming drunk and gets into bed, waking 3 month old DD in the process.
I get up to see what's happened and he had shat all up stairs. Cream carpet in rented house. Argh!
Go back into bedroom to yell at him to clean it up and he is snoring in the middle of the bed, can't wake him.
Kids wide awake by this point so bring them downstairs. Feed 3 month old and sat 2 year old in front of peppa pig on tv. I have now scrubbed the stairs, but whole house stinks. I am so so angry!!
Can't believe he got in such a state. He is usually amazing. Hardly goes out and is great with the kids but he has really pissed me off. How can a grown adult get in such a mess? He had sprayed carpet cleaner randomly on it and clothes in pile by washing machine. The water all over bathroom suggests he had a wash.
We have plans today to go out to see family, my side. AIBU to just get the kids ready and go without him in a few hours? I can't see him being in any state to go and to be honest I don't want to spend the day with him!

OP posts:
1potato2potato3potato4 · 02/10/2016 07:24

There is a vanish carpet cleaning stuff you can get, maybe suggest it in the note. And Milton.

AmberLynne · 02/10/2016 07:27

1potato you stole my entire post! Shock

But I admit you said it better than me WinkGrin

skyyequake · 02/10/2016 07:28

Get you and the kids ready to go out and then just before you do, open every window in the house. Now the house is left to air with the added benefit of him waking up to a freezing cold house!

Also agree with PP about leaving a note.

Disgusting. I feel a bit sick just having read that tbh can't imagine how you must feel!

confusedandemployed · 02/10/2016 07:29

Tesco, larger Co-Ops hire rug doctor machines. He can go and get one when he surfaces. If that doesn't work he can fork out for professionals....and failing that a new carpet.

JustGettingStarted · 02/10/2016 07:31

This sounds like a one off. Of course I'd be upset but I think he'll be mortified.

Original poster
CheeseAndBeans · 02/10/2016 07:31

Milton! Fab idea, thanks. The carpet cleaner we have (1001) stinks and isn't great. At least Milton might get rid of the smell too.
I have no doubt he will be very embarrassed when he wakes and will grovel. I am not in the mood to except an apology right mow. Definitely going out without him. Will tell family he was sick... I am too embarrassed to say my OH can't be there because he shat himself on the stairs. Mortifying!

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 02/10/2016 07:32

I too have only ever heard of this on MN.

This would put me off him for life.

I'd leave him behind today.

whattodowiththepoo · 02/10/2016 07:35

I feel really sorry for him, you as well but he will be mortified.

Oysterbabe · 02/10/2016 07:37

How does that even happen?

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 02/10/2016 07:37

I'm assuming his clothes by the washing machine are shit covered too? I'm intrigued as to how you get poo all up the stairs whilst fully clothed, or did he strip off before shitting up the stairs??

Either way I would be furious even if it was uncharacteristic for him. And there's no way I'd want him around me today

Unicorn1981 · 02/10/2016 07:41

Just on a practical note Dr Beckmann carpet cleaner is really good. And bicarbonate of soda gets out smells. I would be furious if my dp did that but I probably would've taken a picture of him cleaning it up and threatened to put it on Facebook if he didn't do all the chores for the next week and get up with both children all next weekend while you have a lie in Wink

moreslackthanslick · 02/10/2016 07:44

Another one totally confused on how that could even happen.

Sorry OP YANBU but if it's out of character and he makes good on the cleaning up today then hopefully you can move on from it.

whattodowiththepoo · 02/10/2016 07:47

I'm surprised so many people would be so angry, if my DP was so ill she shat herself I would be cleaning up and doing what ever I could to help even if she was very drunk at the time.

Bettercallsaul1 · 02/10/2016 07:47

That's exactly what I was wondering, sparepants - clothes would normally "contain" most of the mess. Unless it was diarrhoea, which would be a different story.

Unicorn1981 · 02/10/2016 07:48

Had he been out for a curry or something?

Sara107 · 02/10/2016 07:49

On a practical note, agree with others suggesting Rugdoctor. You can get them so many places ( book online, pick up from nearest outlet).They do a great job and aren't very expensive. Obviously your dh should do this...but you may not want to live with the filth until he surfaces.
Washing shit out of clothes, urgh! My dD has had withholding/soiling issues and tbh it needs to be precleaned before going into the washing machine to remove any solids and the staining and even smell will survive a 40oC wash. I would bag them up and bin them.
I would not want him to go out with me for the day, it may take a long while for him to sober up and personally I would not be able to look at dh without gagging if something like that happened. Even if he went in his pants, how the hell did it get onto the carpet????

Phalenopsisgirl · 02/10/2016 07:50

Just read this aloud to dh as we sit in bed with our tea. We both roared with laughter so you are bringing joy by sharing your misery, thanks and sorry. It was the random spritz of carpet cleaner that particularly amused me. Go out, enjoy your day, stay out as long as possible to let the stink clear. There is no way he'll be functioning today. Find somewhere for nice afternoon tea or a nice pub lunch, then bill him for it.

Groundhogday2016 · 02/10/2016 07:52

How is it even possible to shit on the stairs? Did he strip off at the bottom and then crawl up slowly naked or something?

GizmoFrisby · 02/10/2016 07:54

I don't think he was illHmm I think he was too pissed to get upstairs to the toilet. If he was just ill I'm sure that would be a bit different. It was self inflicted.

Original poster
CheeseAndBeans · 02/10/2016 07:55

His clothes are clean, but just found his pants in the bin, eugh. Taken bin bag out. No idea how this was possible! Bloody twat!
Rug doctor is a good shout. His wallet is on the side so may go out and hire one with his money and leave it for him when he wakes up.

OP posts:
Katastrophe13 · 02/10/2016 07:58

I am so sorry for you that you had to wake up to this. I defo would leave him at home and not admit to my family the horror of what he has done. Even if he is mortified, he stills needs to make up to you the fact that you had to clean his shit off the stairs this morning. Update us later with the story of last night. I am intrigued as to how much you have to drink to lose control of your bowels. Get out of the house asap and try and enjoy your day.

WinterLeaf · 02/10/2016 07:58

It's horrible for you to deal with and I would be annoyed/horrified in your situation.

But he will be very embarassed and ashamed when he wakes up. I think you'd be cruel to make him feel worse. He clearly didn't do it on purpose or as a prank.
It was out of character so maybe he was ill as well as drunk? Surely alcohol alone can't cause that? Maybe he had food poisoning or norovirus and couldn't get to the loo in time.

If I were you I'd book a professional carpet cleaner and say no more about it.

Zippidydoodah · 02/10/2016 07:58

My child had diarrhoea recently and it went absolutely everywhere, despite him being clothed at the time. If can happen.

srslylikeomg · 02/10/2016 08:00

Dr Beckmann is very good. I feel a bit sorry for the guy, it's an accident. A very stupid never-to-be-repeated accident. Bit harsh to say 'don't cover up for him' imagine! "Oh sorry mum, DH didn't come today because he's shat all up the stairs" poor bloke!

kissmybuttlife · 02/10/2016 08:01

Personally, I'd be reconsidering my relationship after this. What a twat. It's so juvenile drinking to that excess, how old is he? And he has kids too!

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