To be so bloody angry with OH?

[CheeseAndBeans]

Because I am! He went out last night with the lads. Not something he does very often so was expecting him to be a bit hungover this morning. He said he may stay at mates as saves on taxi fare plus he didn't want to disturb me and our two kids. All fine.
I get woken up by 2 year old DD coming in to our room at 5.30 to say daddy is cleaning the stairs. He then comes into the bedroom and announces he has shit himself on the stairs! Wtf?! He is steaming drunk and gets into bed, waking 3 month old DD in the process.
I get up to see what's happened and he had shat all up stairs. Cream carpet in rented house. Argh!
Go back into bedroom to yell at him to clean it up and he is snoring in the middle of the bed, can't wake him.
Kids wide awake by this point so bring them downstairs. Feed 3 month old and sat 2 year old in front of peppa pig on tv. I have now scrubbed the stairs, but whole house stinks. I am so so angry!!
Can't believe he got in such a state. He is usually amazing. Hardly goes out and is great with the kids but he has really pissed me off. How can a grown adult get in such a mess? He had sprayed carpet cleaner randomly on it and clothes in pile by washing machine. The water all over bathroom suggests he had a wash.
We have plans today to go out to see family, my side. AIBU to just get the kids ready and go without him in a few hours? I can't see him being in any state to go and to be honest I don't want to spend the day with him!

[Katastrophe13]

I'm totally with you op. You should milk it. No he didn't do it on purpose but the result of his actions was that you were up at 5.30am with a baby and toddler scrubbing shit off the stairs. You have every right to feel angry and he should do something to make it up to you. Not sure why some people think it is worthy of breaking your family up over though. I would've hated my mum if she'd divorced my dad for getting drunk and doing a poo on the stairs ONE time.

[SpareASquare]

Whose perfect?

I wouldn't tell the OP to LTB, totally her call.

But there i nothing wrong with those who have the bar raised a little higher.
I never understand the acceptance in setting it so low

[WankingMonkey]

Ugh that is disgusting. I had an issue with DH (before we had kids) getting so drunk he puked all over the house then promptly fell asleep IN IT. I just cannot understand how people can get to that state. It was made worse by my intense phobia of vomit..so I had to just leave him there, but then I got paranoid that he would puke again and choke or something so had to send his dad round. His dad went down his neck and we have never had a situation similar again.

Shitting yourself when pissed though, is not something I have ever came across. Is it possible that he was actually ill aswell as pissed? Just..for it to be all over the carpet it must have been runny. Not that that excuses it or anything

I honestly don't know how I would deal with this situation at all...

[froubylou]

How is his head now OP?

Just ignore the frothers. He sounds a decent bloke who made an error of judgement in how much he drank. It happens. Some people end up fighting, some are abusive arses, some pass out, some are sick. Some people shit themselves.

Hopefully it won't happen again. Hopefully he will be sorry and hopefully you won't ltb.

But all this pearl clutching over shit does make me smile. My DP had a stoma for 4 years. Occasionally it would come loose. Occasionally we had to strip the bed and take a shower. It was more likely to happen if he was really deeply asleep like after a drink. So you could argue it was caused by drinking.

I didn't ltb. Simply dealt with the accident and moved on.

And then there was the puppy incident when whippet puppy got upstairs in the bathroom and brought a used stoma bag whilst i was cleaning upstairs. Apparently she needed to really kill her new smelly friend and shook it very very hard repeatadly in the living room. Took about 2 hours to clean up and the curtains didn't do so well in the wash.

I didn't ltd either.

[MaddyHatter]

tbh, i think ending your marriage over one night and a stupid accident that he is sorry for and tried to clean up himself, is a total over reaction.

Some people need to remove the stick from up their arses.

If it was a regular occurrence, that'd be a totally different kettle of fish.

[ReadyToSignOff]

Don't worry OP, I would be milking this one too... It was horrible, but if it was a one off and totally out of character, it seems a bit excessive to leave your DH over one incident. My DH usually just falls asleep when he has too much to drink - thankfully!

[MaQueen]

Leave him? Really? Over reaction much?

It was a grim one off. Milk it for all it's worth, but move on...

[skyyequake]

People saying LTB over this are clearly major drama llamas

But yes totally milk it! Every time he grumbles about having to do something for the foreseeable future you can just look at him with a raised eyebrow and say "you shat on the stairs"

[VanellopeVonSchweetz99]

DH did a similar thing about 15 years ago. Very out of character and he was so full of remorse he could barely look at me. (Turned out later he had a medical bum problem that can affect defecation. He had surgery soon after.)
Yes it was beyond fucking gross but didn't stop me fancying him. We were laughing about it the same afternoon as I recall.

[BummyMummy77]

Haha. Dh just asked what i was posting about and huffyly reminded me I go nuts when he dribbles piss on the toilet seat, said if he shat on the stairs I'd probably smash his knee caps.

[HighwayDragon1]

Could he have been spiked? I remember a friend of mine had her drink spiked and she shat herself :(

[WankingMonkey]

Every time he grumbles about having to do something for the foreseeable future you can just look at him with a raised eyebrow and say "you shat on the stairs"

Its almost worth this happening just do you can give this reaction for the near future tbh. I don 't think I could actually say the word shat out loud without laughing my head off.

[crayfish]

Sadly this does happen in real life but people don't tell anyone. I finally left my ExH after one such incident, but the difference was that for us it was just the last straw and he had always been a problem drinker. The shit was new but pissing and puking all over the house was par for the course.

I have never told any of my friends. My (lovely and practically tee total - what a surprise) DH knows but I didn't tell him for ages. I guess I was embarrassed that my exH had so little regard for me that he actually thought it was acceptable for me to be cleaning up his shit at 4am.

[trippsock]

It was an accident! People really need to calm down, the OP has said it's out of character for him.
Yes it is disgusting and yes he should have cleaned it up properly at the time but if he was steaming drunk I can understand how he couldn't!
As long as he has cleaned it completely today and aired the whole house and did some major grovelling then I can't see any reason to carry on being angry. I'm sure he will be mortified today and will watch how much he drinks in future for fear of something like this happening again.

[nocoolnamesleft]

Milk it. Shitting himself was an accident. Getting drunk enough to shit himself wasn't. And next time he plans to go out to get drunk, remind him that you would be much less impressed if it happened again.

[TotallyOuting]

Euphemia I'm crying

[chattygranny]

You made me chuckle with this one:
Euphemia
I saw a shit - where? There on the stair!
Where on the stair? Right there!
Daddy had no pants on – well, I declare!
Going poop-poopety-poop on the stair - oh yeah!
Very good!
IMO OP is rightly furious and a repeat would raise major questions but it's a first and everything else is good so LTB is way offline IMO.

[ZippyNeedsFeeding]

Mr Zippy would never, ever do this. I am absolutely certain of this fact. We live in a bungalow, so no stairs! I almost (but not quite) wish he would, I could milk it for bloody years!

It would take more than that for me to LTB though. If anything, I'd have to make sure he was okay and his blood sugar wasn't in real trouble (he's diabetic). Once I knew there was no damage, I'd resume the merciless mocking/blackmail though.

[FishSauce555]

Used to work in a hotel. People shit themselves a lot! Sometimes due to alcoho or drugs, sometimes due to food, age can play a part as obviously can illness.

We're all human, and it's the way things can pan out...

You can dine on this story FOREVER though, 'remember that time you shalt yourself on the stairs honey? '

[skyyequake]

Karma What part of he never goes out/this was completely out of character/this was the first time anything like this has happened did you completely miss from the OP? Someone getting blind drunk one time and making a mistake doesn't mean they have a bloody drinking problem!

[RichardBucket]

I wouldn't leave him over this because it's ONE occasion, but I would probably be unable to look at him the same way for a good few weeks!

I have a modicum of sympathy as I vomited up the stairs recently. I wasn't drunk - am diabetic and was in ketoacidosis, didn't make it to the bathroom - but I totally get that feeling of not being able to hold it in a second longer.

[Purplebluebird]

Oh god how horrific!! That's disgusting :P I bet he feels very embarrassed today. Hope he manages to clean it up properly and replace the carpet ideally! And hope it never happens again. Those saying LTB are overreacting massively.

[MaQueen]

Christ, can't believe how dour and puritanical some posters are. Drinking problem...really?

I got so hopelessly drunk on NYE that DH had to physically carry me upstairs to bed. And, yes, I might have been a teeny bit sick the next morning didn't get up until tea time

But, I didn't have another drink until after Easter. So no, I really, really do not have a 'drink problem'.