To be so bloody angry with OH?

[CheeseAndBeans]

Because I am! He went out last night with the lads. Not something he does very often so was expecting him to be a bit hungover this morning. He said he may stay at mates as saves on taxi fare plus he didn't want to disturb me and our two kids. All fine.
I get woken up by 2 year old DD coming in to our room at 5.30 to say daddy is cleaning the stairs. He then comes into the bedroom and announces he has shit himself on the stairs! Wtf?! He is steaming drunk and gets into bed, waking 3 month old DD in the process.
I get up to see what's happened and he had shat all up stairs. Cream carpet in rented house. Argh!
Go back into bedroom to yell at him to clean it up and he is snoring in the middle of the bed, can't wake him.
Kids wide awake by this point so bring them downstairs. Feed 3 month old and sat 2 year old in front of peppa pig on tv. I have now scrubbed the stairs, but whole house stinks. I am so so angry!!
Can't believe he got in such a state. He is usually amazing. Hardly goes out and is great with the kids but he has really pissed me off. How can a grown adult get in such a mess? He had sprayed carpet cleaner randomly on it and clothes in pile by washing machine. The water all over bathroom suggests he had a wash.
We have plans today to go out to see family, my side. AIBU to just get the kids ready and go without him in a few hours? I can't see him being in any state to go and to be honest I don't want to spend the day with him!

[KinkyAfro]

Oh do fuck off jumper

[TroysMammy]

What's blown up your cotton tail jumper? As Kinky says.

[lemonzest123]

Jeez jumper sounds like you want to personally deliver the divorce papers.

[Justaboy]

Does you hubby partner never ever disgrace himself in any way Bunny?

[lemonzest123]

cheeseandbeans I'm with you on this one....as long as was genuinely a one off I'd yell at him, get him to clean properly then relentlessly mock him.

But I'd still ultimately love him, even if he is a bit of a pooey stupid-bum.

[CheeseAndBeans]

I started this thread to ask AIBU to go out without him for the day, as I was so angry at him. Not asking if I should leave him, end a perfectly good relationship over an accident (albeit a disgusting accident!) Staying with my kids loving father, who loves me, and who I love dearly is setting a bad example to my kids?!

[MrsNuckyThompson]

I would have thrown a bucket of iced water over him in bed and MADE him clean that up himself. Vomit or even a random pee is one thing but how the fvck does a grown adult shit themself????

[CheeseAndBeans]

lemon He shall now be known as pooey stupid bum

[gertyglossop]

...because binge drinking to the point where you lose control of your bowels and leaving the resulting mess for someone else to clean up, then spoiling plans that had been made for the family is setting a quite excellent example to the children.

[gertyglossop]

That was for Jumper.

[Sendcoffeeandchocs]

Yanbu.
Mine would be in the doghouse for a loooooong time if he did something like that.

[bloodymaria]

Great example for your children

[TheStoic]

I actually don't really understand the point of being angry about this. What's the point of keeping him 'in the doghouse', or 'milking it'? Is it to train him not to shit in the house again?

If it's not a dealbreaker, and clearly it isn't, forget it and move on.

[Crunchymum]

Years ago something similar happened to a friend (she was the drunkee though)..... she felt ill after a night out on the piss and trashed another friends bathroom made a shitty mess, badly tried to clean it, then puked and then passed out

Said friend is now teetotal and has been since that incident. Drink friend and friend with shitty bathroom are still friends, drunk friend hired a professional cleaner to come in, after attacking it herself when she was sober.

[Trifleorbust]

OP, of course it was disgusting and he needs to grovel (and not drink like this again!) but this is one incident in a long, long life. You will laugh about this in ten years.

[LearningHowToFly]

I really feel for you, tell him what he's done and show him the effect its had on you. My DH was raised by alcoholics and this kind of behaviour was completely normal. When we started dating he considered it a poor night out if he hadn't had 10 pints and went out 7 nights a week. I saw another side to him and showed him another way of life. We took it slowly, I've spent many a Saturday morning angrily recounting the events of his return on a Friday night. I've cried and walked out more times than I care to recall. I always made him clean up any mess. We are now married, have two boys who have never seen him drunk and it has been nearly a year since he went out drinking. I'm glad I stuck with him and we worked through it, he's a wonderful DH and I wouldn't change him for the world.

[thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter]

Sounds like it's a one off, I just hope he makes a good job cleaning up.

To PPs who basically can't believe grown people do this, unfortunately in my experience they do. I grew up with quite a few alcoholics in the family and many a time as a child I have had to step over them lying in their puddle of piss the next morning, I didn't even think it was that odd or that it wasn't normal for grown ups to do this - how sad is that!

[Trifleorbust]

He doesn't sound like an alcoholic, does he? Hardly ever goes out.

[gillybeanz]

It would be the first and last time he did it if he was my dh.
You need to talk to him about it never happening again, what a way to behave when you are a parent, it's disgusting.
As for laughing at it in the future, no I never would.

[MaxineRockatansky]

Wow. It says a lot about our binge drinking culture when a grown man shitting on the stairs is considered an amusing accident.

Utterly disgusting.

[Trifleorbust]

Well, I think I would. I laughed when I read it, to be honest. Yes, it's gross. Nobody's perfect and as long as it never happens again, there is no real harm done.

[rookiemere]

I have a friend who used to drink a lot and she once pooed in the bed. I know this as her DH told me the story. He thought it was funny ( he was drunk at the time too).

It's not ideal and it's certainly not something that I've ever done myself, or indeed DH - but he once did puke out of a B&B window and that was only a year ago after too many beers.

However I don't get that it's LTB territory. Sure if it happens again then it may be worth considering, but the DH is contrite, he is according to OP, generally a very good husband and father, does not appear to have an ongoing alcohol issue, so yes make sure he cleans it all up and I'd be giving him stern lectures for his next few nights out, but suggesting that OP leaves him whilst ripping up the carpet seems like a bit of an overreaction.

[DeadGood]

It's a beer thing I think. The females I know tend not to drink much of the stuff and are also more able to drink in moderation so it doesn't happen to them. But I have heard guys talk about bad 'exotic beer' shit experiences

[rhiaaaaaaaannon]

Leave the frothers to it op. It's gross but out of character. Leaving him to sleep is probably the kindest thing you can do.
Hope you manage to get the stain and smell out!

[Mybugslife]

It's like no one on mn has ever made a mistake?

Oh wait I forgot you're all perfect

I could understand all the ''bloody hell id leave him' 'I'd never be able to have sex with again' etc etc comments if he'd done it time and time again but seriously the OP has said he's never done anything like that before and he's usually lovely, he's woken up ashamed and apologetic and had cleaned up.

I very much doubt he'll be doing it again...now get on with your life With your husband and children OP and make sure you take the piss wherever possible