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AIBU?

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Original poster

Gran to mind special needs baby while parents go on bender at festival

182 replies

purplemonkeywashesdishes · 05/09/2016 14:59

Title says it all.

Baby with special needs to be left with recently widowed granny while parents go to a three day festival as they need a break.

Does anyone else see this as entitled behaviour or am I just a complete bitch to think this is taking advantage?

Some background:
Parents are in their mid-40s and will be taking drugs at said festival
Food will not be supplied to granny, despite the fact that the baby is only 7 months and is in the process of being weaned (yet won't always take bottles and eats very little)
Baby wakes multiple times throughout the night
Granny will have to drive 50 miles to collect baby
Baby makes strange, is very unsettled
Granny is recently widowed and has no support

...but apparently they need a break...they have had a hard few months but how is going to a festival and going on a bender a break?

OP posts:
LeonardInTheArgosBag · 05/09/2016 15:00

Did they hold a gun to Granny's head?

GlitteryFluff · 05/09/2016 15:02

Do you have a child with extra needs op?

Spaghettidog · 05/09/2016 15:02

The first question that comes to mind is why you feel so personally peeved by it, to be honest, and how you know so much detail, like the fact that the parents aren't giving the grandmother any food? (Though if he's not fully weaned, and eats as you say very little, what would be the point?)

SloanePeterson · 05/09/2016 15:03

Not your business. If someone offered to have my son with additional needs you wouldn't see me for dust. Needing a break isn't a hangable offence

ChocolateButton15 · 05/09/2016 15:03

Granny might be looking forward to it? She could of said no

Rockpebblestone · 05/09/2016 15:03

How do you know all this?

If the grandparent is happy and able to look after the baby there is no reason why she shouldn't, SN or no SN.

Regarding their behaviour, anything legal, I would say is perfectly reasonable, as long as all people involved are happy with the arrangement.

TattiePants · 05/09/2016 15:03

Unless you are the Gran (in which case say no) then what does it have to do with you?

TheLegendOfBeans · 05/09/2016 15:03

And why the giddy fuck is it your business?

You sound like an interfering fishwife of the worst bloody kind.

LagunaBubbles · 05/09/2016 15:04

Why are you so bothered if Gran is ok with it?

JacquesHammer · 05/09/2016 15:05

Why so interested OP

Absolutely nothing wrong with anything in your OP. The only question in my mind would be the associated risks with drug taking but certainly not just because they're parents.

And they probably do, very much need a break

kali110 · 05/09/2016 15:05

So if the baby had no special needs that would be fine?
What about if it was a holiday and not a festival?
You sound like judgemental snob Biscuit

Ollycat · 05/09/2016 15:05

Are you the grandmother? If so you shouldn't have agreed!

Otherwise Fran obviously said yes. I imagine it must have been a stressful few months for the parents so yes I can see that they may want a break. If they are generally good parents it's not for us to judge how they spend thus time.

GrimmauldPlace · 05/09/2016 15:05

I'm confused. Who is Granny? Is she happy with the arrangement?

YelloDraw · 05/09/2016 15:05

I'm sure they do need a break! If gran is happy to babysit for 3 days why not. How much food does a baby eat anyway?

kali110 · 05/09/2016 15:05

Yes, the title says it all Hmm

EdmundCleverClogs · 05/09/2016 15:06

First post says it all really....

SouthWestmom · 05/09/2016 15:06

Did you want granny to have your kids op?

Ollycat · 05/09/2016 15:06

Gran not Fran!

Dolphinsanddinosaurs · 05/09/2016 15:06

Yes, you are right OP, how awful that a loving Grandparent, should be expected to help her DC by looking after their child for a few days. These families that help each other out, should be ashamed of themselves!

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 05/09/2016 15:07

No they should stay in constantly. Now they are parents their lives should solely revolve around the baby. They should also cut all family members out just in case one of them wants to spend time with the baby Hmm

SaucyJack · 05/09/2016 15:08

What does Granny think about it?

Rachcakes · 05/09/2016 15:08

Presumably if gran is recently widowed, one of the parents has just lost a parent too. And with a young SN baby, they probably do need a break.
Gran is probably lonely too. Having someone to look after can be a nice thing for widows, especially if they were caring for DH before he died.
I'm not keen on the drugs aspect, but that is for the parents to risk assess.
If gran is unhappy then it's out of order, but if she's happy with the arrangement I don't see the problem.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 05/09/2016 15:08

Are these people your family?

welshgirlwannabe · 05/09/2016 15:08

How is going to a festival a break?!?!? Dancing, listening to music, drinking in the day time, socialising with other adults, laughing, eating nice food, staying up late...

How is that not a break?

Arfarfanarf · 05/09/2016 15:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.