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Original poster

Gran to mind special needs baby while parents go on bender at festival

182 replies

purplemonkeywashesdishes · 05/09/2016 14:59

Title says it all.

Baby with special needs to be left with recently widowed granny while parents go to a three day festival as they need a break.

Does anyone else see this as entitled behaviour or am I just a complete bitch to think this is taking advantage?

Some background:
Parents are in their mid-40s and will be taking drugs at said festival
Food will not be supplied to granny, despite the fact that the baby is only 7 months and is in the process of being weaned (yet won't always take bottles and eats very little)
Baby wakes multiple times throughout the night
Granny will have to drive 50 miles to collect baby
Baby makes strange, is very unsettled
Granny is recently widowed and has no support

...but apparently they need a break...they have had a hard few months but how is going to a festival and going on a bender a break?

OP posts:
SloanePeterson · 05/09/2016 17:08

Ninjas?! *i was

LyndaNotLinda · 05/09/2016 17:10

I'm glad you're not my mum. I hope your son/daughter isn't on here and reads this. Because frankly if you were my parent, I don't think I'd ever speak to you again. If you have an issue with looking after their child, tell them, don't bitch about them behind their backs on the internet.

Hmmnotkeen · 05/09/2016 17:11

If you wouldn't have a problem with them going on a sedate teetotal walking trip, then you are being unreasonable.

sparklefarts · 05/09/2016 17:12

Wow judgemental.

All parents deserve a break. And unless they are actually forcing the gran to babysit I can't see any explanation for your attitude towards this?

You don't know circumstances, the gran may have actually asked to help out.
I hope you get judged so harshly should you ever want a break.

ElphabaTheGreen · 05/09/2016 17:13

The OP has described both of my NT children at 7mo. She has said nothing else suggestive of SN, but seems entirely pissed off about the drugs. Is this baby actually SN, or was that thrown in for extra effect to make the druggie parents look particularly neglectful?

PurpleDaisies · 05/09/2016 17:14

Didn't you read the thread sparkle (or at least the op's posts)? The op is the gran...

Pardonwhat · 05/09/2016 17:15

Oh fuck off Biscuit

SaucyJack · 05/09/2016 17:15

"Do any of you here go and get your brains at festivals while your parents look after your kids for three days?"

No. Neither mine nor DP's parents would be generous enough to take our DC for starters. Not sure if I could be bothered if they would, but it's nice to have a dream of byegone days.

You've got a chance here to do something lovely for your DC. Why not just gloss over the bits of the festival that you wouldn't personally have anything to do with, and relish giving the parents a relaxing break?

There'll be plenty of wholesome couple time going on as well as the odd line of coke.

PurpleDaisies · 05/09/2016 17:16

Who's that at pardon?

Owllady · 05/09/2016 17:16

I'm sorry but having normal healthy children is really not the same as looking after one with significant special needs and they are most probably coming to terms with things.

That said, it's your life.

I have a 17 yo with a severe disability and our families have never so much as babysat. We are lucky enough these days to receive some respite through the local authority but I do feel a bit resentful that our families have never really helped us when our lives have been really really difficult. But it's up to them I suppose.

Pardonwhat · 05/09/2016 17:18

PurpleDaisies - For some reason I could only see some of this until I sent my post Confused. I will temporarily retract my biscuit and my fuck off until I've had chance to read the rest of the thread Smile

m0therofdragons · 05/09/2016 17:21

Do I think parents with sn dc should get a break to be just them as a couple? Yes. Would I be happy re drugs? No but I'm very anti drugs.
You can say it doesn't work for you!

Specialapplek · 05/09/2016 17:24

I really don't understand why everyone thinks the OP is being judgmental and horrible? It's one thing to agree to take care of your grandchild to give the parents a break. It's another thing entirely to take care of your grandchild whilst the parents go off to a drugs party!

JustAnotherPoster00 · 05/09/2016 17:24

Judgy pants hoisted - check
Pearls clutched - check

Buns anyone?

madein1995 · 05/09/2016 17:27

Everyone needs a break so that bit is fine. I thibk it's awful for parents to be doing illegal drugs and personally hope that if they do drugs they get caught. Otherwise, I hope they enjoy their break

daisychain01 · 05/09/2016 17:28

Gran to mind special needs baby while parents go on bender at festival

Hello is that you daily fail reporter?

LyndaNotLinda · 05/09/2016 17:28

If it was just the drugs that the OP had a problem with Specialapplek, then she may have had a point (ish - although I'm not as judgy pants as most on MN). But it isn't about the drugs - it's the whole post moaning and whining and judging them but not telling them to their faces that she thinks it's bloody outrageous that they've asked and (I assume) actually doing them the favour and then slagging them off on a really busy parenting forum which is frequented by lots of parents with children with SN.

If you do someone a favour, do it with good grace or don't do it at all.

AprilSkies44 · 05/09/2016 17:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

harderandharder2breathe · 05/09/2016 17:36

If you're not hAppy then open your mouth and say so to the parents! Yabvu for being a wimp

AprilSkies44 · 05/09/2016 17:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HereIAm20 · 05/09/2016 17:39

I hope we haven't scared the OP off.

If the event hasn't taken place yet just explain to them that upon thinking about it further you feel it will be too much for you. Would it help if they did provide the food?

Or is it the case that when you thought they were just going to a festival to listen to the bands you wanted to help but now that you believe they may be going to take drugs you don't want to facilitate this behaviour.

That is fine too if that is the case. I would just be upfront with them about what the problems are. Try not to get too worked up about telling them but be prepared for them to be angry (at least initially) as they will feel that you have let them down - whatever your reasoning - if you had said you would do it.

Barksdale · 05/09/2016 17:39

If you're fine about taking the baby, then it's not your business to moralise about how the time off is spent.

If you're not fine about it, don't do it. But it's still none of your business if they book another babysitter and "go on a bender" because they're grown adults.

Cathaka15 · 05/09/2016 17:42

How are the parents with the baby usually ? I have a dd with sn and having some rest bite is essential. Taking drugs maybe not such a good idea.

StealthPolarBear · 05/09/2016 17:46

"managed to conceive at an age in life when it will have been a struggle"
In what way?

SolomanDaisy · 05/09/2016 17:47

She said they're mid 40s, didn't she? It's not easy at that age.

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