Vegan. Aibu to refuse to make separate meals for her?

[Busybusybust]

This is my son's gf. She's lovely, if a little intense, she has been veggie as long as I have known her (3/4 years). Don't have a problem with veggie (was brought up as one myself), but last year she became vegan, and is evangelical about it! I am a really good cook (sorry to brag, but it's relevant), and she expects me to cook a separate meal for her every meal. (Talking cooking for six over 6 days at Chrisrmas, two meals per day - so that's 12 separate meals!).

I cook everything from scratch, it's the way I am, but I find this extra stuff just too much, plus I not like cooking food which I find not to my taste. (Cashew nut macaroni cheese anyone!)

I'm 65, and have had two hip replacements, so find standing for long periods difficult. It does seem to me to be inhospitable to me not to make meals guests will enjoy, but I find it exhausting.

Why I am asking this now is that my brother is coming to stay, so I asked eldest to come up and see him, and unbeknownst to me he is on leave and gf will be staying, so she is coming too. It will be lovely to see her............... Except for the bloody food!

So AIBU to ask her to bring her own food?

Yanbu, provide the odd meal here and there but to cater every single meal, no don't do it. She can sort herself out with all her new fad.

Yes. YABU.

If she's a guest in your home, it's the hospitable thing to do to feed her.

Or you could just make the same thing for everyone. Vegan food isn't hard.

NBU. She can bring her own food and cook it!

Hmm if she is a guest... Could you all have a vegan meal one night then ask her to bring food for the others

You really don't have to make things like cashew nut macaroni cheese. I was vegan for nearly 5 years and never once made that. Just chuck her a couple of Linda McCartney sausages if you really can't be arsed.

And not all vegan food is cashew Mac and cheese; lots of Indian/Thai/Chinese food is

MMm I really like the sound of cashew nut Mac cheese!

How is Cashew nut macaroni cheese vegan anyway?

misses point

YANBU, particularly given your health conditions.

vegans are bloody annoying

I get your cooking is a source of pride but you are making a rod for your back. Lavish your usual attention on what you want to cook and do her salads and jacket potatoes and porridge w vegan milk.

sooper it's fake cheese made from cashew nuts

MollyTwo I wouldn't say something that's been going on atleast 7 months is a fad? Especially if she's been a veggie for years 🙄

OP yes YABU she's clearly a 'steady' girlfriend for your son why would you want to make her feel basically unwelcome in your home?

Get her partner to cook for her

She can cook some of the meals.

Vegan food isn't difficult, and if you are cooking from scratch I don't see why it would be an issue. But I imagine it would very much depend on the type of food you usually cook for yourself. I eat relatively clean, have coeliac disease so have to exclude loads of stuff anyway, and eat vegan most of the time too. It wasn't such a massive transition. But I accept that not everyone would get as excited about stuffed mushrooms, massive salads, rice and lentils and quinoa as I do..

Why do you do completely separate meals for her? Would it not just be easier to do a roast and then she can have all the bits other than the meat (and you can buy a nut roast or something) or do a curry and have one meat dish and one beg dish and then she can have the rice, bread and veg? Tapas? a Mezze? (my exes family all had various intolerances and i found this approach easier than doing many different dinners.

Yeah her son can cook for her or you tell her the kitchen is in there and to help herself.

As pp said, just stick her in some vegan sausages or pasta and tomato sauce or something.

You're hardly making her unwelcome but you're not running a restaurant with different meals to prepare. Buy some ready meals and put some nice garnish on them

Your son should cook for her

I'm a vegan and would never expect a separate meal to be made for me. I'm happy with the veg. She sounds a pain in the arse.
Did I say I was a vegan

Just chuck her a couple of Linda McCartney sausages if you really can't be arsed. - she can't really feed her vegan sausages twice a day for 6 days over Christmas though, can she? And I don't think it's a question of the OP not being "arsed" anyway. She already said she is a good cook, enjoys cooking for everyone and is trying to include the girlfriend in that.

Why are you doing all the cooking though OP? Over 6 days, I would definitely be expecting other grown-ups to be taking turns. Time to take off your apron!

But I do find it odd you're cooking all meals. Doesn't your son ever cook for himself?

OP you are obviously an excellent cook & enjoy cooking, but I noted the standing up for a while is an issue.

2 ideas - how about a very quick thai style stir fry with rice noodles, or alternatively a vegan curry dish left going in the slow cooker & you just have to do the rice to go with it.

Apart from the main meals, ask her to bring her own stuff