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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Or is the bloke I spilt my latte on

262 replies

Rowanhart · 24/05/2016 17:55

Getting on train today, when someone bumps me on their way past. I dropped my costa coffee (latte, 10 mins old) on table and some split on man's paper, sleeve of jumper and one splash on trousers

Me: oh god I'm very sorry'
Man: 'for Godsake'
Me: so sorry, are your hurt'
Man: 'No I'm messy'

Train bloke with trolley comes over with napkins.

Me: 'so sorry (takes napkins, starts cleaning up.'
Man: 'Can do it myself, stupid cow'
Me: 'okay, well I am sorry'

10 minutes later trolley man comes over and asks for mobile number, name and address as man has put incident in accident book. I ask if details will be passed to man and he says not sure so I refuse.

Then coffee man comes over and demands details. I still refuse. Pretend to get off at next stop and get back on 2 carriages down.

Trolley man comes down, spots me and again asks for details. I refuse and he says transport police may be called. They are not and I get off at destination.

Should I have given my details?

OP posts:
facebookrecruit · 24/05/2016 17:56

What the actual FUCK?!
Accidents happen love you are not being unreasonable

DoreenLethal · 24/05/2016 17:56

No of course not - someone bumped you it wasn't your fault.

I'd have reported him for harassment. Got his details and reported him to the station office at the destination station.

PPie10 · 24/05/2016 17:56

They both sound bonkers. Incident report over spilt coffeeConfused

HermioneJeanGranger · 24/05/2016 17:57

Details for what?! No, the man was being utterly ridiculous.

YANBU. You spilt your coffee. You apologised and helped him clean up. I can understand him being annoyed at having to go to work with coffee stains, but he was rude and he didn't need to report you and call you a cow!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 24/05/2016 17:57

Yes. I'm fairly sure there's something written in the travel code about giving your details after an incident. I'm sure he was probably going to send his dry cleaning bill to you but you did spill coffee on him... As much as I can appreciate that it was an accident, he was probably tired and annoyed that he'd now arrive at work dirty.

Ive never spilt coffee or had coffee spilt on me on the train. I'd probably be a bit annoyed if it did happen. I would try not to show it!

winchester1 · 24/05/2016 17:58

I wouldn't have, how would they ensure data protection and why on earth might the injured party need your details its not an insurance issue.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 24/05/2016 17:58

Huh cross posts. Maybe you shouldn't. I probably would have done.

It's done now, I'd forget it.

puddlejumpingqueen · 24/05/2016 17:58

Wow. Hope you are OK OP, this sort of thing can actually shake you up a bit.

I'd have said I wanted to report him for verbal abuse and asked for his details! Entitled fuck. YANBU

SapphireStrange · 24/05/2016 17:58

Both nuts. You can't be compelled to give your details to some bloke on the train. Hmm

No sympathy from me, not after calling you stupid cow. I'd have made the train staff log HIM for harassment.

oldlaundbooth · 24/05/2016 17:59

He actually called you a 'stupid cow'?

Dieu · 24/05/2016 17:59

I have no respect for men like this. Accident book, my arse. It was obviously an accident, you apologised, he was rude. I'm not sure what other, additional outcome he could expect.
Are you sure he wasn't burnt though? Drinks in those lidded cups are like molten lava for a while!

oldlaundbooth · 24/05/2016 17:59

P.S. No, you shouldn't have given your details.

ButteredUp · 24/05/2016 18:00

Isn't the accident book for, you know, actual accidents that involve minor injuries and the like? So if your coffee had scalded the man, it might have been appropriate to note it in the book, but not otherwise.

And while of course it's annoying to start a working day covered in coffee, 'stupid cow' is not an appropriate response to someone who has apologised and is doing their best to help you clean up. Did he think you should have been offering dry cleaning expenses or something?

Fairylea · 24/05/2016 18:00

Gosh it was an accident and you apologised and even cleaned up. More than a lot would do! Stupid man.

Mumteedum · 24/05/2016 18:01

That's awful. They should have been able to tell you why your details were required if the man was not injured! Wasn't your fault. Horrible bullying men! (Sorry but sick of seeing it. Happy to be labeled a cliche man hater....i don't hate men. Just the nasty gits who think they can bully women).

VocationalGoat · 24/05/2016 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emotionsecho · 24/05/2016 18:01

I think the man in question completely over reacted, was extremely rude calling you a stupid cow, and I wouldn't have given my details if there was any chance they would have been passed on to him.

It was an accident, they happen no need for him to get so worked up about it. No doubt he had it logged as he wanted 'compensation'.

Don't let it worry you, the police weren't called. However, if you see him again and he becomes at all aggressive and threatening I would make a complaint about him to the Transport Police.

VocationalGoat · 24/05/2016 18:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wolfwhistleme · 24/05/2016 18:07

Forget it. Bloke was a dickhead. Wine

TheVillageTaxpayer · 24/05/2016 18:10

Coffee on a train is not a necessity. If you spill yours on someone, regardless of why, you should at least offer $$ to pay for cleaning.

It's so easy to say "accidents happen" till you're the one heading to work in soiled clothing because someone else didn't take precautions or pay close enough attention to whatever she was doing.

Beepbopboop · 24/05/2016 18:11

I don't understand why you were apologising so much and has so mad if he was the one that bumped into you?? It was his fault, not yours.

SapphireStrange · 24/05/2016 18:12

Village, OK, but if you were called a stupid cow after you'd apologised and tried to clean up, and had someone essentially 'tell on you' to the train staff, would you be happy?

I don't disagree that in principle it would be good manners to offer to pay for dry-cleaning, but in this scenario the man didn't exactly make himself seem amenable. I don't think I'd feel like offering if someone used insulting language to me.

SapphireStrange · 24/05/2016 18:13

Beep, I think a third party bumped into the OP and made her spill her coffee on the rude man.

Rowanhart · 24/05/2016 18:13

Just to clarify, he wasn't one who bumped into me. He was sitting down and I split coffee.

Yes I agree coffee on train isn't necessity. But there isn't a no food or drinks policy.

Perhaps I should have offered him some money. I wasn't asked for it though...

OP posts:
AHellOfABird · 24/05/2016 18:16

Taxpayer, very harsh, OP was bumped from behind.

Did anyone seek the "bumper" details?