Or is the bloke I spilt my latte on

[Rowanhart]

Getting on train today, when someone bumps me on their way past. I dropped my costa coffee (latte, 10 mins old) on table and some split on man's paper, sleeve of jumper and one splash on trousers

Me: oh god I'm very sorry'
Man: 'for Godsake'
Me: so sorry, are your hurt'
Man: 'No I'm messy'

Train bloke with trolley comes over with napkins.

Me: 'so sorry (takes napkins, starts cleaning up.'
Man: 'Can do it myself, stupid cow'
Me: 'okay, well I am sorry'

10 minutes later trolley man comes over and asks for mobile number, name and address as man has put incident in accident book. I ask if details will be passed to man and he says not sure so I refuse.

Then coffee man comes over and demands details. I still refuse. Pretend to get off at next stop and get back on 2 carriages down.

Trolley man comes down, spots me and again asks for details. I refuse and he says transport police may be called. They are not and I get off at destination.

Should I have given my details?

Soup, for a guess it's because the steward blindly followed the wishes of the aggressive man in asking for the OP's details, then was unable to advise whether her details would be passed to aggressive man, then came over and demanded her details again, then threatened her with the transport police (which turned out to be an empty threat).

He needs some training, I'd say.

The problem could have been resolved had there been a ban on eating and drinking on commuter trains. I personally think it's manky and unnecessary to do either for what is usually a short journey.

Then the BTP should have been attending for the arsey man demanding personal details for no reason.

I'd've bought a suit, not cut the tags out and tried hard not to sweat in it, Rosie, but I'm tighter than you :-)

RosieSW , OK, fair enough. It does sound like a nightmare. For me that would not have been an option though as I would not have £450 to spend. Gutting about your suit anyway and I hope you have been able to make good use of it since.

Or... maybe I would have bought a suit from TM Lewin on my credit card, sneakily concealed the labels somehow, put it on just before I was called to give evidence and changed straight afterwards back into my coffee stained clothes and then returned it to the shop in the afternoon. But I am just skanky like that. I wouldn't have returned a blouse I had worn though. I am not that skanky.

AHellOfABird great minds...

RosieSW us northerners would NEVER spend that much money on a suit

Oh dear, I am skankier than you as I did once return a blouse bought for interview...

I was a broke student, in my defense...

It was an accident. He may MAY have had some spoilt papers and a wet jumper. I would absolutely NOT have given my details. Yanbu!

You didn't scald him with boiling coffee you just spilt it. He needs to get over himself.

It gets more batshit around here daily.

You were bumped
You spilt a small amount of lukewarm coffee on a newspaper and a tiny bit on some blokes sleeve & jeans

Everything after 'Sorry' was stupid & pointless.

Of course you don't need to pay for dry cleaning
Of course you don't need to hand over your details

On a crowded train someone accidentally bumped you, you accidentally spilt a little coffee -FFS some grips need got!

🍷🍫don't give it another thought

that sounds so horrible for you. someone once tipped icy water over me on the way to their table in Starbucks and was really apologetic. I was annoyed for about ten seconds, and would have got annoyed at the person if they hadn't said sorry, but it was clear that it was an accident and they were really sorry.

No one should speak to anyone like that. I would be shaking if someone called me a stupid cow. There is making an honest mistake (spilling coffee) and there is being an out and out dick (calling you a stupid cow.) I know which I think is worse. x

Oh...and even if they hadn't been sorry, I would not have insulted them in that manner.

Oh, and I'd definitely file a complaint for how the situation was handled. That bloke needs some training PDQ.

The commuter needs some training too - but harder to enforce 😁

If they are so keen to find who was responsible, why didn't they pursue the person who bumped you? HE is the real culprit! Or maybe he lurched into you because someone bumped into him, and maybe that person lost their balance because they were ill, or because the train driver started the train with a bit of a lurch, in which case it's the driver's fault and you can sue the train company for harrassment and stress. They can then complain to the company who built the rolling stock that their carriages do not run smoothly enough who will blame it on design faults, but the designers will pass the responsibility onto the people who maintain the tracks.

Perhaps you could draw a flow chart indicating the run of responsibility? Make copies. Hand it to anyone who tries to bring the incident up again.

(There's another flow chart lurking which follows the alternate path of lid and cup manufacturers, but I have to go and do dinner now.)

Apt name for the thread, Latte!

How did you not lose your shit when he called you a silly cow?! What an A Hole!!

It cost me £450 to dip into a female boutique and buy another suit and blouse

Never heard of Primark? This was unnecessary

There's no Primark near Euston.

There might be one in the upstairs shopping bit at Victoria but I doubt she had much time spare to check.

Calling you a stupid cow was unreasonable. You should have offered to pay for his suit to be dry cleaned but you were perhaps flustered by his reaction.

I would have given my details to the train company on the express understanding that they would not be shared with the man directly.

What a twat. I'd be filing a complaint with the train company for not only their harassment of you but for failing to stick up for you when one of their passengers called you a stupid cow.

Shit, I'd be all over Twitter etc with it. Wankers.

and I would seek out the fucker the next day and make sure the coffee was good and hot

wait, there's a Travel Code? is it like the Green Cross Code? the Country Code? when did i sign up for that?

OP, the man was a dick, and some responses here are dickish. same as it ever was.

Light

He wasn't wearing a suit.

The OP was told her details couldn't be guaranteed private so she didn't share. Frankly, if trolley guy had then said , "oh yeah, I won't tell him" I would have disbelieved him!

All these people saying "He could have been going to an important meeting with a splash of coffee on his trousers" obviously he doesn't have to be happy about it but a "sorry about the state of me - a lady had a small accident with her coffee on the train [insert quick joke about public transport]" and we all, smile, laugh and go on with our day - no?

YANBU fucking hell I wouldn't have given my details in those circumstances

I was in a restaurant wearing a white dress when the waiter spilled coffee down my back. It was an accident. I wasn't burned which was the important part. The coffee came out in the wash. End of issue. These things happen. No need to blow issues out of them.