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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Or is the bloke I spilt my latte on

262 replies

Rowanhart · 24/05/2016 17:55

Getting on train today, when someone bumps me on their way past. I dropped my costa coffee (latte, 10 mins old) on table and some split on man's paper, sleeve of jumper and one splash on trousers

Me: oh god I'm very sorry'
Man: 'for Godsake'
Me: so sorry, are your hurt'
Man: 'No I'm messy'

Train bloke with trolley comes over with napkins.

Me: 'so sorry (takes napkins, starts cleaning up.'
Man: 'Can do it myself, stupid cow'
Me: 'okay, well I am sorry'

10 minutes later trolley man comes over and asks for mobile number, name and address as man has put incident in accident book. I ask if details will be passed to man and he says not sure so I refuse.

Then coffee man comes over and demands details. I still refuse. Pretend to get off at next stop and get back on 2 carriages down.

Trolley man comes down, spots me and again asks for details. I refuse and he says transport police may be called. They are not and I get off at destination.

Should I have given my details?

OP posts:
Sunnsoo · 24/05/2016 19:46

I hope that bloke doesn't have a toddler some day! Wink

AHellOfABird · 24/05/2016 19:48

Ah, your lucky suit then, Rosie!

UpsiLondoes · 24/05/2016 19:48

Only in this little Internet world would some delicate soul suggesting filing a harassment complaint against this guy.

For saying stupid cow.

Love it.

AHellOfABird · 24/05/2016 19:50

Upsi, that was primarily in response to his own actions trying to get op's address and the threat of the BTP from trolley guy.

If it had been left at stupid cow, OP wouldn't have posted.

ErgonomicallyUnsound · 24/05/2016 19:57

Only in this little Internet world would some delicate soul suggesting filing a harassment complaint against this guy.For saying stupid cow.Love it.

Only in this fucking stupid reality is this deemed acceptable but if it were a big hairy trucker and you'd called him a twat it'd be accepted that he punched your lights out.

FabFiveFreddie · 24/05/2016 20:03

It's people with a loose grip on themselves (who often, ironically, masquerade as super in-control of everything) who behave in the disproportionate fashion jeans-and-jumper guy did.

I'd have let the trolley guy (sounds incapable of thinking for himself, probably got an earful from jeans-and-jumper guy and dumped it all on you, being the quieter one) call the police. I'd have wanted to hear what they'd say, and probably pulled out the old "don't you have actual crimes to solve?!" line.

MintyChops · 24/05/2016 20:09

He was an ignorant twat. What a stressful experience OP, poor you....

Footle · 24/05/2016 20:11

I reported someone for their behaviour on a small local train - they left a small child on the train because they hadn't noticed that the child was lagging behind - and then they blamed the conductor for allowing the doors to close. I reported because the poor conductor thought he'd lose his job, and it was in no way his fault. A few days later I got a phone call from one of the adult passengers - the train company had sent her a copy of my letter with my details still on it.

PinkyOfPie · 24/05/2016 20:11

Are the MRAs out in force tonight?

I'm actually laughing at the thought that the OP played the "woman card" here when, as people have pointed out, if she was a 6ft bloke he'd have said "don't worry about it mate" Hmm

sharknad0 · 24/05/2016 20:14

£450 (or it might have been £439) is an extortionate amount to spend on ONE suit.

HAHAHA! Even my own suits cost more than that, and my husband's ones a lot more. My latest pair of jeans (from 7) were around £250. I would not buy a replacement in Primark if the were spoilt by somebody's coffee. You damage them, you pay for them!

I would be more understanding in a place serving food, but in a train? If someone is silly enough to carry a drink in a moving vehicle full of people, they should be ready to pay when they damage somebody's property.

53rdAndBird · 24/05/2016 20:21

I would be more understanding in a place serving food, but in a train?

Food is served on trains. And coffee.

MNHQ
PresidentOliviaMumsnet · 24/05/2016 20:22

AHEM

sharknad0 · 24/05/2016 20:28

Food is served on trains. And coffee

not in commuter trains, you can barely breathe thanks to the over crowding, let alone wander around to buy a drink.

Whoever says social classes don't matter should have a look on this sort of threads: on one side, civilised people would just apologise, give their card or mobile number and offer to pay to clean for the damage. Offer would probably be declined, people react amazingly nicely to someone being gracious.
on the other side, the "fuck them" brigade, it's the victim's fault for being in the train and he should be reported for assault or harassment, do not take responsibility for your actions, no-one can force you. Charming.

53rdAndBird · 24/05/2016 20:30

Yes, on commuter trains. It's like a rolling Starbucks on the ones I get!

I think this may be one of those London-vs-everywhere-else type of situations...

Original poster
Rowanhart · 24/05/2016 20:33

Hang on a sec, neither of those are true of vast majority of posts.

Sharnado: As it happens I was on a train travelling 120 miles with a pre-booked seat, which I moved from.

I have no idea why you're acting like I was rude here. I apologised several times. However, the fact you've accused me of acting as a fragile little woman and playing the woman card (whatever that means), reflects the fact only two people who have been rude today are 1) rude man who came over demanding address after calling me stupid cow; 2) you.

And calling him a victim? That's just wick.

OP posts:
seagreengirl · 24/05/2016 20:38

Do people really expect other people to pay for dry cleaning or replacement clothing after calling them "stupid cow".

Hell would freeze over before I offered to pay for anything after being spoken to like that. Even if it was my fault. It's monumentally rude.

kitkat1968 · 24/05/2016 20:40

It is standard practice for companies to make a report when a customer is injured on their premises. I think the OP was unreasonable not to co-operate when it was her who burned the poor f*cker!

ErgonomicallyUnsound · 24/05/2016 20:41

She didn't burn him FFS! The coffee was luke warm and he said he wasn't hurt!

solvendie · 24/05/2016 20:42

Can someone link to the 'Travel Code' as I'm completely unaware of it or what rights and responsibilities I have under it?

seagreengirl · 24/05/2016 20:44

He wasn't injured, the coffee didn't touch his skin.

PottyMouthed · 24/05/2016 20:47

Some of you need to give your head a wobble!

Op, yanbu Flowers

I've just read the whole thread and at no time has the op played any of the aforementioned 'cards' Confused

The Bloke is an unreasonable arsehole! The steward was a joke and should it be reported, he would deserve a disciplinary.
She was on a long distance train, not a tram or underground shuttle. Coffee is sold on this type of train and on the platforms. She was not in the wrong for having coffee on the train. There are no laws!

I don't really care how much someone paid out of their own money, for their own suit!! Fgs what does it matter to you? I have a feeling that that could be more a jealousy issue that someone could make an on the spot purchase to such a value Hmm

LilacSpunkMonkey · 24/05/2016 20:49

Of course you're not BU OP.

We seem to having a bit of an influx of wind-up merchants lately. And a few of them have landed on this thread.

But what's new there?

Buckinbronco · 24/05/2016 21:02

*Today 19:14 SoupDragon

I'd complain to the train company about the steward.

Why?*

Because he shouldn't be giving her the impression she needs to leave her details with him

bakeoffcake · 24/05/2016 21:04

Yanbu OP Flowers

He sounds a nasty bastard and there's no way I'd have given him my details.

JennyOnAPlate · 24/05/2016 21:05

I would not be offering dry cleaning money to a man who called me a stupid cow.

You didn't do anything wrong op Flowers

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