Or is the bloke I spilt my latte on

[Rowanhart]

Getting on train today, when someone bumps me on their way past. I dropped my costa coffee (latte, 10 mins old) on table and some split on man's paper, sleeve of jumper and one splash on trousers

Me: oh god I'm very sorry'
Man: 'for Godsake'
Me: so sorry, are your hurt'
Man: 'No I'm messy'

Train bloke with trolley comes over with napkins.

Me: 'so sorry (takes napkins, starts cleaning up.'
Man: 'Can do it myself, stupid cow'
Me: 'okay, well I am sorry'

10 minutes later trolley man comes over and asks for mobile number, name and address as man has put incident in accident book. I ask if details will be passed to man and he says not sure so I refuse.

Then coffee man comes over and demands details. I still refuse. Pretend to get off at next stop and get back on 2 carriages down.

Trolley man comes down, spots me and again asks for details. I refuse and he says transport police may be called. They are not and I get off at destination.

Should I have given my details?

Did you tell him someone bumped into YOU? I WOULD have made a huge scene.

Soiled clothing? From a splash of coffee? Get real! YANBU OP, you should've gone back for a second cup and dumped it on his head! What a dick.

It's not an accident though. It doesn't go in the accident log. And they're not
The police. I'd complain to the train company about the steward. I think you handled it perfectly OP, I hope you're not
Too shaken up

I would not have given my details and if the guy had called me a stupid cow I would have poured the rest of the coffee over him...by accident of course.

I'd complain to the train company about the steward.

Good idea.

tiggy, calling someone a stupid cow goes beyond 'not exactly polite', surely? Would he have said 'stupid twat' to a man?

Yanbu. I think people forget that if they are polite then people will be more likely to pay for damages even if it's not their fault. He was rude and expected something to be done. You didn't assault him and the transport police would have laughed at the idea of being called out for spilled coffee. I hope he learns to be less rude but the member of staff insisting on your details without knowing where it was going shouldn't have enabled his behaviour and probably that has now made the bloke feel like he did the right thing. I hope the member of staff receives better training soon!

Would be interesting if coffee man tells his wife about this and she happens to be a mumsnetter.

Will be a serious piece in the mail about dry cleaning obligations and power hungry train staff.

Hmm if I was sitting zonked out on the train in the morning and someone dropped hot coffee over me I'd be pretty shocked and my reaction might not be the most considered. Are you sure he wasn't burned? Often you can't feel a burn when it first happens. I think at the very least you should have offered money for the dry cleaner.

YANBU.

Would he have said 'stupid twat' to a man?

Would he have said that to a big burly man? I expect not.
The man is an arse. Fair enough for him to be pissed off, who wouldn't be, but no need to be a cunt about it.

Wow, what a loser. Why should you have offered him any money? What for? Coffee stains tend to come out in the wash and suit trousers are usually dry clean only so he would have incurred no additional expense for the small splashes he got on his clothes. If they were dark in colour it would just have dried within half an hour or so. He would not have been burned by 10 min old coffee. And 80% of commuters seem to have a cup of coffee. They even serve them ON THE TRAIN which should be a hint as to whether it's OK to have hot drinks on board.

You should have actually called the transport police. Poor you.

YANBU!
The Bumper should have apologised too, you were caused to spill your coffee on the bloke. Blokes language was absolutely unnecessary and he is a prize prat.
Village is being unreasonable too. It was none of ops fault at all. Every time I've been on a train a very large percentage of passengers are eating and drinking and carrying hot drinks to and fro depending on wether they've bought them on platform or in buffet carriage.

"Will be a serious piece in the mail about dry cleaning obligations and power hungry train staff"

going this made me laugh! Two things the mail love is bashing women and transport providers.....

Mmm, not sure IYABU or not.

I would have offered him a tenner for dry cleaning. I think there is some risk in carrying a coffee on a crowded train. I'd still do it but I'd feel a bit responsible if it got spilt.

He shouldn't have been rude. It's absolutely no excuse for being rude but he might have had an interview or an important meeting or something. I'd be really really pissed off to be wearing someone else's coffee all day (but I wouldn't have been rude!). I'd be extra pissed off if it was a Costa coffee

I don't know about the accident report. He could easily have said he was burnt. I think I would have refused but offered to go and see the guy again and give him some cash.

Ferk and circles, very good point about drinks on trains. In this case the member of train staff was actually the 'trolley man' –presumably selling tea and coffee! On the train!

OP, you should have offered to pay fr his dry cleaning. When you make a mistake you should apologise, make restitution if you can and plan to avoid the situation recurring.

You did the first part and trying to clean up was s good effort - but what about his damaged clothes? Why should he have to pay for your mistake?

Having said that, the person who bumped you was really to blame. What happened to them. Did they just clear off? Should have got the trolly guy to get their details!

BTW was there a lid on the coffee?

Yanbu op, you did it by accident and apologised. If he'd been polite instead of calling you a cow I'm sure you would have had no problem giving him your details if it turned out his clothes were marked and required specialist cleaning. If he hadn't been so unpleasant about it, it would not have been an issue.

I have to say however there was a thread a short time ago where a lady was feeding her baby in a cafe, and the baby put puree covered hands on the coat of a woman which had been hung on the chair beside her. Coat woman was rude to the op and demanded she pay for cleaning. Op was slated and told she was disgusting, rude and uncaring that someone else's property was ruined by their actions. This thread is essentially the same situation, but it seems when the victim is a man and the perpetrator not a small baby the responses are different, and I wonder why?
Do people identify more with the woman having a nice coat ruined by a baby, where in this thread they understand the op's point of view more than the man's?

The man was a prat and I agree he probably wouldn't have been calling a big burly man names either. I think the sterward was out of order unless the man was injured.

If it was a small amount of coffee then it wouldn't have crossed my mind to offer to pay. Mainly because in similar circumstances I wouldn't have thought to ask for compensation.

If it was a lot of coffee I would offer but then if said person had decided to call me names, when it wasn't my fault, I wouldn't offer to pay for cleaning either. Again because it wouldn't cross my mind to call a person names particularly if they were helping to clean up and were apologetic.

He was a fucking big bully. All that over a spilt drink.
You apologised, undeservedly.
Tried to use wipes to clean him up.
What more is he expecting. For you to lick his arse and jump on his dick.

If you were a 6ft tall bloke though. His reaction would have been. "Oh don't worry about it, mate. Accidents happen to the careful and best of us.

There was a lid on coffee and not playing down but he wasn't covered. Was the bit that came out of hole in lid. His sleeve was milky and was into splash on trousers. Paper got the brunt.

Coffee hit table and still had enough in to drink after.

I don't think was work outfit. Jeans and jumper. But understand why was annoyed. Sure I would have been too.