Or is the bloke I spilt my latte on

[Rowanhart]

Getting on train today, when someone bumps me on their way past. I dropped my costa coffee (latte, 10 mins old) on table and some split on man's paper, sleeve of jumper and one splash on trousers

Me: oh god I'm very sorry'
Man: 'for Godsake'
Me: so sorry, are your hurt'
Man: 'No I'm messy'

Train bloke with trolley comes over with napkins.

Me: 'so sorry (takes napkins, starts cleaning up.'
Man: 'Can do it myself, stupid cow'
Me: 'okay, well I am sorry'

10 minutes later trolley man comes over and asks for mobile number, name and address as man has put incident in accident book. I ask if details will be passed to man and he says not sure so I refuse.

Then coffee man comes over and demands details. I still refuse. Pretend to get off at next stop and get back on 2 carriages down.

Trolley man comes down, spots me and again asks for details. I refuse and he says transport police may be called. They are not and I get off at destination.

Should I have given my details?

I think that it's probably standard procedure for the train employee to have to record details of an incident in a book. The employee should have been able to tell you that it was confidential and wouldn't be able to be passed onto Mr Angry. The employee didn't handle it well at all. I can understand that OP wouldn't want Mr Angry to have her address and phone no (I'm pretty sure it would have been against the data protection laws if he had been given it), but I think perhaps you needed to explain exactly why you weren't giving it, and offer to get off with him at your stop and explain it to a employee superior to him. I expect the staff have to make a record of what happened (including how he was aggressive) in case he comes back trying to sue.

I have to say that I don't think it's a very sensible idea to wander around with things that can be spilt on someone, whether hot or cold.

should have offered him 15p for a bar of sainsbury's/tesco's soap. gets out dry wipe markers.

You should have provided details, listing your name as F. YEW, and giving the address of the nearest Costa as your home address.

I think that it's probably standard procedure for the train employee to have to record details of an incident in a book

I was going to say that too. We are supposed to log accidents and near misses in office log book. Nobody does. It doesn't seem unreasonable that a train company would have the same procedure.

£450 on a suit? Go to Primark

What exactly is the problem some of you have with the idea of spending money on good quality clothes? Depending on exactly what I'm wearing most of my work outfits are well over that price. I'd not appreciate getting coffee spilt over me.

I'm surprised anyone thinks yabu. Whether people like it or not you are allowed food and drink on a train. You got jostled and spilt a tiny amount of coffee on someone who was then disproportionately rude to you.
Why the actual fuck would you offer him your details or in fact money for dry cleaning? Surely a few spots on his clothes will come out in the wash and dry cleaning is highly unnecessary?!?! Yanbu op - he was a dick and you shouldn't even think about it again.

And have him know my name, phone number and where I live...... Not effin likely!!!

Er - is this you, OP?

Train delays after passengers ‘fight and throw coffee’

YANBU. The demand for your details sounds like an attempt to intimidate and belittle you. Don't give it another thought...unless to complain about the staff member.

If coffee splashed on clothing is enough to send someone into a spin I would suggest they need to go out and get a sense of perspective.

"Slightly off topic but a deranged idiot knocked my son off his bike by opening his car door into him. He was badly bruised (Dr insisted he go for an X-ray). Idiot demanded my insurance details incredibly aggressively and called me a "fucking cunt". The police said I had to give him my details"

Wtf? What details? It clearly has nothing to do with your car insurance. Neither are you obliged to have household insurance, so why would the Police expect any details? I would be complaining about the police officer, it's inaccurate and misleading- unless you've misunderstood the request

Did the man have a beard ? I have put two and two together and made 47 , bloke on a train , wearing jeans and a jumper , possibly with a beard , must have been Richard Branson and he was trying to get your contact details to offer you a free stay on Necker to make up for his rudeness , silly you for not realising

Legally the train company are liable if this twerp wanted to sue anyone so don't worry.

The conductor has no legal rights to demand your personal details... UK privacy laws cover that. (Especially as he could not guarantee they would be shared with grumpy bloke)
If you'd thrown your coffee on this guy and he wanted you arrested for assault then conductor would have to call police who could have asked, but he didn't, so you don't.

I would have done the exact same thing as you. Apologised a lot, tried to help. If he had called me a stupid cow I would have been very shocked and called him up on his rudeness. And there is no way I would have given out my personal details after that. I would have told him to call the police and waste everyone's time. Poor you though, not a pleasant situation. I never understand how people can get so annoyed at others because of accidents. And by the by, I also don't agree with the poster who said you need to pay over £450 to get good quality clothes - how ridiculous! Clothes that cost that much are a total luxury and status symbol in my opinion.

Since the spillage was a complete accident and caused no harm, can't see it would ever be a police matter. No intent, so no issue of assault etc.

Personally, I may have offered to pay cost of dry cleaning as I don't think that is unreasonable, after apologising (though arguably the offer should have come from the person who bumped you). However, clearly this guy's attitude rather headed that possibility off. He's rude and is acting like a prat, ignore him. Forget him.

Not sure what the legalities of giving your name, or not, are. No accident (as in no harm caused, and not road, traffic, so none of those rules apply). And if you had given it and it was passed on, or used inappropriately, there would be a whole host of DPA issues, not to mention you would potentially be putting yourself in a vulnerable position.

The train chap was probably just trying to do his job and fill in some accident report form, and was a bit thrown by a gobby man going on about his suit. The rule book probably doesn't cover what to do when there isn't really an accident but someone says there is. There's possibly something about having to give some details if demanded as a condition of carriage. Who knows. It all gets rather involved for a cold cup of coffee, and no real harm done.

The important thing in practical terms, is that you did absolutely the right thing.

Coffee is a necessity for some of us, and even if it isn't, the train companies actively encourage it by selling the stuff on board and through franchise concessions at stations, so as long as you were taking reasonable care, I don't think that is an issue. Nor is wearing a (relatively) expensive suit, or being upset when it is soiled, but being rude and threatening and generally unpleasant isn't acceptable. No excuse for the way he spoke to you.

Commuting can be stressful at the best of times, and such rudeness makes it worse for everyone. Don't worry about it.

gohackyourself. When DS was 9m old, I was in a cafe with him in a highchair next to me. Waitress was walking past with full pot of coffee, down our aisle, and an impatient prat barged past her making coffee shoot out of the spout on to my sons arm. It scalded him, meaning we had to attend a&e (it was a Saturday) to have it dressed.
The waitress was in bits, she was in tears and apologising over and over.
I don't hold her responsible and I'm not calling for a ban on coffee in cafes? The number of people who asked me if I was going to sue the cafe or the waitress was unreal and quite worrying. Even the doctor asked in casualty and was like "why?" When I said I wasn't - because it was simply an accident (caused by a third party prat, who you could argue didn't set out to hurt a baby. We have all got huffy when you get stuck being someone going snail pace when you have to be somewhere)
Sometimes you have to accept there is no blame and accidents happen!

Gosh I hope I never meet SchitzelVonKrumm on a train lol - just in case I breathe in the wrong direction and cause offence

YADNBU the man sounds like an opportunist probably looking for a case to take to an injury solicitor claiming being burnt and mentally scarred by his awful ordeal. It wasn't even your fault, as you were bumped by someone else!

Even if it were though, I know I'd certainly be irritated by the situation inside but not outwardly as I realise that these things happen and it's not your fault at all.

If the train operator thinks it's your fault then they need to stop selling drinks on their trains anyway, regardless of where you bought it.

He probably won't dry clean jeans and a jumper and if he immediately wiped up the spill properly (ie using clean water if the clothing was light) any stain would be virtually unnoticeable after a wash.

His attitude would ensure I didn't offer an penny anyway.

Poor you! I'd complain about the steward tracking you down as well.

YANBU. Forget it. You did all you could and well done for sticking to your guns and not handing over your details.

I can't get over £450 for a replacement suit so that it would go with your handbag.

I had coffee spilled on me on the way to court (I'm a lawyer). The person apologised, I said don't worry about it, accidents happen. The court I was going to is next to a huge Tesco (classy) so I popped in there for a new shirt and a black jacket, I think it cost me about £12 total.

It didn't occur to me either to call the coffee-spiller a stupid cow or to demand their details. Because I'm not a knob.

Why can't you get over £450 for a new suit? Not your budget or your money. Strange.

Yanbu. Angry man clearly has issues beyond a dab of coffee on his jumper.
Also - I love this thread
throws smoke bomb & vanishes back to lurking

I once dropped an entire large fresh coffee in a man's lap on the tube first thing in the morning (I wasn't bumped, just being clumsy and sort of juggled it). I was mortified and obv apologised, asked if I could pay for cleaning etc, and he said "no no don't be silly, a friend of mine found they had cancer this week, there are much more important things to worry about, this doesn't matter." Just to put the wanker that the OP splashed into perspective!

I understand that some people choose to spend that much on a new suit Sole but it wasn't someone going out and finding an expensive suit she loved, she said it was

"the cheapest I could find that still matched with my shoes, brief case and handbag"

I can think of literally no town in the UK where you can't find a dark grey suit and cream blouse, which would go with everything, for under £450.

You should have provided details, listing your name as F. YEW, and giving the address of the nearest Costa as your home address.

I am so using that!

LauraMipsum, I LOVE your username!

Laura - I'd like you to represent me if ever I am in a spot of bovver