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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Reception Child alone at Party

425 replies

PricklyLegs · 15/05/2016 17:51

Eldest went to the birthday party of a girl in her class yesterday. It was at a playgym which was open to the public - the kids all played then had something to eat. It lasted 2 hours. There were about 12 of them at the party and maybe 50 other kids there with their parents/whoever.

One of the girls in her class was dropped off by her mum and then picked up at the end.

Is this normal for a 4 year old at a playgym party? AIBU to judge said mother for putting the responsibility of watching the 4 yr old on a mother she's only seen at the schoolgates? Anyone could have been there. Anything could have happened.

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 15/05/2016 17:53

It's normal where I live. When my DC were in P1, so same age as reception, it would have been considered very weird for a parent to stay.

Only1scoop · 15/05/2016 17:53

She may have spoken to the mother re her looking out for her DC?

VimFuego101 · 15/05/2016 17:54

I wouldn't have an issue doing this at a soft play type place if my child was OK with it and comfortable being left on their own for the party. For all you know one of the parents who stayed may know her well and would have been happy to take responsibility for her.

Mov1ngOn · 15/05/2016 17:55

Would be very unusual here and I wouldn't do it. Starting to drop in year 1 so 6ish and about half and half in year 2 so 7ish.

CaptainCrunch · 15/05/2016 17:55

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Mov1ngOn · 15/05/2016 17:55

You'd only do it with a 4 year old here if another familiar parent was looking out for them.

Original poster
PricklyLegs · 15/05/2016 17:56

I wasn't sure if I was being a bit precious / over protective. I probably am, not been in this situation before as this is our first school friend party. Just worried me a little as I didn't see anyone talking to the little girl to check on her when they were eating etc and all the other kids' parents were there.

OP posts:
Mov1ngOn · 15/05/2016 17:56

It's not normal to leave a 4 year old at any party I've been to! (lots. 2 x kids) It must vary from area to area.

OiWithThePoodlesAlready · 15/05/2016 17:57

I think it's normal. When you arrange a party you are agreeing to take on some responsibility for other children.

Mov1ngOn · 15/05/2016 17:57

Might want someone going to the loo with them and parents often pass the food at the party or check they've got something to eat etc!

Original poster
PricklyLegs · 15/05/2016 17:58

Captain Crunch, it's not hysterical nonsense at all. It's a very large playgym and she is a small 4 year old.

OP posts:
FlyingElbows · 15/05/2016 17:58

I have never stayed at a party with any of my children. Perhaps if people loosened the reins a bit we'd get fewer "omg I've got to pay to go to a kids party" threads.

Ragwort · 15/05/2016 17:58

I would assume perfectly normal - I think if parents are expected to stay with their children at a party it should be made clear on the invitation. I never forgot the time I left my DS aged 4 at party (at the host's home so not a soft play type place) and just breezed off - it hadn't dawned on me that I was meant to stay Grin - a few of the parents mothers gave me odd looks.

Whenever I hosted parties for my DC it was an absolute pain if parents stayed as well.

Original poster
PricklyLegs · 15/05/2016 17:59

Sorry if drip feeding but mother of party girl said she hadn't asked her to watch her.

OP posts:
leccybill · 15/05/2016 17:59

I wouldn't, and I don't recall anyone being dropped off last year when DD was in reception (unless by prior arrangement with another parent). And she went to 22 parties last year, nightmare.
Even now in Year 1, I wouldn't. Not in a place where it is open to the public.

BeckyMcDonald · 15/05/2016 18:00

In parties at the very beginning of reception all the mums stayed. My son's was in November (so, 2.5 months into the year) and because of restrictions in the venue, parents couldn't stay, so they didn't. A few were a bit nervous but the kids were fine. None of the parents stay at any parties now. It would be unusual for them to do so. In fat, I left my 3.5 year old at a party with his brother a few weeks ago. They were both fine.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 15/05/2016 18:00

It's normal here from school age so 4+ if you want parents to stay at parties because you are not happy to be in charge of the children you have to write it on the invites

CaptainCrunch · 15/05/2016 18:00

It is hysterical nonsense. She wasn't "alone" either, there were plenty adults there.

titchy · 15/05/2016 18:00

If she was 6 she'd still be a small girl in a large place.....

Normal here (or was 10 years ago when mine were that age) for reception kids to be left, SN excepted.

treaclesoda · 15/05/2016 18:01

I wouldn't really have minded staying at that age if parents had wanted me to, it's not that I was itching to get away and leave them with someone else. But it just wasn't the done thing, it was accepted that once they reached school age, you dropped them off and left them to it, so that's what I did. Having said that, we never had an invitation to a party where the parents were complete strangers, so that probably made a difference. I probably just wouldn't have let them go if it was a complete stranger and I was expected to leave them.

EDisFunny · 15/05/2016 18:01

It's not normal where I live either, parents always stay with their children.

Eastpoint · 15/05/2016 18:02

We live in London and everyone always dropped off their reception age children. They are used to being with their school friends without their parents by this stage of the school year. This included soft play parties, but luckily there weren't many of those.

CassandraAusten · 15/05/2016 18:05

I'd say this is normal for a reception age child. It's also normal to stay - parents do both.

leccybill · 15/05/2016 18:05

I don't think it is hysterical nonsense.
Where I live, it is normal to stay with your child until age 6 ish.
My own DD has a few toileting issues till so I would never leave her at this age, or leave another parent in charge of that.

Where we live is a bit rough, I wonder if that has anything to do with it.

Original poster
PricklyLegs · 15/05/2016 18:05

I was just shocked because all the other parents stayed and no one seemed to know the child well or the mother. I guess if it was a private party I wouldn't have thought it so strange, but at a large playgym with lots of kids and other folk there I figured everyone just stayed.

OP posts:
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