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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Reception Child alone at Party

425 replies

PricklyLegs · 15/05/2016 17:51

Eldest went to the birthday party of a girl in her class yesterday. It was at a playgym which was open to the public - the kids all played then had something to eat. It lasted 2 hours. There were about 12 of them at the party and maybe 50 other kids there with their parents/whoever.

One of the girls in her class was dropped off by her mum and then picked up at the end.

Is this normal for a 4 year old at a playgym party? AIBU to judge said mother for putting the responsibility of watching the 4 yr old on a mother she's only seen at the schoolgates? Anyone could have been there. Anything could have happened.

OP posts:
witsender · 15/05/2016 19:27

Still doesn't happen here, kids are yr 1,2 kind of age. I wouldn't have and still wouldn't leave mine. They would have hated it for a start.

Ilovewillow · 15/05/2016 19:28

I wouldn't at 4 and all the parties my daughter has had no one has left their children until yr 1 (6 ish)! It maybe the mum had left them in the specific care of another adult. I have taken my daughter and another child to a party before and stayed to look after them both!

AugustaFinkNottle · 15/05/2016 19:29

Why would the child need someone to look after her? She's presumably managing fine on her own at school every day.

LittleLionMansMummy · 15/05/2016 19:30

Ds is reception age and has been to two parties at their friend's houses where the invotation stated 'no need for parents to stay'. So we left him and would have no problem dropping him off at a soft play party, but would definitely ask the parents if ok first.

HelenaJustina · 15/05/2016 19:32

I would have told the host that I was dropping and going, but I probably would have done at this point in Reception. I have 3 other DC who aren't invited for a start!

I hosted a party for my Reception age DC this weekend. I had 18 children at my house (including my own) and luckily only 3 parents stayed. It is a pain having to make cups of tea and host adults when you are trying to manage that many children.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 15/05/2016 19:35

Iv left them since p1/p2, So 5-6.

Princecharlesfirstwife · 15/05/2016 19:37

You don't know who Les Dawson is? Shock

Anyway. You're super judgy. Hth.

PricklyLegs · 15/05/2016 19:38

Yep, that does help. I Googled Les Dawson and am pretty pleased that people who watch the likes of him are clearly in a lower class than me. Biscuit

OP posts:
TerriblePlanning · 15/05/2016 19:39

8 is very old for the first leave Smile

Yeah, but it obviously works for our parents. I think it's because most of us work and rarely get a chance to meet up (not many of the children have parties - maybe about half a dozen - although the whole class is always invited) and most of us get along when we do meet up at the parties. We do have have a few SEN children in the class as well (mine included).

EllenJanethickerknickers · 15/05/2016 19:39

I left my DS1 and DS3 by the end of reception. I stayed with DS2 who has SN, along with the helicopter parents and those with very shy DC. And Ballyhoo was a jungle! Grin

Capricorn76 · 15/05/2016 19:39

I've held parties before where parents have asked me to watch their child. I wasn't hovering around their kids just keeping an eye out so it may have looked like nobody was watching them. I'm sure the parent had asked someone to watch this particular child.

I wish people wouldn't be so quick to judge others when they don't even know the whole story.

Only1scoop · 15/05/2016 19:39

Les Dawson

Was pure class

A true Ledge

Princecharlesfirstwife · 15/05/2016 19:40

Blimey I didn't realise that knowing who Les Dawson is was indicative of your social class. You live and learn.

EllenJanethickerknickers · 15/05/2016 19:40

Les Dawson lower class? He was pretty mainstream TV in the seventies and eighties, FGS! You are beginning to sound like a twat, OP.

PinguForPresident · 15/05/2016 19:41

normal IMO.

My daughter had a hole class party for her 5th birthday. It was early November, so 2 months into Reception year. Some kids were 5, some barely 4 (a slew of August-borns in her class). About 50% of the parents stayed - I'd said they were welcome to stay or go, and laid on food for them - and the rest went. It was fine. No one was upset. Everyone had a smashing time.

I think it's a teensy bit precious to be catastrophising about a 5-year-old's party.

PricklyLegs · 15/05/2016 19:42

Lol, Ellen, I was just winding her up. I've Googled him but didn't recognise him. I was born in the 80s, so before my time.

OP posts:
RequestInUse · 15/05/2016 19:42

Also when we've held parties for DS, now 9, we never expected parents to stay but were often grateful if they did. Even if was just in the building and not with the party, ie getting coffee in cafe. Meant they could be on hand, should their child lose their shit for some reason and it couldn't be sorted. DS had at least 1 friend who wouldn't let his parent(s) leave.

Tonkatol · 15/05/2016 19:42

Wow - some really judgemental comments here - obviously a very emotive subject. With regard the age when starting school, all four of my children were born in July or August and the eldest three started the January before they were five and the youngest started when she was 4 years and two weeks old (August birthday), whole year now start in September after 4.

With regards leaving children, by the time my eldest child, DD1, was at school, she had two younger siblings. When replying to an invitation, I usually checked whether it was ok to drop and go , which is what I did if possible. When I organised birthday parties for my children, I always made sure I had family/friends on hand to stay and help me.

By the time children have started school, they are used to being left. They normally knew who the birthday child's parents well and, if not, there were a couple of mums I knew quite well who would NEVER leave their child so I knew there was someone my child could go to in a emergency. I have to say, being quite strict with my children, I think it did them good to go to a party without me watching them the whole time.

There is quite an age gap between my third and fourth child (7 years) but, again, have left her at parties from school age. The only time I would stay at a party would be if it was either I was asked to help, if it was too far to leave and and then return or, in one case, it was a swimming party for reception children. The birthday child had two parents in the water, but also had a much younger daughter with them and I didn't feel happy to leave my daughter in this situation (2 adults with about 10 reception age children plus their younger DD in a junior pool deep enough for them to swim in and a splash pool next to it, as well as the main pool the other side). Admittedly I didn't go in the water but sat poolside so that I could watch my daughter to make sure she was safe.

EllenJanethickerknickers · 15/05/2016 19:42

Hilarious, OP. Hmm

Myinlawsdidthisthebastards · 15/05/2016 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeffalumpHistory · 15/05/2016 19:46

No one around here would consider leaving there 4yo. That I know of.
I don't know many helicopter parents either, it's just the norm to sit on the sidelines so you are responsible for your own child until around 6yo.
4yo ds wouldn't stay without one of us anyway, even if we wanted him to

Abraid2 · 15/05/2016 19:46

Normal round here to dump and run.

Or not.

Nobody judges. Unless the child is upset or disruptive.

Only1scoop · 15/05/2016 19:48

I'm sure you and 'hubby'

Were keeping surveillance on the whole play frame

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 15/05/2016 19:48

Isn't she just? I'm so glad that none of the mums I know nor myself are like this; we have no need to be. Poor sad woman in need of some sort of badge...

alltheworld · 15/05/2016 19:48

I stayed for dc1 but not dc2 because I had an elder child to take care of.

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