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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what became of your birth plan?

186 replies

ollieplimsoles · 14/05/2016 00:15

I just found my birth plan, stuffed down the back of dh's desk.. We never even took it to the hospital!

I had plans of a lovely calm homebirth, no drugs, just hypnobirthing and a water pool.
In the event I was induced and just went with the flow.. I get that a birth plan can be useful if you cant communicate for whatever reason, but I don't think ill bother making one next time.

Did anyone get exactly what they wanted from their birth plan?

OP posts:
TheWitTank · 14/05/2016 00:16

Didn't even do one either time. Just decided to go with the flow and see what happened.

ghostspirit · 14/05/2016 00:18

I never wrote it down was just in my head.. home birth. Scream lots. Gas and air If needed/possible. Baby born. It went to plan.

SnuffleGruntSnorter · 14/05/2016 00:20

The problem with a birth plan is the baby hasn't read it. It's a good way tonnages you thinking bout your options but you cnt really plan something so out of your control.

Original poster
ollieplimsoles · 14/05/2016 00:23

Funnily enough snuffle the midwife said exactly that.

She also told us that the women who make an iron clad birth plan stating every detail always seem to be the ones were everything can can go wrong, does.

Mine was just bullet points for my husband really, where everything was in the bag and how i always want water next to me to drink!

OP posts:
Nonotmenori · 14/05/2016 00:26

Sorry a what?! Lol i decided it wasn't worth my time doing one. Figured the midwives weren't going to bother their arses reading what I didn't know what to write. So basically just went with the flow. Glad I did. I don't regret anything even though it was just me and the midwive Smile

smokeybandit · 14/05/2016 00:26

My first plan was to go natural, at hospital, no drugs. Ended up distressed with gas and air but was relatively quick at 3hrs so not awful. 2nd plan was go for gas and air. Told hospital I was coming, they weren't ready put me in a room off the mother baby ward to wait, ended up having dd there while they were "getting ready, she's not coming yet" and being told to stop screaming because there were mothers and babies next door. Was only there 20 minutes before she was born though so again nice and quick but painful and gas and air made me feel like vomiting that time. I think what it taught me was the best plan is to just go with the flow!

SpeakNoWords · 14/05/2016 00:28

Mine was stapled to my notes and referred to at various points during. Nothing actually went how I hoped it would, but the plan covered various scenarios so it was still useful. It meant that I wasn't being asked unnecessary questions and that decisions could be made quicker, I felt. I'll write something similar this time round I think.

Foslady · 14/05/2016 00:30

My active birth with cord to stop pulsing before being cut ended up with me being induced due to strep B and strapped to a monitor and shouting 'just cut the damn thing and get her on the resuciaid!!!!'

KnitsBakesAndReads · 14/05/2016 00:32

I had a birth plan. The bits that were really important to me (like my DH being there to support me throughout, having skin-to-skin contact asap and breastfeeding shortly after birth) happened and I was delighted about that.

Most of the rest didn't follow my plan. If you'd told me before that would happen I'd have been really upset. As it turns out, the only thing I really cared about was that my baby and I were okay (we were, thankfully!) so I wasn't too bothered that it differed a lot from my birth plan.

SouperSal · 14/05/2016 00:40

I had a very loose one - would prefer home birth, water, hypno, delayed cord clamping; would rather no epidural, episiotomy etc.

Went 2 weeks over, agreed to induction (which meant no home birth and no water), ended up with spinal and forceps delivery and botched episiotomy. Cord was clamped straight away and I practically had to break out 2.5 days later when they forgot to discharge me. Angry

Feelingsolow12345 · 14/05/2016 00:41

I asked for a water birth, gas and air if needed, skin ti skin contact, and make sure DP is looked after and get him involved. i got all that minus the water birth. after birth I was hoping to rest then leave that day (gave birth early hours in the morning) but wasn't to be. had to be rushed to theatre to get stitched up and placenta removed. was in there 2 hours. then as my bladder was badly bruiser had to stay on to be monitored what I passed. fun times.

smokeybandit · 14/05/2016 00:43

SouperSal, what a terrible start Sad

Alisvolatpropiis · 14/05/2016 00:44

My birth plan was essentially "liked idea of water birth, very open to epidural".

As it was my baby was back to back (though really side to side) and after 15 hours of labour I opted for an epidural. It made the next 13 hours much more pleasant.

My waters broke before contractions began (despite what films tell you this is pretty unusual) and in my area they give you 38 hours to deliver in that scenario (because of the risk of infection).

In the end I had the help of a ventouse to deliver my daughter.

Overall I was, and 11months later, happy with it all.

I would say that if you're having the baby in an NHS hospital, chuck them some money for a private room. Not doing so is my big regret.

Mrstumbletap · 14/05/2016 01:10

Birth plan - water birth, no drugs, lots of skin on skin and breastfeeding.

Actual - Breech baby, emergency c section, morphine and every drug there was, very little skin on skin and wouldn't latch.

FFS

ICJump · 14/05/2016 01:20

I got what I wanted from my birth plan because I used it as a tool. It was a way for me to think about options and choices before birth. So when at 42 weeks I chose to have an induction it was part of my plan.

ICJump · 14/05/2016 01:27

And to add the birth plan isn't the same as the birth hope. I wanted a homebirth in a pool looking out our lounge room windows as the sun rose. My closest homebirth midwife is over 2 hours away and I give birth quite fast so my plan didn't include my birth hope because I didn't want an accidental unassisted homebirth

CakeNinja · 14/05/2016 01:41

Didn't bother with one! Have had 3 children, they come as and when they're ready.
Never saw the point in them really, just wanted 3 safe deliveries of healthy babies. No amount of writing about partner support or ice chips or whale music would have gotten in the way of medical intervention had I needed it (it was needed with dc1).
I trusted that they knew what they were doing, I let them get on with it.
A birth plan may result in disappointment, how can you plan the Unknown?

suspiciousofgoldfish · 14/05/2016 01:41

I think birth plans are a concept made up by medical professionals to give expectant mothers the illusion of control.

Great idea in theory - because they allow you to pretend that you are going to have the type of birth you want and that probably makes people feel more relaxed.

Mrstumble*s post sums it up well Grin

Everyone's birth plans should just be
^Rock up and see what happens
^
But then how would we all pass those nine long months of pregnancy? Wink

Cerseirys · 14/05/2016 01:49

Found mine recently. I wanted a water birth with gas and air as pain relief and that's exactly what I got.

LaceyLee · 14/05/2016 01:57

I got what I planned! Looks like I'm the minority. Wanted as natural as possible, water etc. I did habe paracetamol and cocodamol and gas and air but no other pain relief. Was extremely long but she was in a good position so we were lucky in the end. I'm glad I had a plan, although if things had gone wrong obv would have ignored it.

Original poster
ollieplimsoles · 14/05/2016 01:58

Some lucky people and some not so so far.

The only thing I didn't get was my home birth, I did get everything else luckily.

I was terrified of induction and it was the absolute last resort while I was writing my plan. Then she went two weeks over and very low fluid around her so it seemed like a good option. It went really well and I actually enjoyed it,

If you would have told me my delivery was going to go the way it did when I was writing the plan I would have been upset too.

I do think they are useful if the midwife has time to keep checking them and following your wishes, but my delivery was very fast and she wouldn't have had time.

OP posts:
saffronwblue · 14/05/2016 02:03

Somehow it stayed in my bag with the Enya CD and aromatherapy oil (it was 1998) while I had an induction, baby's heart rate dropping, forceps, heaps of stitches and a pretty traumatic time all around.

tinytoucan · 14/05/2016 02:03

Midwife didn't look at mine, she asked DH what was in it as she didn't have time to look! Unfortunately he didn't mention that I had wanted a water birth and I was too busy screaming to mention it (i had said it on the phone, but I think I might have been too far gone anyway, I arrived at hospital at 10cm). I'm still glad I did a plan as it was a flexible one (lots of if, then scenarios) and helped me to think through my options in each case so I was prepared for my first choice not to happen if you see what I mean. It ended up in the bin!

Cineraria · 14/05/2016 02:05

My birth plan just said that I'd like to be in the midwife led unit and would be very open to their suggestions about the best way to get through labour and give birth and that I want as few needle/cannula/injection type things as possible and not to discuss them with me if they were necessary but to talk to DH and then just get on with it. I'd had needle phobia therapy but still felt a bit anxious about it and didn't want the extra worry during labour.

I had a false start a couple of months before my due date and got two steroid shots and an extra blood test.

My waters broke some time before labour started and 24 hours later my labour was augmented which meant using a drip with the induction drugs in it. The midwife who looked after me tried every five minutes to persuade me to have an epidural despite DH and I asking her not to mention it again each time she brought it up and saying wend let her know if it was wanted. At this point I asked for the gas and air and used it between contractions to take my mind off the drip and the midwife!

After that a reluctant placenta resulted in another injection to try to expel it and surgery to remove it with a spinal block, a local anaesthetic to get that in place and an anaesthetist who twitched my drip tube every few minutes.

To cap it off, I had an antibiotic in the drip for the rest of the day and five more doses that poor DH had to inject me with daily at home.

yorkshapudding · 14/05/2016 03:56

Birth plan- Water birth, drug free ideally but will consider gas and air, delayed cord clamping and skin to skin, would like support to establish breastfeeding.

Reality- 48 hour labour, epidural, breastfeeding support non existent, discharged less than 24 hours after birth but ended up readmitted with hospital acquired infection for me and suspected sepsis for DD, she was in SCBU for one week, I was in hospital for two.

Don't think I'll bother writing a birth plan for the next one Grin

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