to ask what became of your birth plan?

[ollieplimsoles]

I just found my birth plan, stuffed down the back of dh's desk.. We never even took it to the hospital!

I had plans of a lovely calm homebirth, no drugs, just hypnobirthing and a water pool.
In the event I was induced and just went with the flow.. I get that a birth plan can be useful if you cant communicate for whatever reason, but I don't think ill bother making one next time.

Did anyone get exactly what they wanted from their birth plan?

It went out th window with DC1 when I was taken in to be induced at 42 weeks. You can't really bounce on a birthing ball while listening to soothing tunes when you're on a syntocin drip . Emergency c-section meant I probably couldn't even have remembered what a birth plan was let alone what mine said afterwards.

I didn't have one with DC2. I just said 'get her out safely and dont butcher me too badly, cheers'.

The midwives complimented me on my birth plan for DD, so I've done similar for DS due next week (although I haven't got round to printing it yet...)

Its just bullet points under subheadings saying things like 'happy to be treated by student or male midwives', 'happy for baby to have vitamin K injection', 'don't mind staying in hospital after birth if necessary but have lots of support at home.' Etc.

As long as you remember when writing it that anything can happen, I think it can be quite helpful.

First one went to plan in that I had the water birth I wanted, however I ended up with a 3C tear which was definitely not part of the plan.

Second one was for an ELCS with delayed cord clamping but ended up with an EMCS. The surgeon delayed clamping the cord as long as he could before I lost too much blood. I was happy with that.

Ha ha ha ha hahaahahha!

My first was a three page epic covering everything from my hoped for water birth up to and including the eventual cs under general. Looking back I cringe a bit. Clearly the mws enjoyed it because one of them answered my buzzer that night and told me she'd been reading it, concluding 'that all went a bit tits up, didn't it?' I pitifully offered that I hadn't had pethidine and she was to nice to point out that I was morphined to the eyeballs....

Second time round it was about four lines. Never came out of the bag, placental abruption meant we went straight into theatre. Third time it was never even printed, ds3 was a month early, we'd had an undiagnosed PROM and an infection had developed, causing another abruption. So, on top of 2 previous cs, he was delivered by emcs.

I don't regret writing it - it did make me think through some stuff and talk to DH. Second time round he knew not to name the baby while I was still unconscious. . My only regret is that we didn't get the chance to talk through the third cs beforehand. The birth plan I'd started was for an elective cs and all I really specified was that I wanted to see the placenta, having never seen either of the other two. As it was, I was too shocked to convey that to DH and the theatre staff and just got a description from DH.

I've given birth three times and it went "to plan" each time. It's mostly luck, I think.
For my third one, the midwife read it and then told her student midwife to just sit back and watch as I obviously knew what I was doing. That was a nice little confidence boost when I was starting to struggle with the intensity of the contractions.

I chose to birth at home for my second and third labours after the poor aftercare with my first baby and because I read that home births are safer for low risk mothers. I've since read about the risk of intervention being higher in hospital births. My birth plans were all very clear that I wanted minimal intervention. I refused induction at 40+12 because I was so desperate to avoid a hospital birth. I don't know whether that helped or whether I was just lucky.

I forgot to do my NCT homework and write my plan. DD came 3 weeks early so I started writing it between contractions: 'Lots of drugs, blah blah, soft lighting, blah blah'. Then emergency CS about four hours later coz she was bungee-ing with the cord around her neck. Birth plans are a joke played on pregnant women to make them feel less scared about giving birth.

Mine was a list of choices based on possible scenarios. I didn't find it to be a joke, the midwives used it to inform their discussions with me, and so it served its purpose. Nothing went how I actually wanted it to go, but that's a different thing.

I also think that it's perfectly possible to say in advance that you don't want x/y/z pain relief options, and then actually stick to that when the time comes. I put down that I didn't want to be offered gas & air, or any of the morphine based pain killers. I put down that I was reluctant to have an epidural unless it was medically necessary. I didn't change my mind when in labour.

Mine were very detailed as in my first birth (twins) I felt like I was being asked endless questions. Worked well with with DD3 and DS and I got the home birth/quiet time/minimal intervention that I wanted.

However last week the only thing it was useful for was threatening to stick it somewhere in DH if he read it once more (it was on really crinkly paper and it was really annoying the crap out of me hearing 'crinkle crinkle crinkle' every time the room was quiet).

DD4 had her own plan - mine was homebirth, pool, skin-to-skin with everything as quiet as possible. Her plan was 11 days late, hospital birth, appear to be taking your time then arrive with me screaming my head off in pain in the bathroom. Did get skin-to-skin though. It did help with the midwives that I really wanted to at least try BF'ing her. one was on the verge of offering/suggesting formula and the other remembered having read it and really, really helped.

I think birth plans can be good as long as folks remember that the baby hasn't read them and things can changed. My first one was like an essay - I feel sorry for that midwife as I think I covered every possible scenario except an apocalypse. The NCT lady was very enthusiastic about them!

I hadn't quite got around to writing my birth plan when I was told I needed to be induced for DD1 as I had preeclampsia. So that was fine - nothing to follow there, and I was able to communicate my wishes about delayed cord clamping/skin to skin etc fine as it was.

With DD2, I did a birth preferences bullet point list. It said things like 'provided no complications arise, I would like a water birth' and 'i would prefer cord clamping to be delayed but once the cord is cut I'm happy to have an injection to deliver the placenta', and 'I do not consent to the use of forceps unless all other options have been explored and there are no alternatives' (that was the only thing I felt strongly about).

It worked well, and as it happened I had a fantastic delivery in water (less good afterwards with a PPH though).

I didn't even get time to commit one to paper; DD was born by EMCS at 34 weeks, seriously poorly, had to be resuscitated and whisked off to SCBU whilst I was being stitched up, then onto a different hospital with NICU whilst I was still waiting for the spinal block to wear off.

I'd been hankering after a water birth up to that point, the pool room was bloody lovely, all mood lighting, murals on the wall, lots of space and mats / balls for out of pool time too.

I think it's a good idea if you're a bit head-in-the-sand about birth (as I was), in that it's helpful to consider various options while you're calm, pain-free and in a position to do some research. I don't think the twenty-fourth hour of labour is the best time for asking 'what's a ventouse?' or 'what are the side effects of pethidine?'.

I understand not everyone wants a plan (which isn't really a plan; it's your preferences), but get frustrated when people act like it's a huge, stupid joke, as if a) giving birth is mindlessly simple and at no point will you have to make any kind of informed decision, or b) all and any decisions will automatically be made for you by medical professionals so pipe down, or c) anyone who does write a plan obviously thinks it's set in stone, ha ha, they'll learn.

I had a very loose one that never left my hospital bag. It was still useful though as making it meant going through what I wanted with DH. In the end DH had to make quite a few decisions as I wasn't capable and while he would have made the same choices anyway, it was easier for him as he already knew what I would want.

Plan was basically: all the drugs.
DS was born reaaallly quickly ( was on hospital for less than 30 minutes before he was born) so no drugs
They even tried to theive the gas and air off me at one point, probably cause it was turning me into a wanker

Meant to add, my birth plan wasn't a schedule of events or anything, more a brief list of 'if X happens, then Y...' and 'if possible, I'd prefer', so I never felt like it was a case of getting exactly what I wanted. In general, I feel like it was read, and my requests were respected, and when something went against them it was explained and I was asked to consent.

I've done this birthing thing 5 times now.

The first one, I planned a water birth with gas etc.... I ended up with a dry birth, baby in SCBU and me with PPH and PTSD.......
Planned dry birth with drips for GBS in the second and possible c-section..... Nope, dry induction.....
No plan with third birth, he was dry with drips. He was my biggest.
No plan with forth, she was a dry birth with drips and decided to try an epidural for kicks.
I had no plan for the fifth, my consultant was planning an induction due to size with drips etc but I went into pre-labour the week before and almost got a water birth (I spent about 6 hours in the lovely pool - quite relaxing), week later, he arrived within 1.5 hours of waking up at home - nearly had him in the car!! No time for drips or anything more than gas (phew, I hate needles). He was born with waters intact (weirdest sensation but not horrible). and meant to be very lucky.

I think birth plans are ok for first timers, maybe they reassure the m2b but after that, reality sets in and we don't bother.

Blimey, after reading this thread, I reckon I'm just going for the elective c-section !

Mine went to plan! I know it's down to luck but there were practical things on my plan. Like delayed cord clamping and no pethadine.

What's the big deal with delayed cord clamping?

I gave birth in Greece where the doctors are notorious for rushing women in for a c section if they get bored of waiting for the baby to come out.

I wanted a natural birth. Couldnt afford the 5 grand for a private hospital so went with the dreaded public health service. From the moment I got there the doctors were awful. Insisted I went for an enema and a shave. Strapped me to the heart monitor belt thing to hear the baby and forced me to have an iv with fluids. After a while a new docter came in, without even a hello opened my legs and began to break my waters. I screamed I didnt want it, they told me my baby was in distress. Broke waters then left without a word.

I wasnt allowed to heart monitor off so could only pace up and down next to the bed. Doctors started muttering about a c section after just 4 hours.

Time to push and was put in stirrups. I told them repeatedly I didnt want epistomy unless necessary. (Its routine here) i felt them injecting me with anesthetic and protested and they told me it was just in case. Eventually a huge orderly came and leaned his elbow on my chest pinned me down and held up a sheet so they could do the epistomy while I screamed at them not to. Dd arrived was plonked on my chest and no assistance given for breastfeeding. While i was trying to savour those first few precious moments with dd giant orderly began pushing hard on my belly to push the placenta out while doctors yanked it out from the cord. Got maybe 10 minutes with dd then she was whisked away for 2 hours for 'tests' even though her apgar scores were never recorded. I was parked in the corridor to watch the doctors eat their lunch and drink coffe for an hour before being taken up to the ward.

The worst part? Dh was not allowed in the delivery room and missed the birth of his dd. The doctors said men are not allowed in in case they faint but its actually so they can bully the woman in peace. At all times there were several doctors, midwives porters and even cleaners wandering into the room to gape at my fanjo.

Me and dd were then held hostage for 4 nights on the ward with them taking dd for blood tests four times per day to check for jaundice. She was fine, they do it to all the babies as procedure. Eventually we had to call the police and the uk embassy to discharge ourselves from the hospital.

Im currently pregnant with number two now, home birth all the way!

I didn't even get chance to write one!

In hospital having a scan to check twins growth, found to have EDF and TTTS. I was bluelighted to the nearest level 3 NICU unit, and given an emergency c-section at 26+1...

All I wanted at the time was 2 live babies, I didn't care how they got them out...

Had a vague plan with DC1 (birthing centre, TENS, G&A, low lighting, calm, chilled etc)

Had 36h of early labour at home and it fucking hurt, by the time I went in I was tired, dehydrated, exhausted and incredibly disheartened that all my hypnobirthing shit hadn't even helped in the early stages.

I had another 15h after arriving at 5cm and although I managed a natural delivery without an epidural my experience was miles away from my "ideal"

Didn't bother with a plan for DC2 but ended up having the exact birth I had planned the first time round... She was delivered 80 minutes after we arrived at hospital with just me, DP and MW present. Aftercare was a bit shocking but birth was fab.... oddly the faster birth was the one that I remember really, really, really hurting!!!

delayed cord clamping

Didn't have one. Thought I would just do what the experts told me and what I felt like at the time. Two births that were relatively pain free and to plan.