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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what became of your birth plan?

186 replies

ollieplimsoles · 14/05/2016 00:15

I just found my birth plan, stuffed down the back of dh's desk.. We never even took it to the hospital!

I had plans of a lovely calm homebirth, no drugs, just hypnobirthing and a water pool.
In the event I was induced and just went with the flow.. I get that a birth plan can be useful if you cant communicate for whatever reason, but I don't think ill bother making one next time.

Did anyone get exactly what they wanted from their birth plan?

OP posts:
NickMarlow · 14/05/2016 08:13

I didn't have one. I had borderline placenta previa, with a scan booked for 36+3. Saw the midwife at 36weeks who said no point in a birth plan til we knew if it would be a c section, and booked me in for an extra appointment at 37 weeks to do it then.

I wasn't expecting to be able to deliver naturally, but my birth plan would have been try water, as few interventions as possible, do whatever is needed to keep us both safe.

What actually happened was I had the scan and was told I could either be admitted to hospital immediately or the next day, and would be in until the baby was born. No warning at all that that would happen. And once I was in, nobody talked me through what would happen in my section until a lovely midwife realised and spent ages explaining how it would all work.

But 10 days later I had a very calm ELCS with skin to skin straight after, which was what I wanted.

Oysterbabe · 14/05/2016 08:16

I intended to write one but DD decided she couldn't wait and popped out at 35+5.

Vaara · 14/05/2016 08:18

Didn't have one. I've never heard of them except on mumsnet!

IJustLostTheGame · 14/05/2016 08:19

I ripped it up after having dd and attempted to eat it
The midwIves were in stitches (after I'd had mine) and then calmly replaces it with toast.

Mine was ludicrous though. It even mentioned ordering pizza.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 14/05/2016 08:21

For DD (PFB), it was one side of A4, bulleted. Very simply with DH's name on there, that I was happy for students etc. Birth went to plan but the retained placenta resulted in a transfer to hospital, extraction in theatre and 4 days in hospital. All home safe and well, and mostly to plan.

DS, again a bulleted list, one side of A4, mostly because I didn't know if I'd be going to the mid-wife led unit or the labour ward. Didn't visit either so had no idea of facilities etc. As it happened, I had DS 20mins after arriving, while still in triage! I bled heavily so was in for two days. Birth plan left the bag long after DS was born and we laughed about me wanting a natural third stage. I had three lots of injections to stop the bleeding and only just avoided having my placenta removed in theatre. 0 to 60 in 2.5 hours!

This plan mostly stipulated that if there were complications, DH should go with DS and leave me, that I want to BF, that I wanted skin-to-skin before weighing the baby. Due to the bleeding, DS was just left on me for ages while they sorted that out anyway.

Not having a third child as DS's birth was loads quicker but more serious complications. Wouldn't want to risk a big bleed at home. Wouldn't bother with a birth plan.

OohMavis · 14/05/2016 08:23

I didn't write one either time, and won't this time either. I've just decided what I would like, ideally, to happen - which is a homebirth.

It was a homebirth last time too but as it happened, there was a midwife shortage so only one could attend, so I had to transfer. I ended up having a nice waterbirth and spending the rest of the night in a lovely MLU suite to sleep it off, and came home at 7am next morning.

The first time I was young and scared and just agreed to whatever they said. Ended up being induced at 40 weeks for no real reason. I wish I'd thought about what I wanted and actually did some research, so I suppose that's where a plan would have been useful... but what's done is done.

LaContessaDiPlump · 14/05/2016 08:23

I think birth plans are a concept made up by medical professionals to give expectant mothers the illusion of control.

1000 x this!!!

TurquoiseDress · 14/05/2016 08:24

I never bothered to even write one.

As a medical student, I remembered clearly how the various midwives made a mockery of women's birthplans...basically saying there's not much point as anything can happen.

I remember one midwife who showed me a birthplan as she just rolled her eyes.

Never forgot those student experiences on labour ward!

Definitely shaped my birth experiences- very happy to have got myself an ELCS with minimal fuss & fight. No regrets!

TheSuspiciousMsWhicher · 14/05/2016 08:25

With DD I wanted a homebirth with minimal intervention from the midwives and no drugs. I wanted to deliver the placenta naturally (no injection) and I wanted to delay cutting the umbilical cord until it has stopped pulsing.

As it turned out, I was only in labour for 45 minutes and gave birth at home before the midwife could get there. There was no pain relief (which I desperately wanted as she was back to back) no intervention at all (I tore very badly) and no option to have an injection to deliver the placenta or to cut the cord before it had stopped pulsing. On paper I got everything I wanted. In reality it was a dreadful experience that left me with flashbacks and a vagina so damaged that I've had to have surgery twice. Sad

Remiggio · 14/05/2016 08:25

Mine was very comprehensive! Amongst it I wrote that I wanted an active birth with gas & air, open to epidural but DEFINITELY not diamorphine...I crumbled pretty quick (very fast induced labour with back to back contractions & back to back baby) and had diamorphine 2hrs in and it was fantastic. 4hrs later there he was. The diamorphine helped me calm down and I got to 10cm after just 2hrs and he came out back to back with no intervention.

Next time I'll probably just write 'get baby here safely!'

YorkieDorkie · 14/05/2016 08:26

BP - water birth with gas and air.*
Reality -* 5 days of contractions, finally admitted to hospital! Lots of pethadine overnight - epidural in the morning so water birth out the window! 16 hours of induction, DD got stuck and finally EMCS with a spinal block.

BombadierFritz · 14/05/2016 08:29

Mine was v detailed in a flowchart kind of way
If ....then ....
I tried to cover all bases :)

We stayed on the first half of the paper - no pain relief, homebirth, pool, natural third stage. Cord was cut tho.

Ilovewillow · 14/05/2016 08:35

The never made it to the hospital as my husband left it in the car along with the bag and it was too quick thereafter. We probably sold it with the car! Second time didn't bother, we had a home birth so didn't feel it was necessary!

Original poster
ollieplimsoles · 14/05/2016 08:40

I like the idea of a flowchart bomb a sort of 'if this happens, do this' type thing.

I was quite calm during the last stage so the midwives asked me if I wanted skin to skin straight away and delayed clamping.

Next time ill probably write that I want complete and unlimited access to gas and air (I loved that stuff).

I also wrote that i was willing to be examined whenever they wanted to. But the examinations were actually the worst part of labour! I needed g&a just for them. So Ill ask them to limit internal exams next time.

OP posts:
Junosmum · 14/05/2016 08:41

I didn't write one as I knew the chance of it being adhered to were slim to none. To set one just sets you up for failure and disappointment.

MissHooliesCardigan · 14/05/2016 08:42

I didn't do one. If I had, it would have said 'Have a baby. Stay alive'.

NotSpartacus · 14/05/2016 08:43

The first time I didn't have one. I was working too hard to give it much thought, and I assumed the hospital would know what to do. In practice, they put me on a monitor and just left me alone with hourly visits to check the trace and to tell me off for not progressing. Result - stuck baby, emcs

The second time I had a lengthy tome that was shoved into the corner and ignored. But I had thought about everything, so when I arrived at hospital fully dilated and was told that DD was not coping, I was on the ball enough to loudly refuse consent for forceps. It was just as well, DD was too high for forceps and I would have ended up with a wounded vagina as well as a CS wound. Result - crash emcs.

CutYourHairAndGetAJob · 14/05/2016 09:05

I didn't write one first time around as DD was born prematurely, before I had really thought about it.

Second time around I did write one. I had a home birth so the midwife had plenty of time to read it and she did follow it as much as possible.

Mumberjack · 14/05/2016 09:08

DD1 - birth plan (within maternity notes) basically just had 'wait and see' for each bit. She was stillborn so didn't have much time to express 'new preferences' ie need to have time with her but luckily hospital was amazing and made our time together special and dignified. Plus physically labour was straightforward and not really difficult.

DD2 & DD3 - both breech & C section so both times the plan just referred to having them as close to me as possible after birth n letting DH do skin to skin if I wasn't able.

They shouldn't be called plans, more 'nice to have' wish lists.

icanteven · 14/05/2016 09:13

My birth plan, such as it was, strongly indicated my desire for an epidural and that was about it.

I felt that a plan was setting me up for anxiety and needless stress when it went out the window (because of the way you can't plan childbirth, esp first time round).

For baby no 2 my plan reiterated my preference for an epi but things happened too fast.

icanteven · 14/05/2016 09:14

I also gathered from the midwives that DH being there, skin to skin contact and breastfeeding right away were pretty much the default in my hospital, so specifying them in a plan would be superfluous.

HungryHorace · 14/05/2016 09:16

I didn't bother doing one as I'd never given birth before and had no idea what I'd want with regards to drugs etc. My plan was to get baby out safely (preferably without forceps, as I didn't like that idea!).

I had wanted to try a water birth, but as it was my labour started with my waters breaking and there was meconium in there, so I wasn't allowed in the water.

It also transpired (after pushing for 2 hours or so) that DD was face presentation and properly stuck, so I ended up with an EMCS (they'd said they wanted to try forceps, but DD was too far up the birth canal, so it was straight to CS instead, which was actually my preferred option over forceps).

stargirl1701 · 14/05/2016 09:20

Yes both times it was followed. I also did a post birth plan the second time as I felt it was more important.

HolaWeenie · 14/05/2016 09:21

Baby had his own birth plan!

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 14/05/2016 09:21

We found it useful for dh, as it helped him feel able to speak for me if needed (he didn't need to ). It was four bullet points of what was most important to me if things went reasonably to plan, plus one to cover the 'if it all goes to shit' scenario.