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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what became of your birth plan?

186 replies

ollieplimsoles · 14/05/2016 00:15

I just found my birth plan, stuffed down the back of dh's desk.. We never even took it to the hospital!

I had plans of a lovely calm homebirth, no drugs, just hypnobirthing and a water pool.
In the event I was induced and just went with the flow.. I get that a birth plan can be useful if you cant communicate for whatever reason, but I don't think ill bother making one next time.

Did anyone get exactly what they wanted from their birth plan?

OP posts:
iPost · 14/05/2016 21:38

Mine was wholly unrealistic.

I had somehow managed to phase out the reality that I was in Italy, got all my information from UK/USA sources and made my mind up based on what people seemed to be allowed to choose over there.

What I wanted was a planned C section. Except that wasn't allowed. But I never actually updated my birth plan and just sat around getting huge, in a massive state of denial.

What I got in the end was an induction in a hospital with a "no pain relief" policy.

Got the C-section in the end.

All it took was 24 hours of screaming, unmediated agony as I went from 3cm to 3.5cm thanks to Mr Big Fat Head being unable to budge, despite all the "massive, crashing waves on top of each other" contractions I had constantly from the time I arrived to the time they rammed the epi in.

And I forgot all my Italian.
While what little English DH speaks went right out the window.
Didn't plan on that.

DS is now almost 16. I have forgotton nothing. He is an only child.

And will remain so until they sell babies pre-baked in the supermarket.

NeverNic · 14/05/2016 21:54

I am completely pro birth plans - BUT I think you need to be realistic, make them easy to read (bullet points), discuss with your birth partner and remember that they aren't a guarantee.

Second birth, I suppose you could say I got my wish list. But it included things that I learnt from the first time like- I get very cold in labour, I become very 'in to myself' and quiet - so not very responsive to chatting or questions. These points helped the mw look after me and because I was so quiet, having what I want afterwards written down and what pain relief I would consider (I have allergies which limit my choices anyway), just helped them care for me. I also didn't ever have the mindset of failing so even though the first time didn't end up being a water birth like I hoped, and skin to skin was impossible straight away (as was delayed cord clamping), I've not really had any negative feelings.

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 14/05/2016 21:56

First went to the absolute letter. Second was born in Reception within seconds of arriving at hospital. Funnily enough that wasn't on the plan Hmm

Drbint · 14/05/2016 21:58

My original birth plan was 'do whatever it takes to get us both safely out the other side'.

That was the plan we ended up having to use after it all went horribly wrong, so yes, I did get the plan I started with!

upontheroof66 · 14/05/2016 22:00

With my 1St birth plan in my head. Wanted water birth gas and air only. Reality had encomium in waters so water birth out. Thought I might aswell have pethidine as water birth out. Ended in crash C-section with GA. 2ND didn't really care just wanted to be awake. After trial labour ended up with emergency C-section due to failure to progress. 3rd planned C-section

eurochick · 14/05/2016 22:30

I'd hired an independent midwife and had a home water birth in my head, although I was realistic about the prospect of transferring in, etc. I got a c section at 34 weeks with a full paediatric team in the room as the baby wasn't doing well. She was whisked off to NICU and I had a tough time in recovery and didn't get to see her for 12 hours. I also wanted to breastfeed but she never got the hang of it, so I expressed for 8 months. Moo.

NorthernChinchilla · 14/05/2016 22:41

x2 ELCS, my request.
OH there both times, and started bf'ing in recovery.

Both went entirely to plan, this time I even got let home the following day.

Therefore quite unusual in that my 'birth plan' went exactly as I wanted on both occasions Grin

TremoloGreen · 14/05/2016 23:16

Well my birth plan said what I wanted to happen in the ideal scenario and then a few things planning for the 'big fear' scenarios (e.g. baby in SCBU and/or a C-section) so I could retain a sense of control even if that happened. First time, it all went beautifully to plan. I didn't arrive at the birth centre with any time for them to read it, but in the case of a straightforward birth, it was all what they did as standard anyway (e.g. delayed cord clamping).

Second time I just recycled the plan. Planned to have a home birth. In the event, DD2 went to 42 weeks gestation, I opted for induction so it all went out of the window. It was horrendous and DD2 was born not breathing. I can honestly say that I didn't give a single fuck about the birth plan from the second labour started. Luckily we were both fine.

honeysucklejasmine · 14/05/2016 23:32

I didn't write one, going along with the "baby won't read it" idea. I knew I wanted all the drugs.

I ended up being induced 24 HR after my waters went, and suffering from hyperstimulation which meant almost never ending contractions. Awful. Epidural after four hours, then twelve hours of pain free dilating. When I went to push, we realised the epidural had come out, so after a few events I ended up in theatre with forceps and a spinal block. It wasn't ideal, but I don't regret it.

I think not having fixed ideas can help with the mental recovery, as there is no sense of failure, or disappointment.

CountessOfStrathearn · 15/05/2016 00:00

"I would be interested to hear from any midwives who post on here what they think of rigid, very detailed birth plans.."

I'm not a MW but I have a very good friend who is an obstetric anaesthetist. She says she frequently comes across people who have written "no epidural under any circumstances" now asking for one who then think they have failed because they 'succumbed', whereas women keeping an open mind about it seem to do better whether or not they have an epidural.

My birth plans each time (expecting DC5 soon) have been:

Birth partner is [name]
Want to keep as active as possible
Obviously want as little intervention as possible but whatever is needed
Would prefer to avoid epidural so I can get home asap but will see how I go
Vitamin K injection for baby
Delayed cord clamping/natural third stage if I am in the pool but happy to see how things go
Important thing is mother & baby alive and well at the end!

I've delivered at home, in the midwife led unit and on delivery suite, having had entirely unmedicated deliveries as well as an epidural when I was induced, and have been pretty pleased how each birth has happened.

DangerousBeanz · 15/05/2016 00:13

My birth plan was "Push the baby out as quickly and safely as possible." I told the midwife. She said, "that's the best birthplace I've heard in ages. " Less than an hour in labour 15 minutes pushing, lovely healthy baby. All went according to plan.

noeffingidea · 15/05/2016 01:29

I didn't have a written birth plan for any of my 3 births.
My secret plan was to knock em out as quickly as possible with minimum fuss. Fortunately, that was able to happen each time.

SpiderAndMouse · 15/05/2016 08:24

I didn't really have one, although I loved (and still do) the idea of a water birth.

Waters broke first, with meconium in, so my water birth was written off from the start.

Got to hospital and put on induction drip. Didn't like gas and air, and 'managed' without any other pain relief. Ouch. One episiotomy and nine hours later... DS arrived.

The episiotomy was probably the best bit - because they have to numb the area, the crowning/final push was LOVELY in comparison to what I'd just been through!

NicknameUsed · 15/05/2016 09:40

I have always wondered about why people put no/little intervention. Surely that's what most if not all of us want. Also wouldn't the medical professionals only intervene if they deemed it medically necessary? So why do people think that medical intervention is so bad?

Fourormore · 15/05/2016 09:58

I think that perhaps depends on your interpretation of "medically necessary".

mirime · 15/05/2016 11:02

I was given a sheet that asked specific questions about interventions, which I thought was a bit odd as can you put anything other than, for example, "I'd prefer not to have a forceps delivery, but if it's necessary I will".

Never felt a failure over having an epidural, even though I'd said I'd prefer not to have one. As I pretty much wasn't allowed off the bed it didn't make much difference at that point, though later on I really should have been asked if I could feel when to push - I couldn't but didn't have much of a clue as to what was going on by that point so couldn't volunteer that important bit of information. Could possibly have avoided DS spending the night in SCBU and a third degree tear.

Muskateersmummy · 15/05/2016 11:04

Dd was prem. No chance for a birth plan. She was meant to be a section and came to quickly for that. We didn't even get a chance to attend the prenatal class !

angielou123 · 15/05/2016 11:06

Mine were just, hospital birth, as many drugs as I could get, and bottle feeding. I don't think you can make exact plans for a situation you have no idea how it's going to turn out. With so few requirements from me though, they pretty much went as planned. Apart from the 4th one which I very nearly had alone in my car!

Netflixandchill · 15/05/2016 11:08

Mine stayed at the bottom of the hospital bag first time, second time I didn't make one and gave birth in my lounge on the sofa after a lovely peaceful home birth, it's worth making one but for a first labour I don't think it goes the way of the plan for most ladies I've spoken to! Midwife didn't even look at mine

unimagmative13 · 15/05/2016 11:17

I didn't have one was very aware of having an EMCS. Ended up with horrendous induction, lots of drugs and infections.

Had a pregnant friend who wanted to donate stem cells, have a home birth, no drugs (in case gas and air effected the baby), skin to skin.
End up begging for drugs and a baby who had an extended stay in NICU. She's never got over and I'm sure it's because of her birth plan.

LaurieMarlow · 15/05/2016 11:38

I had written a lovely piece of fantasy centred around a waterbirth - all natural pain relief, bla, bla. In reality, my waters broke, I didn't go into labour fast enough and I had pretty much every intervention under the sun, starting with induction via drip and ending with a crash Caesarian under GA.

But we both emerged healthy so nothing else really matters. I didn't think twice about the birth plan that never became reality.

I don't think writing one is a bad practice, so long as mums aren't wedded to it. I certainly didn't feel like a failure afterwards. I felt like a fucking hero.

I can't get my head around those people who feel like failures. I'd love someone to elaborate as id like to understand it better.

HemlockStarglimmer · 15/05/2016 12:10

I had never heard of a birth plan until I was given a form to fill in for one. So I did and one of the midwife team went through it with me at one of my appointments so she could say that I might get what I want. But as I had no idea what I wanted that was fine.
There were a couple of things I really didn't want and was fortunate enough not to need either an epidural or a c section.

NicknameUsed · 15/05/2016 12:11

Neither can I Laurie

As far as I'm concerned as long as there is a healthy baby and mother at the end of it, surely that is all that matters?

HemlockStarglimmer · 15/05/2016 12:15

I might not get what I want.

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