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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what became of your birth plan?

186 replies

ollieplimsoles · 14/05/2016 00:15

I just found my birth plan, stuffed down the back of dh's desk.. We never even took it to the hospital!

I had plans of a lovely calm homebirth, no drugs, just hypnobirthing and a water pool.
In the event I was induced and just went with the flow.. I get that a birth plan can be useful if you cant communicate for whatever reason, but I don't think ill bother making one next time.

Did anyone get exactly what they wanted from their birth plan?

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 14/05/2016 18:37

I had a birth plan for DC1, but didn't stick to it at all. I didn't bother doing one for DC2 & DC3.

ToadsforJustice · 14/05/2016 18:39

Mine was simple

No male doctors or midwives.
Don't touch me without my permission.
Don't talk to me.
Leave me alone to get on with it.
If I want help - I will ask.

MrsMook · 14/05/2016 18:51

I didn't really have one with DS1, and had a go with the flow notion at the back of my mind. It ended up with pethidine locking me into the pain of a back to back labour followed up many hours later by an EMCS.

My second birth plan was detailed. I knew that things could go out of control, but wanted to establish my starting points as I had a lot of baggage from the first birth.

Things that were important to me were setting up the MP3 and speakers to have hypnobirthing looping round. (Success) Being supported to be active despite the monitors (which I had an issue with following the first birth) and SPD. We moved the bed and equipment to make some space, and got a mat and birthing ball to kneel on more comfortably. Really I wanted the mobile monitoring kit, but there was never a guarantee on it being avalible, and the set-up we got going worked well enough. Also on there in bold capitals was a refusal for pethadine in all circumstances, and denying permission from DH stating clearly that the pain was preferable.

The labour part was fairly positive, and despite ending back up in theatre with forceps that was borderline for a EMCS, it was well worth outlining what I wanted. It was only the final part of the delivery that went AWOL, and I was able to be much more mentally attuned and able to deal with it.

I think it's well worth stating what your starting points are. The conditons I was put in were not my plan A, but the birth plan helped plan B be acceptable to me when they had the potential to be a nightmare.

suspiciousofgoldfish · 14/05/2016 19:08

Mommawoo that is a shocking story Sad

TheLambShankRedemption · 14/05/2016 19:17

If it hurts, take the drugs. Take all the drugs.

Worked both times.

grumpysquash3 · 14/05/2016 19:20

What's the big deal with delayed cord clamping?

If you wait until it's stopped pulsing, the blood that's in it ends up in the baby. If you clamp straightaway, the blood stays in the cord and gets chucked away.

It is generally thought that it is better for the baby to get the blood (although clearly they can manage without it).

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 14/05/2016 19:21

Didn't do one. Was supposed to do it at my 36 week midwife appointment but I was in hospital being induced for pre-clampsia at that point.

Had an awesome birth anyway. Amazing experience. Funnily enough I'd planned to put "Just give me the drugs" in my birth plan but ended up not going for an epidural and no catheter so it worked out for the better in the end :)

Baboooshka · 14/05/2016 19:24

Jesus, Mommawoo. Please tell me that was decades ago (although I have the horrible feeling it wasn't).

FeckOfffCup · 14/05/2016 19:28

I didn't write one down but the midwife at the hospital went through options of what would have been in it anyway.
I asked for:
A birthing pool - got one and used it but didn't give birth in it in the end
I was open to drugs but not keen on an epidural - I had pethidine and g&a
I wanted delayed cord clamping and got it.

mirime · 14/05/2016 19:29

Mine was essentially to walk about in labour, no epidural, no giving birth flat on my back.

Short version of what actually happened: I developed pre-eclampsia, was induced. Was told they still encouraged you to move about during labour but it was difficult due to the monitor. What actually happened was they were annoyed if I moved too much, I had a much needed epidural after screaming the place down and gave birth flat on my back.

Not having another one as I found the whole thing traumatic, but if I were to find myself pregnant again my birth plan would be very simple - stick to the agreed to treatment and if anything is changed (outside of emergency situations) tell me and tell me why.

Arfarfanarf · 14/05/2016 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 14/05/2016 19:34

My pregnancy was very complicated, multiple babies and all of us at risk.

My only plan, and that of my consultant, was that we should all be alive at the end of it. Nothing else mattered, not the masses of drugs, the huge intervention, the 30-odd people in the room. Fortunately the plan worked well Smile

I can totally understand other plans, and would maybe have liked a gentler one for me, but it simply wasn't appropriate.

coldcanary · 14/05/2016 19:35

First child was practically carved in stone very similar to your OP. Went up the swanny fairly quickly to be honest, as did second child when she shot out so fast the midwife had to nip out before the placenta emerged to turn the tap off to the birthing pool Grin
The only thing that went to plan was the midwives refusing to let DH look down at the business end despite him trying due to his annoying ability to pass out at the sight of blood. They made him stay up at my end and he made himself useful.
Third time was the charm, home birth, calm, quiet with everything in place.

BertieBotts · 14/05/2016 19:36

I think I had mine on my computer Confused lot of help that was!

Got transferred into hospital as was tired (48 hours no sleep latent stage) and of course I didn't have it, so they said okay, only thing we need to know is three questions. Do you want a physiological or managed third stage, and do you want baby to have vitamin k at birth? (In fact i can't even remember the third. May have been only two.)

Birth was fine. The only thing I'd add next time is if I have to lie down because I can't sit or stand, for them to please help me to lie on my side. Don't want to be flat on my back again.

BertieBotts · 14/05/2016 19:38

The thing is, that stuff like monitoring and positions and water pools and pain relief, you can ask for at the time. If it gets a bit touch and go, they aren't going to be asking your preferences anyway, they will just do it. And you don't know what you will want in labour. I hired a TENS machine but loathed it so much I almost launched it across the room.

mirime · 14/05/2016 19:40

Just wanted to add, after the ARM, a doctor made me complete my birth plan, and I did, which was just weirdly optimistic as the whole thing was going out of my control anyway and forgetting the whole thing would have been more sensible at that point.

lightgreenglass · 14/05/2016 19:40

After reading on the internet it was a waste of time I didn't write one. Think the midwife wrote down, open to drugs or something of that ilk.

megletthesecond · 14/05/2016 19:42

Mine was ideally a water birth, minimal drugs etc.

Had an EMCS.

XP a week or so later ..."shall we have a ceremonial burning of that birth plan?".

oompaloompaland · 14/05/2016 19:51

Never even had one. A very kind relative paid for us to have a doula - my only instruction to her was "I don't do pain very well". As it turned out I had an emergency c-sec 2 months premature and so everything was taken out of my hands anyway. But it was comforting to know that there was someone there who knew how terrified I was and would have fought my corner if it had been necessary.

Mommawoo · 14/05/2016 19:54

Jesus, Mommawoo. Please tell me that was decades ago (although I have the horrible feeling it wasn't).

It was 18 months ago Sad

Original poster
ollieplimsoles · 14/05/2016 20:57

quite a few home births on here! My birth plan was written around a home birth but it transferred to hospital quite well.

I do wish I had written that I want to breastfeed right away, as they were asking me a lot of questions after the birth that could have easily been answered if I gave them my plan!

OP posts:
NicknameUsed · 14/05/2016 21:04

I would be interested to hear from any midwives who post on here what they think of rigid, very detailed birth plans..
Also what they think of stipulations such as no intervention/pain relief etc.

Vaara · 14/05/2016 21:10

Bertie I didn't get chance to get my TENS out of the bag!

I gave birth in a foreign language so was total passenger throughout. I couldn't even formulate a thought in that language!

Original poster
ollieplimsoles · 14/05/2016 21:16

I would be interested to hear from any midwives who post on here what they think of rigid, very detailed birth plans..
Also what they think of stipulations such as no intervention/pain relief etc.

Oooh so would I!

I had two fabulous midwives looking after me who told me they do need to read and try to stick to the plan as much as possible as it can cause problems later on if things go wrong and the mother asks for a birth debrief.

But they also said it makes it hard for them if the plan is too rigid, they helped me write mine and manage my expectations on the day.

Toad

Is there any reason yours was so, so rigid and you didn't want to be touched or spoken to? Not a criticism I genuinely want to know if you'll share.

OP posts:
Witchend · 14/05/2016 21:24

Dc1 was roughly as little intervention as possible. Definitely no epidural or episiotomy. Guess what two things I had.

Dd2's stated that I wanted an epidural as soon as possible, preferably given at about 8.5 months to be sure of covering the whole labour. Midwife laughed when she read it. laughed I tell you. Who laughs at a woman in labour?
I didn't have one because I said I'd ask when it got worse and it didn't.

Ds I didn't bother.