to ask what became of your birth plan?

[ollieplimsoles]

I just found my birth plan, stuffed down the back of dh's desk.. We never even took it to the hospital!

I had plans of a lovely calm homebirth, no drugs, just hypnobirthing and a water pool.
In the event I was induced and just went with the flow.. I get that a birth plan can be useful if you cant communicate for whatever reason, but I don't think ill bother making one next time.

Did anyone get exactly what they wanted from their birth plan?

I should have added, the single most useful purpose of my birth plan was for DH to have a reference. We talked it through together. He had in writing what I hoped for in several different scenarios. He knew clearly what I needed him today if he needed to be my advocate. It specifically included him as having early skin to skin etc. It was a really useful thing to do together and include him in.

I don't know what happened to it apart from no one at the hospital even looked/asked about it. I suppose it gave someone a job coming up with the idea.

I wrote my birth plan in the NCT manner. Got to the hospital. Demanded an epidural before I hit the ward.

'Oh no dear, we read your birth plan, the birth pool is waiting for you!'

Fortunately the stars aligned and everything went fine, but I hadn't expected to be the one ignoring my beautifully laid out A4 plan

No but I did have experienced midwives for each of my births and we always had a rough plan A (water birth at home) and a well researched plan B (birth in a very unhospital like private hospital where I knew and liked the consultants). I would say the main thing is to have a plan B. Although you can't control how a birth will go, you can control the options available to you if it isn't straightforward.

With DD1 in particular, everything that could derail our plan A did. She was over 4 weeks late, which meant I chose to have extra monitoring, including dropping in to the hospital every day to check all was OK for the last week or so. When I finally went into labour she was OP after nearly 24h so we decided to transfer to hospital and I spent a night on a drip after the birth due to excessive blood loss. I was very glad we had a plan B and didn't ever feel that I wasn't the decision maker.

With the eldest it was a useful tool for educating ourselves about options but it all went out the window when we discovered he was breech at 41wks and had a section. With the second, it was the same again - aim for a regular hospital birth and it was fine that time.

With the third, however, I was more specific about wanting certain things. We wanted a home birth, delayed cord clamping etc. The lovely things about that was that I had the same midwife all the way through to delivery so she knew what I wanted and was very supportive. That was a great experience.

Didn't have a plan written down, but got most of what I wanted anyway. The only thing I wanted that didn't happen was that I didn't get to use the pool because I was at 9cm when I was moved from maternity triage to the birth centre and DS arrived 45 minutes later.

Mine was things like delayed cord clamping, if I had a section I wanted her to be placed straight onto my chest unless there was urgent medical need (resus etc) etc
Everything else was go with the flow.
In my head I wanted a natural birth but ended with a section which I knew was v likely anyway as she was a v large baby, and was showing no sign of feeling ready to come out without encouragement!

"I never wrote it down was just in my head."

Same here. I don't think birth plans were a "thing" when DD was born (pre broadband and widespread internet use). I just went with the flow and had in mind TENS and painkillers as and when necessary, and that was it.

I figured out that the midwives knew far more about giving birth that I did and I would follow their lead.

In the end I had a text book straightforward labour.

I didn't have one, just went with the midwife. If I'd had a second one I might have made a plan but DH and I decided not to.

My birth plan was to be on the MLU, be as active as possible, gas and air and TENS, no epidural, delayed cord clamping and immediate skin to skin. DS has other ideas. He was back to back and I spent most of the first stage of labour on my hands and knees unable to move. I did only have gas and air and TENS though. I got to 10cm pretty quick but then DS got stuck and refused to move for the next 6 or so hours, at which point I was transferred to the labour ward utterly exhausted from the horrible contractions. Epidural, drip, and finally episiotomy and forceps delivery. DS inhaled tons of mucus and was put on my chest for literally a second before the cord was cut immediately and he was whisked away to have his airways cleared. So we didn't get our skin to skin until about 20 minutes later. However he did then stay there for about 2 hours while they dealt with another emergency, stitched me up and found me a bed on the post natal ward.

The midwives did read my birth plan and did take note of it. It was useful to make it but as everyone else has said, to be fully prepared to change it. I followed my NCT instructor's advice to start with the ideal and then do "if ... then ..."

I wasn't at all scared about the birth during pregnancy - DS is my PFB and I had a very easy straightforward pregnancy so I sort of assumed the birth would be the same. It was a huge shock to the system that it wasn't and really quite traumatic for me. I wasn't prepared for feeling so out of control. DS is 10 weeks old and I am far from over it - at this point I am still very much thinking that DS will be an only child!

I obediently wrote mine down and took it to the hospital and everything went according to plan. But tbh dh and I had discussed everything anyway so could have just kept it in our heads. It was basically 'nice birthing suite (NHS hospital but they had a really good one), gas and air but don't rule anything out if pain becomes too bad - I'll judge it'. We'll be doing it again in Nov but I don't intend writing anything down this time - will take it as it comes. I really don't think that in most cases you can plan, every birth is different and you have to judge it on how you're feeling when you're in that situation. Another time I might demand all the pain relief going and end up with forceps/ cs delivery!

I didn't bother with one.

I'm not a controlling sort of person and knew that planning something so prone to change might lead to disappointment.

I'm a great believer in not expecting things and therefore not being disappointed... Well, I try.

God, that makes me sound like a real bundle of laughs

I wrote mine out and I think they are a useful tool to get you thinking about what you want to happen and making sure you and your birth partner know what you want. It is important to be flexible though. Mine had that I preferred to use tens, water and gas and air for pain relief. I wanted to be able to move about. I wanted a water birth. I preferred to try to birth the placenta without the injection and I was happy for baby to have the vit K injection. I wanted to breastfeed. I think that was about it. In the end I needed the injection for the placenta but everything else went as I wished (apart from the stitches!). I was very lucky. I had a great experience at the hospital. I had been put down for consultant led care after baby threatened to come early but as he was at term I saw no reason not to have a midwife delivery which meant I could use the pool. On arrival I told anyone who would listen until a Dr came to see me and said yes that was fine. The midwife asked what I wanted at the start and tried to make it happen, it all felt pretty relaxed. I never felt scared or out of control and I think that was because I knew what my options were and what might happen and I felt I was being listened to. I had less than 4 hours in hospital before DS was born. Thought I wanted music playing - I didn't, and I though I would want to walk round but actually found I needed to sit down every time I had a contraction! Minor points those though 😊

I think birth plans are a concept made up by medical professionals to give expectant mothers the illusion of control

There shouldn't need to be any illusion. Expectant mothers should be in control.

(Giving birth should be something you do, not something done to you. It's cost me many hundreds of £s to come to terms with that.)

My birth plan went completely down the shitter with DD! I ended up being induced two weeks early and baby was monitored throughout. The only thing that stayed the same as my "plan", were my choices re: pain relief.
The only plan I have for this pregnancy is that I would prefer a home birth this time around. But I won't be writing a formal birth plan.

I do slightly blame my Nct class for my bullshit no intervention birth plan work of fiction

Mine went completely out the window, I was adamant I wasn't going to have pethadine but I ended up having it as I needed to sleep! I think most people's birth plans go out the window.

Nothing with my first, I was in hospital for 2 hours before he was born and spent most of it being told that I was probably not far along and that they'd check me eventually. With my second we'll have to see, I've written in my notes that I want to get given an epidural if I get there early enough.

Purplepixiedust the kind of things you wanted were what was in my head. I didn't need to write them down.

Some of the more detailed stuff that people talk about nowadays just didn't occur to me - cord clamping and cutting, getting rid of the placenta etc. I just left it up to the midwives. Besides OH faints at the sight of blood so he wouldn't have wanted to have anything to do with the cord.

Giving birth should be something you do, not something done to you. It's cost me many hundreds of £s to come to terms with that

This was probably the single most important piece of advice I read whilst I was pregnant. Once it went in, everything seemed to fit into place for me.

I threw away my rigid plan and just went for a few bullet points and a 'what to do if everything goes tits up' sort of thing. But I wasn't scared of inductions or c sections or interventions anymore, because I knew I could have some sort of control over myself. I was able to listen to my body more. Which I realise for some is easier said than done in the circumstances.

I want to know what these women who write really rigid birth plans do if/when things do go wrong? We were talking about it in my NCT class and one lady had the strictest birth plan ever, it was more like a set of rules for the midwife.

Cottonsock

This is what this lady had at my NCT class, STRICT no intervention, no examinations, no one to offer pain relief etc..

For example, my glasses were taken from me when we went to the delivery room at the hospital. Combined with the effects of gas and air it made for a surreal experience where I had no idea where I was or who was there. It's contributed to PTSD and would have been very simple to avoid. My counsellor is an ex midwife and she's really angry about the way I was treated.

mine was "be flexible but here are some preferences....."
most went out of the window after an emcs.

am expecting dc2, this time it will say "put a canula in my hand the second I walk through the door. do not give me diamorphine under any circumstances."

the rest I will make up as I go along.

Didn't have one.
I ended up needing an elcs ( non negotiable for serious potential risks) so I just asked if it was possible to have delayed clamping and immediate skin to skin. It wasn't possible (I wish I'd been able to have immediate skin to skin but ds' welfare was paramount

Flexible but preferences. Yes, that's a good way of putting it baskingtrout

I didn't write one, was just hoping for my platelets to be high enough to end up on the MLU and not to get induced. Vaguely hoped for an active birth/to maybe try the birth pool/ and to manage without pain relief or just with gas and air.

I was lucky, started having contractions in the night, drove in hospital around 7am and had DS in the afternoon. I got a lovely empowering water birth in the MLU with gas and air.

Had a hour of skin to skin before they checked me out...I had a 3rd degree tear which I really wasn't expecting but the hospital by lucky coincidence had some specialists in perineum issues and I think it's healed well (haven't had my 6 week check yet)