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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed I get given less food because the cook thinks I need to lose weight?

207 replies

MrsAttending · 10/05/2016 07:21

We have catering on site and the lady who serves it (2 days a week) always gives me less than my colleagues. On other days a different lady serves and I get the same amount.

She's very slim and always talking about diets etc. I need to lose weight and it's very noticeable that she agrees when she serves up my food. It's a set menu e.g. I'll be given two sausages and one scoop of mash) and my colleagues would get three sausages and two mash.

I know it sounds petty but I am just as hungry as they are!!

She came into the staff room about 5 hours after lunch and I was having a snack and she said "you're not eating again"Shock as if I couldn't possibly be hungry after the tiny meal she gave me.
Then yesterday I was eaten a homemade biscuit given to me as a thank you and she saw me and said "I've seen you" like I had been caught doing something wrong.

AIBU to be annoyed she is treating me noticeably differently? I pay the same as everyone else! It's a small environment so can't really complain.

AIBU?

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 10/05/2016 07:25

If it's a set menu, ask her for the rest when she's serving. Don't make a big deal out of it, just say you're hungry today so you'd like the full amount like everyone else. Repeat daily until she gets the message. She can hardly refuse!

I'd be really irritated if someone kept commenting on my food. It's totally unnecessary and you don't need her to regulate your meals.

ootsideinbacktaefront · 10/05/2016 07:25

God that's awful, I'd be raging. My sister in law used to do this but for the opposite reason, she'd say your small so you can't eat much and give me a tiny portion. I'd be ravenous Grin, it really annoyed me. sorry I'm not helpful just wanted to empathise.

LifeIsGoodish · 10/05/2016 07:27

Don't even say you're hungry, just say "I'll have the full amount, please."

YANBU and do not have to justify your choices to her.

PalaceResident · 10/05/2016 07:28

That would drive me MAD! Tell her you'd like the same as the others or ask is your price discounted. Even if you leave behind one sausage and the extra scoop you're entitled to get the amount you're paying for. What a cheek!!!!

MistressChalk · 10/05/2016 07:28

If someone pulled that crap with me I'd eat them. That's incredibly rude and not at all professional.

I would definitely complain but if you feel you can't then you need to speak to this woman face to face and tell her to keep her beak out of your eating habits and to treat you the same as everybody else.

MiaFarrowsWheelbarrow · 10/05/2016 07:29

YANBU. Next time she does it ask her loudly where the rest of your meal is and show her up, no one made her the food police, it's her job to dish it up not to calorie count on your behalf.

Whocansay · 10/05/2016 07:29

Have you said to her that you want to lose weight? She sounds like she's trying to be helpful rather than nasty.

I wouldn't like someone policing my food either though. You need to ask for the rest of your dinner / ask her why she's being so rude whenever she mentions anything.

Janefromdowntheroad · 10/05/2016 07:32

She knows you know she's doing it.

You're letting her get away with it by not saying anything.

timelytess · 10/05/2016 07:32

She sounds like she's trying to be helpful rather than nasty.

Sounds nasty to me. Don't let her get away with it. 'Can you just explain to me why my meal is smaller than others, though we pay the same?'

Start taking photos. Get evidence.

She has no right to police your eating.

ghostoftheMNchicken · 10/05/2016 07:33

The commenting on my biscuit thing would give me the fucking rage. Why do some people think it appropriate to police other people's food intake?

I would have words, 'My diet is no business of yours. Please stop commenting on what I'm eating and taking it upon yourself to police my food.'

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 10/05/2016 07:36

I don't think she's trying to be helpful at all. She's clearly formed an opinion about your weight and it's actually none of her bloody business, I'd have a quiet word. So rude.

Years ago I worked somewhere with a subsidised staff canteen and the older women serving would do this with all the women ie a woman would get what you described, a man would get more. It was irritating but at least nobody felt singled out!

Fairylea · 10/05/2016 07:38

I'm raging for you! How fucking rude!

I'd complain actually. It's discrimination.

PuppyMonkey · 10/05/2016 07:38

I hope you're not paying the full price?

acasualobserver · 10/05/2016 07:39

If you want to lose weight you really have to be in control of the process yourself. Other people unilaterally taking it upon themselves to 'help' is very damaging. I agree with others - say something. Hopefully you'll only have to have the conversation once.

Original poster
MrsAttending · 10/05/2016 07:39

No we have never discussed weight loss (except her telling me how she likes to go 8 hours between meals etcHmm)

The menu just says 'sausage, mash and veg' with no quantity on it but having worked there so long, everyone knows that equates to 3 sausages and two scoops of mash. It's only when you get in the staff room and you compare plates you can see I have less.

OP posts:
DustOffYourHighestHopes · 10/05/2016 07:43

Don't mention your weight or diet, that's not the point. The point is, you paid the same as everyone else and should get the same amount. Tell her straight out, esp if there is someone in front of you with the correct amount so you can point at it.

EponasWildDaughter · 10/05/2016 07:43

You need to ask for more when she's serving. If you know full well how much everyone usually gets of each different meal then pull her up on it.

She sounds like a cow to me.

And yes 'sorry, but please can you stop commenting on what i'm eating?' is not rude and you can say this to her without sounding confrontational.

Lweji · 10/05/2016 07:43

I'd ask her what business is it of hers in front of everyone.

HisNameWasPrinceAndHeWasFunky · 10/05/2016 07:45

You need to address this. Tell her to mind her own fucking business and butt out if your life.

Actually she sounds like such a loon I'd be worried she would then interfere with my meals in other ways.--

AugustaFinkNottle · 10/05/2016 07:47

Pull her up on it every time - point out if you're paying the same as everyone else you're entitled to receive the same. To be honest, I don't understand why you haven't been doing this anyway.

FV45 · 10/05/2016 07:52

Not relevant to the topic, but that's a pretty big meal isn't it! 3 sausages and 2 scoops of mash and veg.

BeckysMediocreHair · 10/05/2016 07:52

I'd be taking that to her manager. She should not be getting away with insulting the weight and eating habits of customers. She'd learn to keep her gob shut with a disciplinary on her file.

TendonQueen · 10/05/2016 08:00

Make sure you go after your colleagues in the queue. Then you can point to their plates and say 'hey, they've got three sausages and I've only got two, what's going on?'

TendonQueen · 10/05/2016 08:01

Sounds fine to me FV. Horses for courses.

expatinscotland · 10/05/2016 08:02

'I would have words, 'My diet is no business of yours. Please stop commenting on what I'm eating and taking it upon yourself to police my food.''

This. It's not rude of you to say this. It's rude of her to be commenting like this AND giving you less food when you paid the same.

Don't let her away with it.

She continues and you need to complain. What a cow she's being.