To be annoyed I get given less food because the cook thinks I need to lose weight?

[MrsAttending]

We have catering on site and the lady who serves it (2 days a week) always gives me less than my colleagues. On other days a different lady serves and I get the same amount.

She's very slim and always talking about diets etc. I need to lose weight and it's very noticeable that she agrees when she serves up my food. It's a set menu e.g. I'll be given two sausages and one scoop of mash) and my colleagues would get three sausages and two mash.

I know it sounds petty but I am just as hungry as they are!!

She came into the staff room about 5 hours after lunch and I was having a snack and she said "you're not eating again" as if I couldn't possibly be hungry after the tiny meal she gave me.
Then yesterday I was eaten a homemade biscuit given to me as a thank you and she saw me and said "I've seen you" like I had been caught doing something wrong.

AIBU to be annoyed she is treating me noticeably differently? I pay the same as everyone else! It's a small environment so can't really complain.

AIBU?

[kelda]

' I am just saying that I find it amazing that people can be so timid.'

which comes across as blame, intentional or not.

[WeatherwaxOrOgg]

Blacksquirrel Tue 10-May-16 08:16:47

Everytime she comes into a room where you are, loudly say neenaw neenaw! Here comes the food police!....Everytime

THIS is the perfect reply! She'd feel really stupid eventually.

[Pinkheart5915]

Very rude of her to do this.

You pay the same amount for your lunch as everyone else and should be given the full meal.
You weight is none of her business.

I can understand why you haven't said anything, it must be embrassing for you. You need to try and find your voice just say something like " I would like the advertised portion please"

[georgiatraher]

On the other hand... if you want to lose weight portion control is a great way to do it.

Granted its ridiculous shes imposing it on you without your say so, and weightloss needs to be your choice, so sure, ask her for the full amount.

But you then cant be sad about not losing weight.

Maybe change your attitude about it and try to appreciate a smaller lunch.

[PovertyPain]

Maybe change your attitude about it and try to appreciate a smaller lunch

Maybe try to show some compassion to the OP. If she wanted diet advice, she'd ask for it.

[Perbsy]

georgia, I can only presume you're being sarcastic.

[Catmuffin]

Good post at 11.52 kelda.
The Neenaw food police suggestion is a good one.

[Ambroxide]

To be honest, it is difficult to say this sort of thing to someone's face when you already feel you are being judged. I think personally that OP should approach this rude woman's supervisor and explain what is going on. I am sure they would be as horrified as we all are.

[LookJustCancelTheCheque]

georgia, your comments are out of order. The OP isn't asking for diet or eating advice.

[QuimReaper]

You should approach a supervisor or similar OP, but you should have photos to back it up and people to confirm the photos are of the portions as they came so the food police can't deny it.

Personally I think you'll look silly and a bit of a knob if you do the nee-naw thing.

[WorraLiberty]

Photos are an excellent idea

And point out it only ever happens on the 2 days that this woman works.

[MoonfaceAndSilky]

Maybe change your attitude about it and try to appreciate a smaller lunch.

Well then she should have to pay a smaller amount too

[EponasWildDaughter]

It's very easy to type advice out from an onlookers point of view (although on a forum that is all we can do) and i'm sure OP does feel uncomfortable about just asking for more.

It sounds as if she's not often in a position to be able to point at other's plates and compare them on the spot:

''everyone knows that equates to 3 sausages and two scoops of mash. It's only when you get in the staff room and you compare plates you can see I have less''

If you are sure of yourself re: her giving you less than everyone else there's no need to back yourself up with big gestures/photos/excuses/threats. She knows what she's doing. You know what she's doing. She knows you know.

Take a deep breath next time, look her in the eye and calmly say 'Please stop controlling my portions. I want the same as everyone else'.

I'd bet money that all the shite would stop there and then.

[leotwist]

What a bloody bitch! It's not just rude of her to comment on what you eat; it's fat-shaming and bullying. Make sure to tell her in front of other people to stop commenting on what you eat; to give you the same portion as everyone else, which you pay for; and that you really don't appreciate being bullied at work by her. Hopefully, she'll feel sufficiently ashamed of herself to stop.

[FullTimeOfTwo]

Sod asking her for more (or a full portion) as has been suggested, your size is none of her god-damn business and you should let her know that!

If she were a concerned friend or a member of your family and weight was an ongoing issue that had been discussed then fine, but this woman does not know you and needs to back off the self-righteous little bitch!

If you wish to be polite next time there is a biscuit like comment just belittle her by asking her politely to keep her snide remarks to herself.
Alternatively tell her to fuck off before you shove the biscuit up her arse

[Thefitfatty]

I love some of the posters that pop up on threads about diet and fat shaming. The point here is being denied a service that the OP is paying for, not whether or not 3 sausages is too much or whether the OP should lose weight. That's her business.

[WorraLiberty]

Sod asking her for more (or a full portion) as has been suggested, your size is none of her god-damn business and you should let her know that!

So how do you suggest she gets the same sized portion as her colleagues?

This seems to have gone on long enough already, without allowing it to continue any longer.

[FullTimeOfTwo]

I'm pretty sure once she makes it clear her weight is none of this woman's business normal service will resume. She is getting away with this because she can, she needs to be told...firmly!
Asking her for more food is simply going to play into the condescending wenches hands and she will merely look down on OP for wanting more food.
This is more than just food this woman needs bringing down a peg or two.

[acatcalledjohn]

Please don't blame her. There is a lot of this on this thread, people telling her why on earth hasn't she stood up for herself.

She hasn't stood up for herself because she feel embarrassed and humiliated. And this is made worse by the posters on her suggesting she needs to apologise and justify why she wants the full portion by saying she feels hungry or has a medical condition, and those telling her three sausages is too much anyway.

MrsAttending you have no need to justify or explain yourself to anyone. No need to feel embarrassed by the caterer's bullying and petty behaviour.

^ This.

I would be complaining about her attitude after trying to nip it in the bud with a "Giving me smaller portions than my colleagues constitutes bullying and I suggest you stop singling me out, or I will take this further". To the point, calm, factual, and most importantly: impersonal. She's incredibly rude imposing her ideas on you and you have every right to call her out on it. If it makes you feel better make sure you have a supportive colleague with you - you could even ask your colleague(s) to point out the difference in portion size when you're being served.

FWIW, I am a little too heavy (BMI of about 26), but because I am 5'10" and therefore don't really show it people keep telling me that I "don't need to lose weight". It can be a pain because it makes it harder to try to lose weight when your efforts are being brushed off as unnecessary.

[SpartaCarcass]

I hope you try a different tactic this lunchtime.
Rude woman.

[Chippednailvarnishing]

georgia how about starting your own thread about your own food ishoos, rather than trying to project them on to other people, like the OP's colleague is.

[myusernamewastaken]

I am fuming on the OP's behalf.....I would complain to the womans manager or supervisor....as others have said this is bullying and she has absolutely no right to dictate your portion sizes x

[Queenie73]

My fantasy self would stand up to this kind of behaviour and demand equal treatment. My actual self would run away and cry. I'd feel humiliated and worthless.

I really hate it that anyone thinks this is an acceptable way to behave, it's hideous. From the age of about 8 I was told that I was too fat (I wasn't, looking at old photos I can see that I was exactly the same as other girls my age). My mother controlled my food and when I was 11 she put me on my first diet- nothing but grilled chicken, lettuce and grapefruit for a fortnight. This formed the pattern for the rest of my childhood. I wasn't fat when she started but I bloody well was by the time i left home.

OP, could you write an email to this woman's supervisor? It might be easier to remain calm and factual and not get upset. Or if someone else could go with you to speak to the supervisor and back you up, that might help. I don't think that confronting her yourself is likely to be helpful because she will just see it as evidence that you are greedy and need her "help".

[sue51]

This sounds like bullying to me. I would definitely ask to recieve the same as eveybody else as that is what I had paid for. Any further body shaming crap from her would be reported to her line manager