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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed I get given less food because the cook thinks I need to lose weight?

207 replies

MrsAttending · 10/05/2016 07:21

We have catering on site and the lady who serves it (2 days a week) always gives me less than my colleagues. On other days a different lady serves and I get the same amount.

She's very slim and always talking about diets etc. I need to lose weight and it's very noticeable that she agrees when she serves up my food. It's a set menu e.g. I'll be given two sausages and one scoop of mash) and my colleagues would get three sausages and two mash.

I know it sounds petty but I am just as hungry as they are!!

She came into the staff room about 5 hours after lunch and I was having a snack and she said "you're not eating again"Shock as if I couldn't possibly be hungry after the tiny meal she gave me.
Then yesterday I was eaten a homemade biscuit given to me as a thank you and she saw me and said "I've seen you" like I had been caught doing something wrong.

AIBU to be annoyed she is treating me noticeably differently? I pay the same as everyone else! It's a small environment so can't really complain.

AIBU?

OP posts:
VestalVirgin · 10/05/2016 08:25

Agree that 3 sausages and 2 scoops of mash is a lot. Portion size is one of the things that helps drive obesity.

Only if you obsessively eat everything that is on the plate, which most people don't (And those who do were usually raised to do it by the same kind of person who then shames them for their weight.) and then eat a full size meal in the evening, too.

If this annoying person believed that the portion size is too big, she would give everyone smaller portions.

ExitPursuedByABear · 10/05/2016 08:27

If I were in that position I would be mortified asking for more.

Oh look, the fat woman asking for more food.

It is a bit of an impossible situation. Or it would be for me.

BaronessBomburst · 10/05/2016 08:31

VestalVirgin Yep, I'm related to one of those. :(

TheOptimisticPessimist · 10/05/2016 08:32

What difference does it make if some people think it's a lot? Whether or not OPs reduced portion sizes are 'enough' is totally irrelevant Confused

The point is this woman is taking it upon herself to decide how much OP should be eating and is reducing her portions accordingly. It's absolute bollocks! Smaller portions should be at Ops request, they shouldn't be forced on her. If the portion sizes are generally too big then they should be reviewed for everyone, not just those that she decides are too big!

Absolutely complain OP!

PovertyPain · 10/05/2016 08:32

Who the fuck cares wether people consider it a large meal or small meal? The main point is, this cheeky fucker has NO right treating anyone like this. You're paying the same price as everyone else and you're entitled to the same meal! I'm so bloody angry on your behalf, OP. Angry

You need to stand up for yourself, OP, or this will get worse. By not doing something about it, she will think she can say whatever she likes. Are you going to wait until she has you in pieces? A poster asked a very good question, "does she do this to any of the men?" I bet we all know the answer to that. She wouldn't dare because they wouldn't put up with her crap. She's there to do a job, not comment on your weight. What's the worse that can happen? She falls out with you and sulks? Then she really would be doing you a favour.

EmmaWoodlouse · 10/05/2016 08:34

Yes, this is outrageously unfair. Just ask for more. There's no need to be embarrassed - it's none of her business what size you are or how much you eat.

You could probably technically accuse her of bullying over the comments when you have a snack, but you shouldn't need to - just start responding that it's not up to her to tell you what to eat.

YellowDinosaur · 10/05/2016 08:34

You need to wear this badge Grin

And tell her she is over stepping the mark by trying to police what you eat because you find it rude and unprofessional.

To be annoyed I get given less food because the cook thinks I need to lose weight?
Hiddlesnake · 10/05/2016 08:38

I find this message helpful when people comment on my size.

To be annoyed I get given less food because the cook thinks I need to lose weight?
Hiddlesnake · 10/05/2016 08:38

Epic cross post!

TheUnsullied · 10/05/2016 08:41

You'd get 2 sausages and a scoop of mash on a kids' menu.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/05/2016 08:42

Unless she's your mother and you're 12, then she's being officious, rude and going well beyond the boundaries of acceptable behaviour.

I think you should maybe ask her for the rest of your meal first and foremost, and if she refuses, then tell her that she's discriminating against you - doesn't matter if it's not a legal "thing", she actually is anyway, because she's refusing to give you the same as other people on the basis of what SHE thinks about your size and weight - and you'll be taking it up with HR. She's also "bodyshaming" you at the same time, which is just rude.

herecomethepotatoes · 10/05/2016 08:48

"Make sure you go after your colleagues in the queue. Then you can point to their plates and say 'hey, they've got three sausages and I've only got two, what's going on?'"

Yep. Exactly this.

"Not relevant to the topic, but that's a pretty big meal isn't it! 3 sausages and 2 scoops of mash and veg."

Really? It's what my skinny but active 5 year old would eat as his main meal.

expatinscotland · 10/05/2016 08:51

Bodyshaming is a form of bullying and she needs pulled up on it, no matter how small the environment is.

OohMavis · 10/05/2016 08:52

Exactly, Exit. There would be absolutely no way on earth I'd be asking for more. No way. Mortifying.

Besides which it's probably what she's expecting, so she can judge the OP even more than she already is.

Chippednailvarnishing · 10/05/2016 08:54

You're letting her get away with it by not saying anything

Yup.

If you're not going to say anything go up to the counter, let a colleague go first and then swap plates with them once they've been served.

InternationalHouseofToast · 10/05/2016 08:56

If you pay for these meals, there will be a set, costed portion of sausage, mash, vegetables. Ask her for the full portion next time, and if she declines, take a photo of your meal and a colleague's meal on their tray and contact someone more senior within the catering team, asking why it's appropriate for their staff to do this. They have no way of knowing that your size is linked to overeating and it's certainly not their job to police this for you.

slightlyglitterbrained · 10/05/2016 08:58

It is bullying, plain and simple. The mention of "staff room" - is this a school? Horrifying to think of this woman bullying vulnerable teens in this way.

RavioliOnToast · 10/05/2016 09:00

I'd just say 'aye, and the rest' or be sarcastic and say you don't get a figure like this by eating child's portions! Cheeky mare!

SecondMrsAshwell · 10/05/2016 09:00

And also, who's to say that those 3 sossies and 2 scoops are not your main meal of the day? A few branflakes for brekkie and a sarnie in the evening.

My BF eats his main meal in the middle of the day and it's taken 20-odd years to get him to understand that I can't do that - I'd be asleep by 2 o'clock. Or at least so drowsy that work would be impossible, but he hates sleeping on a very full stomach. I assume she's never asked?

In any case, what you eat is none of her business.

rainbowinfusedspaceunicorn · 10/05/2016 09:02

This is horrible, OP she has no right to treat you like this! Please say something.
And also echoing a pp - is this a school? Imagine she may be doing this to some of the larger students too if so Sad

blankmind · 10/05/2016 09:02

I'd photograph my colleague's and my food every day for a week or two and put a montage of them on the wall side by side in her supervisor's office.

That way she can't deny giving you less constantly.

Ladyboluna · 10/05/2016 09:05

YANBU.

I would ask whether she had eaten the rest of my meal, lol.

Gwenhwyfar · 10/05/2016 09:14

"Not relevant to the topic, but that's a pretty big meal isn't it! 3 sausages and 2 scoops of mash and veg."

Exactly. Why do you need 3 sausages?

Catmuffin · 10/05/2016 09:18

You have to say something. If you don't want to say it when you go up then ask her senior to please ensure that the servers are a bit more careful when serving food as you and your colleagues have noticed the portions are being dished out very unequally, so that some people are being given double what others are. (True of the potato.)
When she makes the rude comments say. "Can you stop commenting on my food please." Or just do the Miranda "Rude!" every time if you want to be more lighthearted about it.

Catmuffin · 10/05/2016 09:20

Gwen I'm sure if the sausages were big enough that three was too many then nasty food police woman wouldn't be giving all the others three of them.