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AIBU?

To be annoyed I get given less food because the cook thinks I need to lose weight?

207 replies

MrsAttending · 10/05/2016 07:21

We have catering on site and the lady who serves it (2 days a week) always gives me less than my colleagues. On other days a different lady serves and I get the same amount.

She's very slim and always talking about diets etc. I need to lose weight and it's very noticeable that she agrees when she serves up my food. It's a set menu e.g. I'll be given two sausages and one scoop of mash) and my colleagues would get three sausages and two mash.

I know it sounds petty but I am just as hungry as they are!!

She came into the staff room about 5 hours after lunch and I was having a snack and she said "you're not eating again" as if I couldn't possibly be hungry after the tiny meal she gave me.
Then yesterday I was eaten a homemade biscuit given to me as a thank you and she saw me and said "I've seen you" like I had been caught doing something wrong.

AIBU to be annoyed she is treating me noticeably differently? I pay the same as everyone else! It's a small environment so can't really complain.

AIBU?

OP posts:

Report

betsyderek · 10/05/2016 13:34

When we were living in site at a boarding school (husband was headmaster) he was only allowed one sausage at breakfast because he was prep. Senior school make teachers were allowed 4 and women 2. When he looked into this nuts rule he was told it was tradition and couldn't be changed so we changed the dinner lady contract instead.

IceBeing · 10/05/2016 13:51

This is work place bullying straight up. Tell her if she doesn't stop treating you differently then you will take it up formally with her line manager.

kali110 · 10/05/2016 14:21

Why do you need 3 sausages?
Really? Did someone really put thst?
You're as bad as the woman!
How rude! How about someone critiques what you eat everyday!
Op you're entitled to have the same portion as others.
I would want my 3 sausages as well

DeniseBee · 10/05/2016 14:25

This is appalling. She has no right to treat you differently to anyone else. Please complain. This sort of attitude would be messing with my head and no one has the right to do that

sofato5miles · 10/05/2016 14:34

This is bananas. I want all of you frothy arm chair warriers by my side when something serious actually happens.

This is 'overweight woman is judged for her size' - shocka. Happens everyday. I was a size 18, now 14/ 16 and find the attitude to food on here utterly bewildering. No wonder we are all getting larger.

AuntDotsie · 10/05/2016 14:42

This is 'overweight woman is judged for her size' - shocka.

Judged, sure. Penalised - nope.

Lweji · 10/05/2016 15:07

For a different perspective, a dinner lady at work got crossed with me because I kept telling her to put less on my plate. She just carried on regardless and I had to, erm, raise my voice so that she'd hear. She seems to hear fine now.
I'm skinny, so I don't know if she thought I needed to eat more. I don't. I already have a bowl of soup at the same time, and salad and dessert.

newtscamander · 10/05/2016 15:12

Could it be that she thinks she's helping you? Like I'll say to my colleagues "don't you dare buy me any treats today, I'm trying to cut down" so they won't even tempt me. Perhaps when she's chatted to you about diets you've said you're trying to lose weight, so she thinks she is being considerate...?

Just trying to play devil's advocate here. I agree with everyone else that it isn't her business to control the portion sizes.

Lweji · 10/05/2016 15:14

Maybe she is one of those people who think everyone should be her size and that anyone over a size 10 wants to lose weight?

Still, tell her to put the standard portion and end of story.

EmmaWoodlouse · 10/05/2016 15:22

and contact someone more senior within the catering team, asking why it's appropriate for their staff to do this

There hasn't been much mention of the fact that the other cook gives the OP her fair share. This might be worth mentioning in any complaint, as it is strong evidence that the unfair portions are just that one individual cook's idea and not company policy.

CaptainCabinet · 10/05/2016 15:26

As pps have said it's bullying. And you don't have to engage with her.or put up with it.

Take a photo of your meal next to a 'normal' portion every day for a fortnight noting which person served you.

Write down her comments with dates.

And report.

Lweji · 10/05/2016 15:58

Take a photo of your meal next to a 'normal' portion every day for a fortnight noting which person served you.

Complete with Daily Mail sad face when she gives you the smaller portions. Just in case...

blindsider · 10/05/2016 16:29

vestal virgin

only if you obsessively eat everything on the plate

Are you advocating wasting food then.? If I don't want to eat it I won't put it on my plate. People who take food and chuck it away really grind my gears.

Catmuffin · 10/05/2016 16:58

It's not really any different from someone doing their weekly shop and paying for it and then the shop assistant taking back a third of their shopping that they've paid for out of their trolley.

MrsMainwaring · 10/05/2016 17:17

I'd be grabbing that extra sausage and sprint to the staff room , shovelling it in as I went

Seriously OP , you are not in the wrong here

Tell her you want your full portion from now on and you don't appreciate her comments

Firm stare , stand your ground , then you shouldn't have to repeat it

MrsAttending · 10/05/2016 17:41

It wasn't her serving today so I got the same size portion as everyone else! :)

OP posts:

BoatyMcBoat · 10/05/2016 17:57

I'd stand there in front of her waiting for her to finish serving me, until she gave me the same as she gives everyone else. If she doesn't, then I'd ask for it ("I'd like a full portion, the same as everyone's") and if she says one fucking word I'd ask to repeat and then tell her I'm reporting her. And then I'd report her.

She's stealing food; perhaps giving her favourites extra or something. Anyway, it's cheating you, probably cheating the company, and is definitely stealing.

PovertyPain · 10/05/2016 18:33

She's stealing food; perhaps giving her favourites extra or something. Anyway, it's cheating you, probably cheating the company, and is definitely stealing.

That's exactly what I'm thinking. If you're being charged full price but getting less, then the food is going elsewhere.

ErnesttheBavarian · 10/05/2016 18:52

One of our dinner ladies always gives the men significantly more. To be fair, men do need more calories than women, and if you want more she'll give you more if you ask. Sometimes I go up and say "I'm starving!! " so she'll give me a bigger portion without directly asking.

I wouldn't bother going to her superiors or any other escalation without having first just politely asking her.

Are you on (other than the food wars) basically friendly terms? I hate confrontation and am useless at it. Hut I don't see why you couldn't just say "would you mind just sticking to the set portions please?" Even i would be brave enough for that. If she still robs you then take it further.

Gwenhwyfar · 10/05/2016 19:01

"People who take food and chuck it away really grind my gears."

I think the finish your plate culture has really contributed to obesity in this country. I don't think it's obsessive, it's how most of us were brought up, but if someone's eating out they don't always have control over how much is put on their plate, so sometimes you do have to leave it.

StealthPolarBear · 10/05/2016 19:22

Yes do not escalate it until you've spoken to her.
You can be direct and say "I'd like a normal portion please"
Or you can play dumb
"Oh have they decreased the portion sizes? I've just been in the staff room and I'm sure most people had three sausages"
But you do need to be clear to her.
And even if the op wasn't paying, that still wouldn't justify her getting less than others surely? Unless your portion size related to length of service or something :o

facebookrecruit · 10/05/2016 19:33

I've just joined MN after seeing hilarious threads shared on FB. And I saw this one first - OMFG that woman is a cheeky over opinionated rude cow. She has no right to make your portions smaller - especially when you're paying!!

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Janey50 · 10/05/2016 19:41

Wow I really cannot believe the bare-faced cheek of this woman. To pass judgement on you by reducing your portion sizes is downright rude. I would call her out on it and say that you would like the same sized portion as that she gives everyone else,seeing as you have paid the same. A few years ago,I had a similar experience in a local store's cafe. The woman behind the counter tried several times to palm me off with a smaller portion, whether it was shepherd's pie or a breakfast. She even tried telling me that a portion of hash browns consisted of one,when I had quite plainly seen her give everyone else 2! She also tried to 'forget' to give me the toast that came with a breakfast. After I had pulled her up on it a few times,she stopped doing it.

kali110 · 10/05/2016 19:42

sofa i got larger due to not being able to move but i'd still want exactly what i paid for
Thankfully canteen staff at my old work loved me

Becky546 · 10/05/2016 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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