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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think guests should use their own bathroom not the spare one on the landing!

202 replies

TigerPath · 07/05/2016 15:31

3-bed house, DH and I have a bedroom with ensuite upstairs next to DS' room. There's another bathroom on the landing which I use to bath DS or if DH is in ours. Downstairs is an ensuite guestroom.

We've had loads of guests since we moved (popular seaside location) and much as I love having them I like my own space! The whole point of a downstairs ensuite guestroom is they should never need to come upstairs! Angry Yet some of them come up to use the bathroom, which means I have to keep cleaning the bath and loo and I feel my space is being invaded.

Why can't they just use their own bathroom?? How do I tell them to use their own without seeming rude? It's a perfectly good bathroom with bath as well as shower, plenty of nice products, basket of spare toothbrushes, towels etc.

AIBU?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 07/05/2016 15:34

Find out what they think is wrong with the ensuite.

Put the problem right.

Simply ask them to use that bathroom only, to save you having to keep cleaning the other one.

If they know you well enough to stay with you, they'll know you well enough to understand cleaning bathrooms unnecessarily pisses you off (it would piss me off too).

Grilledaubergines · 07/05/2016 15:36

Yeah I think that would annoy me a bit actually and I'm not a fuss pot usually about these things.

How about on arrival "this is your room and you've got your own bathroom here too. We thought having our guest room down here with an ensuite would be a good idea so you have your own space."

And then a piece on piano wire across the first floor bathroom. Just don't forget it's there for yourselves!

Vixxfacee · 07/05/2016 15:53

Stealth boast about having 3 bathrooms Grin

rollonthesummer · 07/05/2016 15:59

Describe the guest bathroom to us....

I remember one post a few years ago on year, where to shower in the poster's guest room, they had to squat down in the bath because of how/where the shower was fitted!!

Unless there's something strange or unusual about the guest bathroom and presuming it is next to the guest bedroom (downstairs) then I'm surprised that any guests would have cause to go upstairs?!

WorraLiberty · 07/05/2016 16:01

That was my thinking rollon, that there must be a problem with the bathroom.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 07/05/2016 16:03

There is something sting with guest bathroom of they are bothering to go upstairs.

Have a shower, have a poo, see what it is that isn't right

Original poster
TigerPath · 07/05/2016 16:07

It has a full-height shower over the bath, same as the one upstairs. Loo, sink identical to one upstairs. Only difference is upstairs one is more spacious, there's a chair by the bath etc. No issues with the shower or loo, I checked after the last guests.

I think they just don't want to wake other person up/want more privacy so they assume upstairs one is for their use too! I think that's so rude!

I will have to say something.

OP posts:
acasualobserver · 07/05/2016 16:08

Wait until you have some really good friends to stay, the sort you've known for ever and can have a great laugh with and just ask them, 'Why does every bastard guest ignore the bathroom attached to their room in favour of the one up the stairs?"

NannawifeofBaldr · 07/05/2016 16:15

I'd ask too. It seems an odd thing to do.

We have a guest bathroom too, guests tend only to use that one.

beckywiththemehhair · 07/05/2016 16:16

op, it does seem strange for guests to choose another bathroom over the ensuite. However, in the same way that hotels and B&B often have several bathrooms in the premises for their guests, maybe they think that the other bathroom is for their use too. I think you need to be clear from the beginning what is communal and what is private.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 07/05/2016 16:21

Just say "Ooooh - don't use the bathroom upstairs - it's generally fine but occasionally the flush stops working for no reason whatsoever."

Joinourclub · 07/05/2016 16:22

Hmmm you could be my friend. I use the upstairs bathroom when everyone is up, because the downstairs one is right next to the living area and I feel self conscious weeing when everyone can hear.

pigsDOfly · 07/05/2016 16:23

Put a lock, one with a key, on the bathroom upstairs and only give keys to members of the family. Keep it permanently locked and no one else will be able to use it.

My last house use to have a combined bathroom and lavatory upstairs and a separate loo downstairs, which I expected visitors - not staying guests - to use.

Almost everyone who visited would just go straight upstairs and use the loo in my bathroom. Used to drive me nuts. I live alone and the bathroom was my private space.

It certainly had nothing to do with them feeling it was more private as the downstairs loo was tucked away at the back of the house and the bathroom was directly at the top of the stairs that were off the living room.

dudsville · 07/05/2016 16:28

Are you saying they never use the en suite, or they use the upstairs one as well as the en suite? If it's "as well" then I'd presume they don't know you consider this to be a breach. You don't have to get people around especially to test it, just try it yourself and see what might be the matter.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 07/05/2016 16:29

What JoinourClub says :

I can just about bring myself to wee in the ensuite when my partner is in the bedroom, but there is no way Id do a poo..

blaeberry · 07/05/2016 16:31

How old is ds? How about a stair gate at top and bottom of stairs? We had one that worked like a sideways roller blind. Guests could never figure out how to make it work...

ProjectUniverse · 07/05/2016 16:32

We had guests recently and also have 3 bathrooms - yet one guest thought it was ok to use our ensuite!

Wdigin2this · 07/05/2016 16:36

Fully understand your point! We have two bathrooms, I have family one and DH has ensiute. When we have guests, they have to use my bathroom....and I bloody hate it!!!!

louise2011 · 07/05/2016 16:42

They probably want to have a nosey at your upstairs. By providing them with a guest suite downstairs means that upstairs is essentially out of bounds BUT they need to have a poke around!

glenthebattleostrich · 07/05/2016 16:43

We had a townhouse with master bedroom and separate bathroom on the top floor and 2 bedroom with a jack and Jill family bathroom on the middle floor then living room, kitchen and toilet downstairs. The first time MIL came to stay I was in the shower when she started asking how long I'd be. Thinking she was just outside the door I turned to call out for her just to use the shower in her room as the water pressure was good. As I turned I realised that she was in my bathroom.

Obviously I was a bit cross and snapped could she just leave the room and use the other shower. Oh no, replies MIL, I'm going to try your shower and I'll just wait until you are done.

Get the hell out of my bloody bathroom yells I which prompts MIL to stomp out in a huff. Very strong words were had and she wasn't invited back for some time especially as she didn't see what she'd done wrong and complained that I'd upset her and didn't make her welcome enough.

YADNBU, guests need to keep to their own area.

GinnyMcGinFace · 07/05/2016 16:44

I'm sure you do, but...you do make sure there are towels?! Maybe they all stealthily steal your toiletries?! It seems very odd-I'm lazy and wouldn't bother coming up the stairs if I didn't have to!

beckywiththemehhair · 07/05/2016 16:44

glen Shock

louise2011 · 07/05/2016 16:45

Also , my sister, who has a massive house with 4 bathrooms found a guest taking her toddler to do a wee in her ensuite at a house party recently!!!! (Other side of her house). Really???? Nosey f**cker

Cressandra · 07/05/2016 16:49

"Put a lock, one with a key, on the bathroom upstairs and only give keys to members of the family. Keep it permanently locked and no one else will be able to use it."

This could come across as a tad standoffish :)

I think Mumoftwo has the solution. Also use the downstairs bathroom for a couple of days and see if you can figure out what the problem is. Is it windowless, do you have curtains/blinds fitted or could there be a privacy issue?

Originalfoogirl · 07/05/2016 16:51

We have far too many bathrooms, the guest room en-suite has been turned into an accessible wet room for our daughter. Nobody ever uses the shower in there, they use the one in the main bathroom, which never is used by us as its tiny and both the ensuite ones are bigger. It annoys me a bit as it means more cleaning, but I'd never say to any guest ( who are generally family or close friends) that any of our house is off limits to them.

I know my mum doesn't use it because she hates shower curtains (I'm with her on that one) and my sister doesn't like the feel of the floor under her feet. But I just love having them to stay so they can use which ever showers they like.