To think guests should use their own bathroom not the spare one on the landing!

[TigerPath]

3-bed house, DH and I have a bedroom with ensuite upstairs next to DS' room. There's another bathroom on the landing which I use to bath DS or if DH is in ours. Downstairs is an ensuite guestroom.

We've had loads of guests since we moved (popular seaside location) and much as I love having them I like my own space! The whole point of a downstairs ensuite guestroom is they should never need to come upstairs! Yet some of them come up to use the bathroom, which means I have to keep cleaning the bath and loo and I feel my space is being invaded.

Why can't they just use their own bathroom?? How do I tell them to use their own without seeming rude? It's a perfectly good bathroom with bath as well as shower, plenty of nice products, basket of spare toothbrushes, towels etc.

AIBU?

It's probably some weirdness about doing a poo in the ensuite. I see this on MN all the time, as if the poo can somehow crawl out of the bathroom to contaminate the bedroom! Is there a window in the ensuite?

For the record, the ensuite is my favourite place to do a poo :o It's so small and cosy and gives me a fighting chance of squeezing one out without a DC hanging on my knee.

I had a family member stay recently. showed her the bedroom and the bathroom (not en suite but on the landing by the bedroom). Nice bathroom with bath and separate large walk in shower. When she got up i heard the shower in my en suite running. When she came down she said she had a look for a shower and found one in my en suite. I have no idea how she didn’t spot the really big one in the bathroom she was using. I didn’t say anything. I like this person and she is a bit eccentric so i wasn’t really bothered. I don’t think could get too bothered by people using other bathrooms.

foo got it. And sorry if I came across a bit curt. Good for you that you love to share your whole house with guests who come to stay. But people have different boundaries that's all and not wanting to open your whole home to visitors doesn't make you an ungenerous or ungracious host is all I'm saying.

Just stop putting loo roll in there OP...

COMMUNICATE!!!!!!

Its not hard.

YABU.

YANBU but I'm a light sleeper and not keen on using ensuites at night. I tend to bumble around in the dark not switching the noisy fan/light thingy on to avoid waking DH and quite frankly it's easier to use another loo! I also don't flush at night for the same reason! Are they using your lbathroom all the time or just at night?

Put a stair gate on the stairs, a really tricky one to open.

Or one of those locks with a pin code on it on the bathroom door.

beckywiththemehhair So..why have guests then? By definition having guests to stay means opening your house to them?

I don't think having guests means having to open your whole house to them. For example my wardrobe is out of bounds as is my sex dungeon and gimp masks.

The point is that being welcoming and friendly doesn't equal no boundaries. You wouldn't be expected to disclose your every intimate thought with a guest just because they're staying at your home right?

Becky nobody is asking you to share your intimate thoughts.
But bathrooms? Really? They're just, er, bathrooms.
If somebody banned me from some of their toilets or implied it is think they were semi-nuts... And peobably wouldn't stay again or invite them to my "bathrooms for anyone" house

I would think they were nuts.. Sorry for typos

No one is allowed to use our ensuite apart from us. We have 4 toilets FGS! Ds has an en suite on his bedroom (crazy new build) and it has a lovely power shower in it so I direct people to use that. The family bathroom only has a shower over bath thing so isn't brilliant.

Lie and say it's broken?

Be it intimate thoughts or intimate movements - I like to have boundaries for intimate stuff see? And frankly I'd prefer not to smell other people's shit especially when there is an ensuite exclusively for their use. If that makes me nuts to some then so be it.

Or have to clean up after other people's shit either which was the issue in OP's post

"beckywiththemehhair So..why have guests then? By definition having guests to stay means opening your house to them? confused"

Being a little obtuse there.

Are you really suggesting that people who are not prepared to open every single space in their home should never have guests?

Ridiculous.

what would everyone think if the opposite scenario though?

I have 5 bathrooms, 4 of which have showers. Would you not think it was odd if you were staying in my guest room and I randomly decided to use that particular shower when there are a number of other, more convenient, less privacy invading options available?

Really? Is it really rude for your guests to use one of your 3 bathrooms, which is in the landing and therefore more private? (See many pp explaining how they don't like to do their business in an en suite while their partner is in the bedroom).

You should tell them not to use it, together with your reasons... it will come across as rude, weird and unwelcoming because that's what it is.

Sorry but yabu. To be fair not everyone likes having guests.

I can totally understand people objecting if guests use their ensuite bathroom when visiting. That does seem very intrusive. But saying that guests are only allowed downstairs seems really odd and unwelcoming to me. Surely if the bathroom is used by anyone it needs to be regularly cleaned, why woud a guest using it be any different than a resident family member?

Perhaps it has more to do with having just too many people visiting, or having people to visit that you don't particularly like?

Surely removing the towels, loo paper and soap from the upstairs bathroom would put most people off. Just to make sure, you could fill the bath with your DC's bath toys and say to any guests not to use the room - if you feel awkward about that tell them it is because the loo often doesn't flush or something.

Put a baby gate on the stairs, or a motion alarm.

I think when they come and stay you just have to say "this is your room and could you please use this bathroom not the upstairs one". I think if it's night time and the person you are sharing a room with is asleep then going upstairs risking waking up the people upstairs is really rude. It's putting your partner's comfort above that of your host's.

There's a blind on the window (no gaps) so it's not that.

I put plenty of towels, loo rolls, wipes and toiletries in there (Sanctuary Spa, Body Shop shampoo/conditioner/creams/ cleanser etc they match the colour scheme!) Upstairs bathroom is full of baby products which must be less appealing

Yes maybe they feel shy using the loo if people are in the living room (which is next to guestroom) though I doubt anyone could hear through the wall, it's an ensuite so enclosed within guestroom. Couldn't they just run the shower to cover any noise?
And I don't get why you'd be shy to poo with your partner in the bedroom, what do you do in hotels??

Not all guests use upstairs bathroom, just some.

I don't think it's being inhospitable to want them to use the bathroom I've prepared for them. Why would they need two? In our old house we only had one, shared between everyone!